But More Importantly, What In The Hell Kind Of GD Set Decoration Is This?
As Gayle King gave Oprah a victory massage in her spot of choice (it's way too late in the week for me to describe in detail what Oprah's spot of choice is, so you decide), millions of people watched Lance Armstrong admit to being a doper and an award-winning champion liar. But as Lance barfed out the truth, I kept focusing on the shit job the set decorator did. Yes, I care about the important things. Oprah really screwed up this time, because there goes that Emmy nomination for Best Set Decoration in a Shit Show.
While watching, I kept waiting for two old ladies wearing windbreakers to walk on by, pick up a vase, look under it for the price and then scream at Oprah, "$5?! You crazy! I'll take it off your hands for two quarters and nothing more." Shit looked like an estate sale. What was with that shallow bowl thing? When are people going to learn that you can't just put an empty bowl on a table and call it design. Oprah could've thrown some tangerines in there or if she really wanted to be a bitch, she should've filled it with Truck Nutz. Maybe The Mighty O had that bowl on hand, because she was going to use it to collect Lance's nut if he refused to come clean. And that mysterious box on the table? Gayle King should've come out in a rhinestone gown ala Price is Right and opened it to reveal Lance's favorite shootin' up needle. But she didn't. That box and that bowl were about as useless as those bendy straws. I swear, Oprah should've hired Sandra Lee to do the background tablescape. Anyway, enough about that. Now let's move on to less important matters.
Lance finally admitted that starting in the 90s, he took performance-enhancing drugs including blood doping, EPO, testosterone and HGH. Lance admitted that he took them before all of seven of his Tour de France victories, but that he stopped doping in 2005. Lance also admitted to being a first-rate shit bag to anybody who outed him as a doping cheat. Lance was never afraid he'd get caught and he never thought he was going to get caught. Lance doped up, because a lot of the other cyclists were doping up and he wanted to level the playing field. Lance called himself an "arrogant prick" and said that he just got caught up in the lie and so he kept on lie-telling:
"I view this situation as one big lie that I repeated a lot of times. I know the truth. The truth isn't what was out there. The truth isn't what I said. I'm a flawed character, as I well know. All the fault and all the blame here falls on me."
The weirdest part of the interview was when Lance told Oprah that he had called Betsy Andreu, an accuser who refused to lie for him, and said this to her:
"I called you crazy. I called you a bitch. But I never called you fat."
Betsy responded by saying, "Phew! I'm so glad you don't think I'm fat, Lance. I'd rather be a crazy skinny bitch than a sane fat nicey person." It's nice to know that the potent drug known as CRAZY is still flowing through Lance's veins.
And I'd like to take this time to confess to all of you that for years I've been using performance-enhancing drugs for bloggers like boxed wine, pocket pies and weed. Wait, or maybe those are performance-degrading drugs. I could've read the labels wrong.
via HuffPo
• 
overpaid, overhyped athletes are not my thing...i refuse to watch this shit...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
What an unpleasant asshole he is.
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
Was Sugar Free Redbull's account deleted? I hope that I am wrong.
Meatblocks!
He has all the integrity of a lactating prostitute.
@ Foxxy, me too - livestrong.com is one of the better sites of its kind.
I love you Michael K for getting to the ultimate point of everything! I worked several years in SetDec on TV shows and the only thing you need to know is that the Set should be pleasant but invisible otherwise it is a SetDon't.
Lance is a kingpin doper amongst a field of dopers and his strategy seems to be to take down everyone and be the last man standing. He is also a glib liar when he tells a story.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Fri, 01/18/2013 - 1:29pm.
I won't watch this. I refuse to give he or Oprah that much of my time.
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Amen, PSL.
I knew something in the Gatorade wasn't clean with this guy when he dumped Sheryl Crow right after her breast cancer diagnosis. That's some cold shit, especially for a cancer survivor himself.
And fuck Oprah. She's as narcissistic as Armstrong is.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Is he going to return the money he got for all the tournaments and "wins"?
i really do hope that people [and corporate givers] are able to separate the man from the organization and livestrong does not take a big hit from this
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by OurMissC on Fri, 01/18/2013 - 1:26pm.
Whatever happened to just being the best you can be?
come on, that passion is still alive and well in the whoring and golddigging sports
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
I won't watch this. I refuse to give he or Oprah that much of my time.
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Don't ya think that you need somebody?
Don't ya think that you need someone?
Everybody needs somebody
You're not the only one, you're not the only one
Fucking dumbass probably gave himself testicular cancer with his substance use. And then we all felt so so sorry for him. And he created an entire foundation on it. Boo hoo.
I hope he's forced to donate any monies he's won.
A.s.s.h.o.l.e.
Submitted by OurMissC on Fri, 01/18/2013 - 1:26pm.
Whatever happened to just being the best you can be?
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Unfortunately that line has be retired and buy the best you can buy has taken its place.
Too bad that sports today is just about money. Whatever happened to just being the best you can be?
"...sometimes sucking on the same dick gets real boring." - MK's eloquent cousin
what Foxxy said....
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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
Call me naive, and I am not a fangirl, but I can't believe that he doped all of that time. He must have had an inside man letting him know when they were going to test him.
Submitted by IrishFury on Fri, 01/18/2013 - 1:07pm.
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Um excuse me..I will NOT be ignored Dana
I will admit I read his first book and was entirely inspired by it. It was a feel-good story that really made me put him on a pedestal.
When his first wife, Kristen (I think that's her name) left his ass, I became suspicious. Then he had all of these kids with all of these random women. His situation went entirely against everything he said he stood for in his book (family, morals, integrity, etc.). And then I started hearing all of these stories about what a FUCKING ASSHOLE he was to his teammates that helped make him the superstar he was...and that was it for me.
This assclown (term courtesy of Whamo) duped the entire world into believing he was this courageous man of strength and upstanding character when he's really a fucking ruthless bully douchewad who wouldn't let ANYTHING or ANYONE stand in his way of victory and a shit ton of money...and that's what pisses me off more than anything. He is a complete fraud and I have no idea how he can look at himself in the mirror everyday, much less his kids.
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
I love how he waited until he couldn't be busted for perjury to admit this.
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Puts a song, in this heart of mine
Puts a smile on my face every time
'Cause I love a rainy night
I absolutely appreciate what he's done for cancer awareness and fundraising. But while he's done good, that doesn't mean he is good. He truly seems narcissistic, cold and irreparably damaged to the core no matter how many times he apologizes.
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If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.
refuse to watch either of those jackasses. honey boo boo? i'd look at her all day long. these two? fuck them both.
another theory re why he's doing this now -- to boost his personal appearance fees, get paid for interviews, write a book about his "confession" and doping, etc etc. $$$
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by Lisbet459 on Fri, 01/18/2013 - 1:02pm.
I think there are a few things going on with Armstrong on the "fat, crazy bitch" thing.
(1) He strikes me as the kind of guy who thinks that, of all 3 words, fat is, like, the worst thing EVAH. So, in his attempts to make himself look more sympathetic, he's trying to claim that there are Lines He Did Not Cross.
It reminds me of during the whole BTK serial killer trial, there were pictures of him tied up, wearing women's underwear and a weird mask. Dennis Rader refused to admit he was in the pictures. Like the whole murdering entire families of people was okay, but wearing women's underwear- that's just crazy!
Haha MK!!!! Sheer brilliance. I ruv roo
Didn't watch cause I don't like the guy & never have, but Mr C watched and said "he's still an arrogant prick!". Opinions remained the same.
He is an obvious narcissus. He has no remorse for the people affected by this . Sad.
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 01/18/2013 - 12:32pm.
-lol careful, whammo, lance'll be looking for a second career real soon and that just might seem like an offer.
i just do not get this scumbag's rationale ... the only reason we all know him is because he fuckin lied his ass off ... so, to what do we "restore" him to, what the fuck does this guy want let alone expect? he bastardized sooooooo many, wasted the life efforts of soooo many and stole so fucking much.
why does this self disgraced piece of shit think that he should, or could, be "forgiven" and continue to be a public whatever?
he needs to get behind a door and close it, finite.
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
This looks like a meeting room at a hotel.
Lance is probably Te'o's invisible girlfriend, because you know he's that imaginary broad is taking some of the heat off of him.
(2) It's a way of undermining her, even now. He's quoted saying 3 things, 2 of which are odious and he did in fact say. Focus on the one inaccuracy. Hope that all the low information, low interest people will hear is that it's not 100% accurate.
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True. A lot of criminals will confess to something smaller but insist that they didn't so the bigger things. In this way, they look honest (confessing to something) and then think they convince something that since they are honest, they mustn't have done the bigget stuff.
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Dark-sided!
Sports are boring.
Submitted by annobanano on Fri, 01/18/2013 - 12:48pm.
@ Whamo
100% on board with you. Crappiest "confession" ever, not even a modicum of remorse.
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Indeed Anno!
I'm with you guys on the "sociopath" tag, he seems to be an emotionless robot.
ABC just announced that he's joining the cast of "Pretty Little Liars": http://hollywoodandswine.com/lance-armstrong-joins-cast-of-abc-familys-p...
Andy Marx
Submitted by rukiddingme on Fri, 01/18/2013 - 12:54pm.
Here's one theory on why he's decided to admit what he did; his cancer is back and he's terminally ill, & he did this to try to make himself look better before he dies. Just a thought.
******
poor baby. i don't care. he hurt a lot of people and deserves whatever bad shit comes his way.
maybe he got ball cancer from all that shit he put into his body. just sayin'
Betsy responded by saying, "Phew! I'm so glad you don't think I'm fat, Lance. I'd rather be a crazy skinny bitch than a sane fat nicey person." It's nice to know that the potent drug known as CRAZY is still flowing through Lance's veins.
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I think there are a few things going on with Armstrong on the "fat, crazy bitch" thing.
(1) He strikes me as the kind of guy who thinks that, of all 3 words, fat is, like, the worst thing EVAH. So, in his attempts to make himself look more sympathetic, he's trying to claim that there are Lines He Did Not Cross.
(2) It's a way of undermining her, even now. He's quoted saying 3 things, 2 of which are odious and he did in fact say. Focus on the one inaccuracy. Hope that all the low information, low interest people will hear is that it's not 100% accurate.
Submitted by IrishFury on Fri, 01/18/2013 - 12:46pm.
Whamo, this is not the first time you have vehemently wanted Lance to be fucked in the ass.
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lol, well to be fair I never said I wanted to do it, it just needs to be done that's all.
Good morning by the way my little shamrock of love!
I have never, never liked this guy. Why on earth did Sheryl Crow go out with him, let alone want to marry him?!
Ugh. I'm not a psychologist, but I would say sociopath for sure.
I totally agree with the set decoration comments, Michael! What's up with all the brown? and random "objets d'art." Boring!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Amnesty International
Shine a Light
Here's one theory on why he's decided to admit what he did; his cancer is back and he's terminally ill, & he did this to try to make himself look better before he dies. Just a thought.
What's more sad than the fact that 10,000 animals got euthanized today? The fact that because of the ignorance of humans, it will happen again tomorrow. End the cycle. Spay and neuter your pets & please adopt your next pet from a shelter.
Whamo could change his username to LL Cool W because Ladies Love Cool Whamo! All the chicks on the D, except for ANGELA, love him.
Submitted by skinny fat on Fri, 01/18/2013 - 12:32pm.
And Oprah did a crap job; letting him say he didn't want to answer a question. No answer; goodby, end of interview.
======================
I dunno, Skinny. I think she gave him enough rope to make him look like a sociopath. She wouldn't have been able to do that if she had played hardball and put him on the defensive.
Submitted by Desertrat on Fri, 01/18/2013 - 12:41pm.
He came across more as a sociopath who is sorry he got caught than a cheater and liar who is genuinely sorry for cheating and lying.
___________________
Yes, I noticed in an article I read about the interview that he said the scariest thing was that he did not care at all that he lied and cheated.
I hear he's only doing this because he wants to do triathlons, and he hopes WADA will lift his ban if he plays along.
My mother is a huuuuuuge cycling fan (all my info on this is coming from her) and she says he's always been "dead behind the eyes". I wonder if he'll get sued by the people he insulted, particularly in the British Isles and continental Europe, which have different defamation laws.
Submitted by IrishFury on Fri, 01/18/2013 -
Obviously our relationship is a sham.
How dreadful.
I am very sorry for your loss :-( Please accept my deepest condolences.
@ Whamo
100% on board with you. Crappiest "confession" ever, not even a modicum of remorse.
Submitted by elegantlady on Fri, 01/18/2013 - 12:45pm.
^is in love with Whamo.
So dreamy in his tirades!
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mmm, k.
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Dark-sided!
He even looks high while doing the interview. Ha!
All those years of doping and injecting shit in to himself is gonna take a greater toll on him than his lies did. All those chemicals coursing through your blood stream CAN NOT be healthy...Chris Benoit anyone?
PS: Still have 0 fucks to give.
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"Vanity’s a business built to fleece the unique. Silicone and stars collide. The rest will fall in line. Just as beautiful as you are, it’s so pitiful what you are.You should have seen this coming all along."
Whamo, this is not the first time you have vehemently wanted Lance to be fucked in the ass.
Obviously our relationship is a sham.
How dreadful.
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Dark-sided!
MK, I haven't posted in donkey's years, but I read you like....a hawk, cause I love ya. And this post is so f'ing funny. But yeah, sociopaths like Lance Armstrong could sit in front of "bad Oprah" for hours and nothing will make them....magically have a moral view. Comedy is the only way to process this....giant fraud. Lance Armstrong is OVAH! (Since the 90s, you're so socio-path ugly Lance.)
My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens...and weasels.
^is in love with Whamo.
So dreamy in his tirades!
++++++++
Virtue and Talent are obviously overrated.
Yup. It's a suite in the Four Seasons in Austin.
Anyone who's ever had any dealings with Lance knows he's a self-happy prick.
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"Look at this lamb, I'm going to make condoms out of it so that you can ride me until your pussy says 'baaaaaah.'"
~ASkars as channeled by Michael K