Kim Kartrashian Wants You To Stop Joking About Her Joke Of A Second Marriage
The official ambassadors for fame whores were on Letterman last night to pimp out their show Kim & Kourtney Taint Miami, and of course David Letterman brought up her blink-and-you-missed-it marriage to the factory-defected animatronic Big Foot Harry that is Kris Humphries.
It's been over a year since Kim Kardashian read the words "stage direction - walk to courthouse, file for divorce" in her script and so Letterman asked her why the divorce is taking so long. While looking like a bloated Predator in a 2-star maitre d tuxedo, Kim told Letterman that her divorce is taking so long, because Kris is suing her for tricking him into marrying her ass for publicity. The slow one then piped in with a joke. Here's how the conversation went:
Dave: Now you, you're still married to your former husband, Kris Humpries? You're still married to him.
Kim: Yes, I am.
Dave: Now, when are you going to wrap that up?
Kim: Well, I'm trying, and it's a process and I've been trying for almost two years now, to um, to wrap it up, but it's, you know, it's hard.
Dave: I guess it's none of my business, but what does he want? Does he want his own show?
Kim: I can't speak for Kris, but I just want him to be happy and I want us to move on and that's really what I want, is just to move on.
Dave: Now again you don't have to do this, but when the divorce comes through, and he wants an annulment, is that right? Why an annulment, what's the difference?
Kim: I don't really know cause even if we got an annulment... I would love to give him one but then that would make...the only legal way to get an annulment is if fraud were involved, so that's what tricky. So he is suing me for an annulment based on the fact that I frauded him into marrying him for publicity.
Dave: So he's claiming that he was the victim of fraud?Kim: Yes, well, that's the only way to get an annulment is if one person was frauded, so that was, um, the case.
Dave: But fraud was not a factor here, is that right?
Kim: Not in my case, no.
Kourtney: I think if she was going to do it for publicity, she's pick someone that people knew.
Never mind that Pimp Mama Kris is totally going to pimp slap Kourtney Kardashian for making fun of her casting decisions, doesn't Kourtney realize that she's only famous because Ray J slapped Kim's ass with his neck pillow dick in front of a camera and because Ryan Seacrest fulfilled a favor he owed to Lucifer by putting them on basic cable?
Kim then told Letterman that people need to saying that they've let out farts that have lasted longer than her marriage, because she's still married!
Those jokes really can't work, because I've really been married for almost two years. . . . So it hasn’t been 72 days, it's been almost two years.
I just....can't. What do you even say to that? I'd blame it on pregnancy brain, but Kim didn't have a brain to begin with.
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This stupid fucking skank.....LOL! She looks like shit!
The pics of her getting fatter and fatter are going to be awesome!
Kourtney: "I think if she was going to do it for publicity, she'd pick someone that people knew."
Did Kourtney just OUT Kim's reason for hooking up with Kanye and getting pregnant? I think so. How great for that baby to be conceived for publicity.
They are truly the lowest forms of human life imaginable.
And in what mirror from hell did that outfit Kim is wearing look good?
Seriously. She's gotten fat and very wide, and she puts zip/button front slacks on?? WOW.
The only way you can get an annulment is if fraud was involved. lololol So Kris Khumphries wants her to admit fraud before he will let it go. Then I guess sue he will sue her for fraud. So do we respect his gold digger moves here or does it just seem sad?
Boredas
That wasn't very kind. My feelings are hurt.
Number one way to tell your boyfriend is gay: He is a 'fashion designer' who dresses you up as a MAN!!!!
And why are they posing with their legs all crooked? Straighten up!
Gross.
I just can't take these low class idiotic cunts!
"frauded". This is what happens when your closet is more important than your brain.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by juni on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 7:31pm.
How about the term "kardashian"? I feel sorry for any hardworking ordinary non-famewhore Armenians who share that surname.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by Kukai-manini on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 6:53pm.
I know you must have lightening hands to type so quickly and are very aware of correct spelling but the only thing I could criticize you on today would be because I am a troll, and that is what I do.
"What is the correct spelling of trooll?'
I'm just wondering what the correct spelling of the word 'Troll' is.
Thanks.
troll is the formal spelling of the word.
Common alternative spellings are The Original douche, Flaming Anal Cunt, ass flamer, internet phaggot, keyboard warrior and annoying.
Definition: Someone who is purposefully posting on a forum/messageboard/site with the sole aim to irritate the regular members.
http://alltheragefaces.com/img/faces/large/troll-troll-face-l.png
Urbandictionary.com
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Carry on....
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"Vanity’s a business built to fleece the unique. Silicone and stars collide. The rest will fall in line. Just as beautiful as you are, it’s so pitiful what you are.You should have seen this coming all along."
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 7:10pm.
We've all been frauded by the Kardashians.
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Omg, we were frauded, yes! hahaha
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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LOL at: "Dave: Now, when are you going to wrap that up?" - ya beotch, when are you leavin'? lol
And is "fraud" even used as a verb? Isn't it defraud? I don't normally care, but this is KK the hippoignorantimus!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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This might have been covered by one of you already...Say she is pregnant. Say she does have a baby. If she is still married, will the baby legally be Kris's baby? Would kanye have to adopt it?
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Amnesty International
Shine a Light
The dictionary needs new terms for "shallow" and "vapid." They are not strong enough in her case.
What on earth is this bitch wearing?
I have never seen someone so pretty try so incredibly hard to look awful. To begin with, she had a nice face. It was very pretty. Then, she decides to get all this expensive and completely meritless plastic surgery. Now, she is wearing clothes straight out of a grandma's closet. Sheesh.
I just wish this family would fade into oblivion. I desperately want to never have to hear from them again.
Foxxy equals zosiasmom- someone well known to pretend to be a lawyer.
We've all been frauded by the Kardashians.
Submitted by itsthebritneybitch on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 3:26pm.
Oh, she's that evil. I fully believe she and her family are evil enough to fake a pregnancy and miscarriage, all so they can have a "very special episode" about it.
Submitted by chewinsmoke on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 3:00pm.
Yeah, that's why you're not supposed to have a shotgun marriage. It can be considered emotional coercion.
And yeah, I think that Kris has a case. I'm sure he knew the marriage was for publicity, at least on her part, but I don't think old Frankenstein head thought they would ditch him after a month or two.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Also, Kim looks like a fat old man. Giant ass, giant sagging tits, giant gut. All she needs is a beer and a pair of suspenders.
In some shots, she looks less like she's pregnant and more like she's smuggling a midget in her giant shirt.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Almost 2 years? They weren't even engaged 2 years ago!
Submitted by AgentBrittany on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 3:42pm.
You need to do more research, cuz annulments are NOT based on how long you've been married or even if you have kids. I know somebody whose first wife was with him for years, had kids with him, but once she got a primo job she revealed she was just using him all along.
Basically you can be married for 70 years, but if you were drunk during the ceremony or shagged a bridesmaid during the reception, it's still annullable.
And no, the kids aren't considered illegitimate if the marriage is annuled. Not that it matters anymore anyway.
Submitted by AtomicCity on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 3:32pm.
Um, no. Too many Catholics WITHOUT money marry people of other religions for that to be the case. Try again.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 4:22pm.
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"why are you calling ME OUT instead of the others"and then you in fact turn tail to appease her, THATS WHY. Capache?
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I know you must have lightening hands to type so quickly and are very aware of correct spelling but the only thing I could criticize you on today would be this: (it is a cut & paste job from Yahoo Ask).
"What is the correct spelling of 'Kapish'?
I'm just wondering what the correct spelling of the word 'KA-peesh' is.
Thanks.
Capisce is the formal spelling of the word.
Common alternative spellings are capice, capicé, capiche, capeesh, capisch, capishe and coppish.
It derives from the Italian word capire "to understand" and from Latin capere "to grasp, seize".
Shame on Dave for having these 2 losers on his show, but at least he poked fun at them.
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Puts a song, in this heart of mine
Puts a smile on my face every time
'Cause I love a rainy night
Kourtney has a point.. at least kim should have picked someone to marry.. I do honestly believe she was picking someone to have a child with.. but whatever I know a lot of females at that age who are quick to marry someone just to get the family going not necessarily for love.
PS: I'm really enjoying her balloon up like a whale week by week..
Why do people keep boking these fucking nobodies on their shows? Nobody likes them, they are a laughing stock and have redifined the word Famewhore. Kim is going to end up the size of Jessica Simpson when she advances in her pregnancy thats even if she is pregnant. She could be doing a Beyonce and just slap on a pillow that magically folds in half.
Gawwwd I hate these two !!
"DuFrane party of two. DuFrane party of two. Bush party of three.
Yeah but , what happened to the DuFranes ?!?!?!?!?!?!? "
- Mitch Hedberg 1968 - 2005.
Submitted by bambam on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 5:44pm.
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Where am I having words with Gladys, more importantly, who the fuck is Gladys??? The Kuaki,Kaki...whatever person?? No I'm not... Oh please Bam, you know damn well that's the not case, you're smarter than that. Your explanation is bullshit, because some of us can read between the lines(so can you, so don't blow smoke up my ass), especially when it comes to people like her kind, but thank you for staying out of it, because your need to be captain-save-hoe to shit-stirrers is clouding your ability to see wisely, love ya though. ;)
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"Vanity’s a business built to fleece the unique. Silicone and stars collide. The rest will fall in line. Just as beautiful as you are, it’s so pitiful what you are.You should have seen this coming all along."
Go fuck yourselves, Kardashians.
Just two things: Those shoes are fucking hideous and she is going to get F.A.T.!!! I can't wait :-)
Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 4:58pm.
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With all due respect, what I see is you having words with gladys and foxxy having words with gladys and you having words with foxxy, all exclusive between the two parties warring at that particular moment. I see foxxy duking it out with gladys, in the process commiting blog plaigarism (god forbid!) using terms generated off of your fingertips.
There's no way of possibly knowing the context foxxy is using (she could be embracing it in fun a few days removed, maybe?) and unless she explicity states her intent, any interpretation is in the mind of the reader. So what I see is foxxy arguing with someone OTHER THAN YOU, taking claim of words said about her for whatever reasons she's certainly entitled to have and entitled to give no explanation for. Same as if she were called some other word that she decided to reinterpret another way.
So WHAT I SEE IS SOMEONE JUMPING INTO AN ARGUMENT OVER SOMETHING THEY SAID THAT THEY INTERPRETED AS A SWIPE AT THEM EVEN THOUGH THE REFERENCE IS ONLY TANGENTIALLY RELATED TO THEM, LIKE THIS IS SOME "ENEMY OF MY ENEMY IS MY FRIEND" SHIT.
So now that I've given my perspective on this, I'll stay out of it. With all due respect. ;P
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fuck u dan snyder.
With her in that suit over her preggo belly, they could be the Armenian Laurel and Hardy. (no offense to l&h, RIP)
neck pillow dick ------ ahahaha I had to sit there and try to think of what shape a neck pillow is...
Submitted by princesspoppy on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 4:59pm.
*pops popcorn*
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Sorry PP, Maybe you can save it for her and the Kukai(I'm not going back to find that name, you know who I'm talking about) person, because I try to limit my disagreements(shocker, I know) and interactions with people who are obvious trolls or mentally unsound individuals with delusions of grandeur (calling people stalkers, when I would think an attorney would know the general and legal definition of one, and clearly her incorrect use of it, proves otherwise to her "claims"). I've tried to get along with her, but her incessant race baiting is just too fucking ridiculous. Hopefully others come to that conclusion eventually. If not oh well.
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"Vanity’s a business built to fleece the unique. Silicone and stars collide. The rest will fall in line. Just as beautiful as you are, it’s so pitiful what you are.You should have seen this coming all along."
Kim, especially in thumbnail #4, looks like how old timey fat men use to look wearing suits with their belts over the middle of their fat stomachs.
ala Fred Mertz I Love Lucy Fred and Ethel (clipped to polyvore.com)
And another because it's of course amazingly wonderful that she's pulling of the same body type look as Fred, http://demogirl06.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/fred-mertz.jpg?w=690
I now feel like watching "I love lucy".
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"So what was all that about enlarged holes and tight cracks?" -Enid
http://mccoy.lib.siu.edu/~jadams/310g/readings05/ogbu.pdf
pg. 22, et seq.
done and moving on. see bambam -- i do it when I'M ready to.
and i am so flattered that i create such strong feeling in my haters. i have not one but TWO stalkers. thanks for following me around psychos. it is SO hilarious to me that i bother you so much when you are nothing to me. i NEVER get on dlisted to find out what either of you are saying about ANYTHING, i just happen to run into it. but you both are all over my every word 24 fucking 7. i love it. keep it coming. but this go round has gotten really boring. at least the stupid argument on monday kept moving to new points
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by princesspoppy on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 4:59pm.
Would you like a beer, mah lady?
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" Can I wear the Scream mask? The mask from Scream... when I do you from behind..." ~ Kenny Powers
oooohhhh Hekki, I love :)) the way you think!! I hope they get someone good for the live "whose yo daddy?" reveal!
yeah, and you also never had any plastic surgery on your face, you fucking LIAR Cat-faced Lady!!
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Puts a song, in this heart of mine
Puts a smile on my face every time
'Cause I love a rainy night
I still love letterman calling her out on it. LOVE
Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 4:50pm.
Submitted by bambam on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 4:29pm.
Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 4:22pm.
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Damn boredas, you said that about her, we got it. She appropriated it and used it talking to some OTHER person, otherwise she didn't reference you at all.
So why?______________________________
Because she is a fucking shit stirrer HERSELF. THAT'S WHY. And if you're going to use what I say about you, to someone else, you are implying ME, so therefore I have a right to say something, THAT'S WHY...And if you're gonna be so intimidated by her that when she whines at "why are you calling ME OUT instead of the others"and then you in fact turn tail to appease her, THATS WHY. Capache? I think she's fake, I think she's a racist, I think she is a shit stirrer, she was trying to do it again last night with her clique, and I have no use for her. So with all due respect, stay out of it.
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*pops popcorn*
Submitted by jelliebean: "So...is Kris H. holding things up for money and to screw with her? As in "you and Kanye need to pay up if you want to be free" ? This is my impression of why he would be doing this, if it is, I am all for it. I hope he gives any money he gets to charity.
Also it make me laugh every time someone calls him her "husband" hahahahahaha like she understands what that commitment means hahahahahaha she doesn't even understand what a "pet kitten" is, duh you need to care for something other than yourself hahahaha (rip kitty)"
yeah, jellie, I think he IS holding up the show, just to be a cunt (heh heh). He was probably about to give in and take the money, and got wind that she was pregnant, and is enjoying watching her twist in the wind, as a married woman knocked up with someone else's baby. (Just like her whore mother.)
So I applaud him, and hope he waits until he has to sign papers that little Kumquat Egoiste West isn't his child. And I hope he makes a big public deal out of the paternity test, too! *giggles manically*
I'm so glad I have better things to do at night (aka watch HBBC reruns) than be on here. that's when all the freaks come out
LMAO JACKO TALLY HO!!!!
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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 4:50pm.
go drink more BP swamp water and die bitch. gladys has a song she can play at your funeral parade.
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Is that the kind of thing a mature woman in her 50s who is in a court of law says, foxxy? Sounds legal to me. Totally believable. Also that happened in the Gulf of Mexico, which is not a swamp, also I drink bottled Dasani or Smart Water, neither of which are produced in the gulf or a swamp in LA, please continue to show me what an ignorant cunt you are, I like it. BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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"Vanity’s a business built to fleece the unique. Silicone and stars collide. The rest will fall in line. Just as beautiful as you are, it’s so pitiful what you are.You should have seen this coming all along."
THROW THEM IN THE PIT
So...is Kris H. holding things up for money and to screw with her? As in "you and Kanye need to pay up if you want to be free" ? This is my impression of why he would be doing this, if it is, I am all for it. I hope he gives any money he gets to charity.
Also it make me laugh every time someone calls him her "husband" hahahahahaha like she understands what that commitment means hahahahahaha she doesn't even understand what a "pet kitten" is, duh you need to care for something other than yourself hahahaha (rip kitty)
*comes in thread marching gayly*
I am the very model of a modern Major-General,
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;a
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news,
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus;
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
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" Can I wear the Scream mask? The mask from Scream... when I do you from behind..." ~ Kenny Powers
go drink more BP swamp water and die bitch. gladys has a song she can play at your funeral parade.
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by guest: "But Kourtney has a college degreeeeee!"
She DOES? *eyes widen dramatically*
Well, good for her. And what does she do, exactly, with it? "Run" those "boutiques"?
Submitted by bambam on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 4:29pm.
Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 4:22pm.
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Damn boredas, you said that about her, we got it. She appropriated it and used it talking to some OTHER person, otherwise she didn't reference you at all.
So why?
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Because she is a fucking shit stirrer HERSELF. THAT'S WHY. Because I fucking DESPISE the race card, that's WHY. If you're going to use what I say about you, to someone else, you are implying ME, so therefore I have a right to say something, THAT'S WHY...And if you're gonna be so intimidated by her that when she whines at "why are you calling ME OUT instead of the others"and then you in fact turn tail to appease her, THATS WHY. Capache? I think she's fake, I think she's a racist, I think she is a shit stirrer, she was trying to do it again last night with her clique, and I have no use for her. So with all due respect, stay out of it.
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"Vanity’s a business built to fleece the unique. Silicone and stars collide. The rest will fall in line. Just as beautiful as you are, it’s so pitiful what you are.You should have seen this coming all along."
No, that'd be the train your racist ass drove out of the statio,n calling all "white folk" racists before anyone even said anything because of what a director unrelated to ANYONE but himself said.
I sure as fuck hope MK doesn't post about the former black Miss America who got her panties in a twist and pulled the race card because she sat down in a seat she wasn't suppose to because then we'll be hearing your "all my life I had to fight" Oprah from color purple speach again, threatening people to "Say it to someone's face" because violence has always solved shit, and because thats the advice a fucking attorney would give, and I am juuuuust soooo fucking over your dramatic ass.
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"Vanity’s a business built to fleece the unique. Silicone and stars collide. The rest will fall in line. Just as beautiful as you are, it’s so pitiful what you are.You should have seen this coming all along."