Somebody please get me the President of Germany’s e-mail address, Skype name, Grindr username or something, because I need to let him know about the INJUSTICE that happened on his land Tuesday night. Germany’s greatest creation since Milli Vanilli, Micaela Schaefer, was kicked out of a show at Berlin Fashion Week for not wearing enough clothes. If your brain is trying to process what a “Micaela Schaefer” is, then please click here and educate yourself, your loved ones and those around you on the pride of Germany. Hell, quit your job and teach a daily class at the Learning Annex about this beautiful German flower.
Everybody who knows of Micaela Schaefer (aka me and like three Germans) can pretty much draw her labia by memory, because her clothes are usually so damn tight that you can see the outline of her ovaries. When she’s not wearing coochie-suffocating “clothes” (for lack of a better word), she’s wearing a tampon string as panties and Lisa Frank stickers as pasties. So she was beyond overdressed at Berlin Fashion Week. This is her dead-of-winter look!
We all need to put on a pair of tampon string panties, march to our nearest German embassy (or David Hasselhoff’s house, whichever is closer) and demand that something be done about this! They told that bitch to basically “gets the steppin‘” in German. (And yes, I’m pretty sure they used the phrase “gets the steppin’.” When it comes to phrases, Germany is still stuck in 1997 like me). I mean, Micaela brought a plushie dildo to the show. How can they kick a trick carrying a plushie dildo?