Elin Nordegren Really Is A Genius
When Elin Nordegren looks at the balance on her ATM receipt, more than half-a-dozen zeroes look back at her and sometimes it gets boring looking at all those zeroes. Sometimes you want to see even more zeroes. You want the zeroes to fall off the page and shit. The only thing better than having a checking account full of millions of dollars is having a checking account full of even MORE millions of dollars. And that's what my idol and life icon is going to make happen.
After Elin's marriage to Tiger Woods drowned in a pool side snatch syrup, she got $110 million in the divorce settlement in 2010. Since then Elin has been using her millions to build her Florida dream mansion, and she dated an American billionaire for a while. I guess that didn't work out, because The National Enquirer (via The Sun) says that Elin is back to riding Tiger and he's trying to get her to marry his ass once again. A source says that Tiger proposed to Elin during the holidays and gave her a wedding ring. Tiger is so hard up for Elin to wear the ring that he promised to put an anti-cheating clause in their prenup that states he'll give her $350 million, more than half of his fortune, if he cheats. The source said:
“Tiger didn’t even balk at the demand. Even though his accountants think he’s crazy, he’s ready to sign the pre-nup and set a wedding date. The guy has never recovered from being dumped by Elin. He’s dated a lot of models and bimbos but none of them were more than a one-night stand.”
This is from The Enquirer via The Sun, so this shit is probably about as truthful as an OKCupid profile, but I still need it to be true, because I need to believe that Elin Nordegren is the Swedish goddess of gold diggers. If it is true, then Tiger Woods must think that Elin's vagine is the gold luck charm he needs to start winning again. It will be the easiest $350 million Elin has ever made. Six seconds after that marriage certificate is signed, Elin just has to put a random coochie in front of his face and as he breaks that anti-cheating clause, she'll get on the phone with her contractor to tell him that he can go ahead and encrust the bottom of her pool with diamonds and paint her entire house in liquid platinum.
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The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
My mama always said never go back through the trash looking for a relationship.
I often come here to read the moronic pointless babble of smarmy no-nothings.
Thanks. Five Stars!!!
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You're welcome!!!
And, by the by, it's spelled, "know-nothings," you clever, clever person.
Tiger Woods badly tops tee shot in Abu Dhabi Weds. He might not have $350m if this keeps up:
http://www.golfchannel.com/media/european-tour-011613-abu-dhabi-round1-w...
Submitted by Naughychimp
Well...own.
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I often come here to read the moronic pointless babble of smarmy no-nothings.
Thanks. Five Stars!!!
I like Tiger and really would like to see him smile and happy again. He was stupid cheating on his wife with 2 lovely children, but can't a person change. If he really is serious about getting back together, I hope they have been getting counseling - like an alcoholic going to AA to make amends for his wrongs. Everyone deserves a second chane.
While the Inquirer is mostly a suspect source and whack for the most part, they do have a lot of legit inside sources. In fact they're the ones who dropped the very first report of Tiger's cheating (with the waitress, who's mom got into the tattletaling mix) Albeit a small, corner blip on the cover, it was the truth nonetheless.
Im likely to believe this is more true, than false, and agree that if the love & attraction is still there they may stand chance for a successful reconciliation, with some therapy. That, coupled with the kids/broken home BS, and tripled by his lousy game (a direct result of his personal shit and breakdown of his home/family) absolutely he wants back into the light.
Elin, who can she really trust? With all that money and two kids who have to endure the men coming in and out of the mix. That's a lot of BS too.
But really, at the end of the day who really cares. Cry me a river, ya rich, ingrate bastards.
He needs some confidence, he really shouldn't have to pay 300 million to get a date.. He cheated on her, he didn't eat her babies.
Catch Scratch-you nailed it and so did everyone who pointed out that his father raised him to become an egotistical pig. You got the money, Elin, run!
Ex sex ain't always all that.
Well, maybe she doesn't actually care that much if he cheats or not - she just doesn't want to have the humiliation of having the whole world know about it. That's what a lot of European marriages are about: you're allowed (heck, expected!) to cheat but you've gotta be discreet about it and you can't let it interfere too much with your family life (eg. no missing the kid's first piano recital or bailing on family holidays to be with a side-piece).
Also, maybe she's seen what the world has to offer a formerly-cute 3rd-tier model with 2 kids and thinks that being with a cheating douche doesn't seem so bad, after all. Many of us who settled down when we were young and foxy are shocked to find that when we're single again, we're no longer the hot commodity we were last time we were on the market. I bet there aren't nearly as many super-rich guys throwing huge diamonds and the option of a fancy lifestyle at Elin, these days.
Most of us get over the change in our dating prospects and even learn to appreciate the nice, normal dudes who think we're great, even though we're no longer 26 years old. But some women never get over it and Elin could well be thinking she'd rather live the $400million lifestyle and have a famous guy on her arm than the $100million lifestyle and be alone or *gasp, heaven forbid* a middle class guy with a little paunch and two kids of his own.
Yuck, all the money in the world is not worth losing your peace of mind. He seems like such an uptight insufferable entitled dbag too.
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
I'm all for forgiveness and whatnot, and she is sure making a solid financial choice here. But she better make him take at least 3 rounds of full and complete blood tests before so much as allowing him to touch her.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
This one really has me scratching my head. But, I will say this: IF they have been spending time together as a family and IF they have been receiving top notch therapy, alone and together, and IF they both really feel the attraction that was there initially is still there; THEN Elin must decide if her former husband (a disgrace, in my opinion) can EVER tell the truth; and if he can EVER be trusted. That's a lotta insight for a guy who seems EXACTLY as FRAUDULENT as LANCE ARMSTRONG. They do have beautiful children together and that is a GIANT LOVE BOND...or can be.
But, I think this is just a rumor. Or perhaps wishful thinking on the part of romantic thinkers.
My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens...and weasels.
Tiger hates to lose. He views her as a loss that he can still overcome. If he can convince her to take him back - he wins.
The money would be awesome but really Elin?? Did you not see his side pieces??? Bleh! He had a type.
I knew the initial story was BS! I knew she was trying to beat his ass into the ground!!!
Old mistakes: Don't do them, Elin.
He never recovered from Elin dumping him???? WTF???? Why was he fucking all those whorz (all of them fug or no where near the beauty Elin is) as often as he could?
Is he going to come out as a sex addict and say he's getting treatment? Fuck that and fuck them.
i care not one bit about either of these two persons...if they're back together, then they ceratinly deserve to have each other...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
It's his money I suppose. He can spend it on crap or he can spend it on rehashing a crappy relationship.
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BTW, in her place I'd be thinking REVENGE. If he humiliated me again, he'd pay for it royally.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
You know there is something wrong with the world when you get paid over half a billion dollars for smacking a small ball around a field with a stick.
You also know the world is fucked up when an ugly cunt like woods can get a 'hot' blond (when younger..) simply because he gets half a billion for hitting said ball with said stick.
"The world of heterosexual is a sick and boring life!!" (Aunt Ida)
Why is Tiger so desperate to have back this used up nasty, greedy, evil old-bag stinkfish??!!!!
"Thought all marriages have anti cheating clauses"
Good one Rhanday!
Everybody gets old and tired. They just want to curl up and go to sleep together. Elin's hair needs a break from processing. Yikes!
I guess we know the value of her dignity: $350m. He utterly disrespected her, crapped on their marriage and kids, and exposed her to the complete panel of STDs.
But I doubt this is true (apart from the source). How would such a detail get leaked? He'd just remarry her and they'd be all smiles and happy horseshit.
I'm not even sure an anti-cheating clause with penalties is legally enforceable. I thought all marriages had anti-cheating clauses? haha
If I had Elin's dough, I would just be living the good life.
If this is true, there are two possible options:
1. He's had a religious/moral experience and has repented of his adulterous ways,
or
2. He's dumb as a brick to think he won't get caught again, and is gambling half his fortune on that even though you know she'll be keeping an eagle-eye for any divorceable of cheating with ANYBODY.
I'm betting it's 2.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
He spent his entire life just learning how to hit a ball with a club so that it will land in a hole in a field....of course he doesn't have the emotional capacity to be married.
Lochte, Phelps, Armstrong...all the athletic sons of bitches really lack character. And they're mostly stupid.
Jeezis is he wearing Al Roker's hammydowns?
If she goes back to him, she's just as bad as he is.
I can understand him wanting her back- she is the mother of their children and after dicking around for a while he finally realizes that his shot at them all being a family is to be with her. But why the fuck would she want him back? She'd have to have one eye open all the time, she'd probably still have tons of anger, etc. If I were here I'd keep walking.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Fri, 01/18/2013 - 12:44am.
Submitted by little_rascal on Fri, 01/18/2013 - 12:18am.
thanks, rascal! knew nike didn't drop him but i betcha the sales on the TW product line dramatically dropped and it cost them big to scramble to replace his commercials with others, his personal appearances with other athletes in their stable etc etc
this is not a marriage -- this is an investment owned by several corporations
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Exactly. Nobody wants Tiger to return to form more than the PGA. The revenue he's generated for them from tv alone is more than than they've ever experienced before his arrival. As of yet nobody, no one, has been as profitable for them.
To have Tiger in contention for a title on the last day of a tournament means somewhere around a 25-30 share on television. No golfer is as bankable as Tiger.
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fuck u dan snyder.
Tiger has such messed up relationships with women because his mother was a prostitute that Earl married when she became pregnant. That fact was not lost on Tiger.
She looks pretty happy, but he looks very grim. I think he's pussy whipped!
Ca-crack! Meow.
Nike will never drop Tiger. They have the Tiger Woods Building on their campus that is the centerpiece and is a tribute to a God. It is a museum of his clothing, his shoes, his wins, everything.
I think y'all giving his father more credit than he deserves. His father was hittin on and pickin up women while Tiger was playing tournaments, taking them back to his hotel rooms made possible by his son's participation in tournaments. He was doing this while technically still married to Tiger's mom. He's the one who filled Tiger's head with this air of superiority he has.
After John Thompson (fmr. coach of Georgetown U.) interviewed the father, he didn't diss the man on air but he definitely left the impression he thought Earl Woods was delusional. When Tiger went down he said it wasn't Tiger's game that needed to be worked on, it was Tiger's attitude.
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fuck u dan snyder.
Elin is not gold digging. She is feminizing! : P
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I like to smile, smiling's my favorite! : )
The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
Go Elin go!
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I like to smile, smiling's my favorite! : )
The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
Submitted by little_rascal on Fri, 01/18/2013 - 12:18am.
thanks, rascal! knew nike didn't drop him but i betcha the sales on the TW product line dramatically dropped and it cost them big to scramble to replace his commercials with others, his personal appearances with other athletes in their stable etc etc
this is not a marriage -- this is an investment owned by several corporations
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
both fug
git it gurl
Submitted by stefystef on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 11:03pm.
You know, his father would have NEVER let this happen.
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So true. Of the many jems to come out of the scandal (including the press conference with his mama's fuck-my-life faces and Michael Jordan(?)) the best was the Nike commercial were Tiger's dad is giving him a talking to. It was so weird and so lame.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NTRvlrP2NU
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"Somewhere, Jennifer Love Hewitt is vagazzling the words "FUCK MY LIFE" onto her crotch while deep throating a Pillsbury cookie dough roll".--MK
Talk about dickmatized, Tiger be Poonmatized! She got the Poon Power! What a schmuck. And what a perfect photo, accompanying the article! And how often I see the same thing every day: the artificial wife and the dickless wonder of a husband.
Oh Michael K, I love how you put the madness into perspective for us! Your snarky words of wisdom act as both simile and metaphor to guide me as I deal with lazy self-absorbed twats of all kinds every day.
I've learned to stop clicking on your site constantly throughout the day (sorry about that) and to save it up for the end of another shitty day at the shit farm. That's when I need it most! But I always click on every ad once a day in support!
Plus, it's easy to edit my drunken postings, which you can't say about Facebook!
XOXOX
omfg whatta mistake on both their sorry sex parts (and his wallet).
6 months tops and he's back with what money's done best for him, getting his nut off in dark corners.
she's never ever ever everrrr going to forgive him, no matter what she's says now.
she will make him wear condoms, she will be suspicious of EVERYTHING, she will grill him, he will not be able to assuage her enough but he'll keep trying. then she'll stop having sex with him and he will not be having sex at all .... unless/until he's ready to be losing $350million.
he's a DUMBASS.
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
My broke ass just coming back from shopping at Dollar Tree can not comprehend this kind of wealth at the moment.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 10:25pm.
how much endorsement $$ did Tiger and Kobe lose over the past few years...?
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Foxxy, according to CNBC, Tiger Woods personally lost around $23 million worth of endorsements just in 2010 alone. Companies that dropped him are Gillete, General Motors, AT&T, Gatorade and Accenture (management consulting firm).
Nike didn't drop him.
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Submitted by Migraineuse on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:22pm.
All females belong to the sex class; they are subhuman buckets for male incontinence.
@Caramel - no, no one has ever looked good with that Canary yellow/ or whitish blonde hair. It either causes you to look washed out or old. Also, not only does Tiger look like a miserable, goofy sonofabitch, but he sounds like Kermit when he speaks. His affairs were def the most interesting thing about him 'cause w/o the $$$ no one would look at his ass twice.
She's crazy to even think of going back to him if this story is true. By all accounts, Tiger chased HER and not the other way around in the beginning--she was noticed and sought-after by every single man on the pro tour. After she did marry the douche, she never did anything to embarrass him or bring attention to herself--she was always a class act. He, on the other hand, was and is a total fucking entitled pig.
She would have to be crazy to take him back after all those nasty, skanky looking "ladies" he cheated on her with. And they weren't just one night stands, he was keeping a few in different cities.
Raise your standards, girl..you can afford to.
Submitted by bambam on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 11:42pm.
Right on, BamBam!
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"I swear, sometimes good dick is a thing of evil. It blurs your vision and screws with your brain.- MK, 01/17/13