The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For January 17th!

What his fiancee doesn't know is what happened to his first wife. She amused him at first, but soon he grew tired of her, forgot to feed her, and eventually flushed her dead body down the toilet. - prommom

Runners-up:

"Well, I guess the party was gonna have to end sooner or later. It's been one hell of a ride though." - Jim Bob Duggar's sperm on his and Michelle's decision to "just shake hands" from now on. - City Barbie

Vivid takes their stab at the 2013 Oscar nominees with their first feature "Salmon Fucking in Yemen..." - tsizzle7

Blue Ivy has custom-made Sea Monkeys that hang out in the $82,000 private baby suite with her. - skabazzle

via PIU

Posted by: Michael K

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The CAPTION THIS Contest

Submitted by PeggyOlson on Fri, 01/18/2013 - 1:53pm.

Congrats!

"I'm worried that every time I hurt your feelings that you're gonna start drinking again." Peggy Olson, Mad Men

Submitted by prommom on Fri, 01/18/2013 - 1:06pm.

Thanks, my internet friends, and thanks, MK, and thanky VERN!

Submitted by skabazzle on Fri, 01/18/2013 - 12:21pm.

Yaaay congrats to the other winners!

Submitted by Vern on Fri, 01/18/2013 - 11:30am.

Gwyneth Paltrow would be proud of you weiners!!!!!!!

YAY Prommmmom!

*chanting as always*

Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.

Submitted by OurMissC on Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:41am.

Good job, folks! Congrats!

"...sometimes sucking on the same dick gets real boring." - MK's eloquent cousin

Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 01/18/2013 - 9:55am.

congrats winners!

tsizzle7's cracked me up

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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA

Sucky 12/19

Submitted by dementa on Fri, 01/18/2013 - 5:14am.

After the novelty of legs wore off, Eric and Ariel tried some unusual tactics to spice up their sex life.

*********

I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

Submitted by disadoo on Fri, 01/18/2013 - 1:42am.

#Knock Knock#
Mom: What are you two doing in there?!
Timmy: Nothing Mom! We're not like, doing it or anything!
Mom: Well what's going on? why is the door locked?
Timmy: Nothing's going on! Just.. Just.. give me a minute, we're DOING something!

Submitted by skabazzle on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 11:45pm.

Beyonce finally found a way to tolerate Kim and Kanye.

Submitted by skabazzle on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 11:43pm.

Blue Ivy has custom-made Sea Monkeys that hang out in the $82,000 private baby suite with her.

Submitted by skabazzle on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 11:39pm.

One fish,
Two fish,
Gay fish,
Loo fish.

Submitted by Swallows on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 11:21pm.

After the successful pictures of a naked Lizzie Jagger riding a tuna, the people at the Fish Love Campaign have taken things to a whole new level.

Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 10:51pm.

The first ultrasound of baby Stinkhorn Fungi Kardashian West

(Google it, bitches)

Submitted by BaconSlut on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 10:34pm.

Angie's leg has been o-fish-ally and permanently contained.

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Submitted by PeggyOlson on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 9:54pm.

Once again, Paris Hilton tries to get back into the spotlight and get revenge on Kim Kardashian by luring Gayfish into her lair.

"I'm worried that every time I hurt your feelings that you're gonna start drinking again." Peggy Olson, Mad Men

Submitted by PeggyOlson on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 9:52pm.

The origin of pink tacos are revealed.

"I'm worried that every time I hurt your feelings that you're gonna start drinking again." Peggy Olson, Mad Men

Submitted by PeggyOlson on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 9:50pm.

Gay fish finally proves to the world he's not gay.

"I'm worried that every time I hurt your feelings that you're gonna start drinking again." Peggy Olson, Mad Men

Submitted by OurMissC on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 9:16pm.

Gwyneth and her brother having a Jolie/Haven moment.

Submitted by Andrei on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 8:50pm.

Later, we are going up the stream to spawn and prove that evolution is "just a theory."

Submitted by softcookie on Fri, 01/18/2013 - 2:01am.

Splash: The Muslim Years

Submitted by Stan Hooper on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 8:33pm.

It was just simpler to say Manti Te'o girlfriend was fake than explain this "fuckery" said an unnamed official close to the case.

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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie

Submitted by swordswallower on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 8:21pm.

Maria Sharapova introduces a new sporty gayelle-inspired candy to her Sugarpova line: Sweatish Fish.

Submitted by Marvin on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 8:01pm.

Leanne twats a pic of her angelfish sex night with Eddie. Suck on that Brandi.

Submitted by tsizzle7 on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 8:01pm.

Vivid takes their stab at the 2013 Oscar nominees with their first feature "Salmon Fucking in Yemen..."

Submitted by Holla on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 7:58pm.

It came as a surprise to no one that Pimp Mama Kris had already been training Kanye's spermies for the worlds first in-utero sex tape.

Submitted by Boys for Pele on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 7:55pm.

After losing the third member of their trio, the Blue Man Group decided to revamp their show. Coming soon to a bathhouse near you.

Submitted by Holla on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 7:55pm.

We see now that's it's not Jessica Simpsons fault that she gets so huge when she's knocked up; it's Eric Johnson's.

Submitted by P.T.Bull on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 7:51pm.

I know hollywood re-boots old material, but making a movie about that tasteless joke involving two blind lesbians and a tuna?

Submitted by BekH on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 7:44pm.

The Blue Man Group is still making so much money they decided to get a human fishtank

Submitted by BaconSlut on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 7:40pm.

@tsizzle7

LOL!

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Submitted by tsizzle7 on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 7:37pm.

Dolphin-Safe Sex ...

Submitted by fuqwheat on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 7:26pm.

Kim and Gayfish made a sex tape

Submitted by BaconSlut on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 7:17pm.

The McDonald's "Give Me That Filet-O-Fish" commercials just get weirder and weirder.

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Submitted by GingeMinge on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 7:17pm.

Wesley Snipes says, "Some motherfuckers are always trying to swim upstream."

Submitted by GingeMinge on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 7:13pm.

Ron Tadpole and Jewel Fillet, a tail of star-kist lovers

Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 6:57pm.

Kim and Gayfish having a romantic evening in.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Vanity’s a business built to fleece the unique. Silicone and stars collide. The rest will fall in line. Just as beautiful as you are, it’s so pitiful what you are.You should have seen this coming all along."

Submitted by mygirlsunny on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 6:27pm.

Daryl Hannah and her partner took their slipcover fetish to a whole new level.

Submitted by City Barbie on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 5:54pm.

The rumor that Harry Styles dumped Taylor Swift because she wouldn't put out was partially correct. What didn't get out was that she insisted they wear protection even while just cuddling.

Submitted by prommom on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 5:53pm.

What his fiancee doesn't know is what happened to his first wife. She amused him at first, but soon he grew tired of her, forgot to feed her, and eventually flushed her dead body down the toilet.

Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 5:46pm.

The embryonic contents of Kim's day-glo uterus huddle together and try to figure out a self-abortion plan.

Submitted by City Barbie on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 5:45pm.

Mimi and Nikki call a truce agreeing to stop arguing over who's the bigger fish.

Submitted by Strepsi on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 5:44pm.

Darling it's better
Down where it's wetter
Take it from me....

Submitted by City Barbie on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 5:41pm.

"Well, I guess the party was gonna have to end sooner or later. It's been one hell of a ride though." - Jim Bob Duggar's sperm on his and Michelle's decision to "just shake hands" from now on.

Submitted by Lesbian Sourfruit on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 5:39pm.

American Horror Story: Aquarium

Submitted by dbella on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 5:37pm.

Even the most jaded paparazzi were shocked when they uncovered the Salmon Rushdie/Leonardo DeCarprio sex tape.

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"If it was sea jasper, we all know it was our favorite ethics professor." LaChaylo

Submitted by RandéSleepover on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 5:35pm.

Submitted by Persistent Cat on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 6:07pm.

I hate the misuse of "myself."

Ha! Myself, too.

But I have a new pet peeve: "outlier." Every GD thing these days is an outlier.

Submitted by bkmn on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 5:33pm.

It didn't take long for Kim to design the gayfish fashion line.

Submitted by Shopctd23 on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 5:30pm.

Wanting to relive their Hawaiian baby-making experience minus the baby, a jobless and now-broke(yet svelte) Jessica Simpson seduces fiance Eric Johnson with kinky matching mermaid-sex costumes.