Tip of the day: If you’re going to get knocked up by a dude you’ve only dated for a quick minute, make sure that dude is Jeremy Renner, because he will put you up in his Los Angeles home and take care of all your pregnancy needs. Would you expect anything less Hawkeye?
Jeremy has said before that he’s a really private person and he totally behaved like a really private person the other night when he openly blabbed to Eva Longoria about becoming a father for the first time. Two witnesses tell UsWeekly that on the smoking patio at the Golden Globes on Sunday night, they overheard Jeremy talking to Eva Longoria about how his ex-piece is carrying their baby in her uterus. Jeremy is shooting a movie out of CA right now, but told Eva that he’s going to “fly in when her water breaks.”
A source tells UsWeekly that Jeremy and the future mama j’e’e of his child only dated for a little while and it wasn’t serious at all. When Grumpy Cat’s separated-at-birth twin found out that he humped a baby into his ex-girlfriend, he put her up in his house. She’s going to give birth to Hawkeye Jr. next month.
Well, this is one way to completely drown those gay rumors in virile jizz. Congrats to Jeremy Renner for learning an important life lesson: sometimes hetero bareback fucking leads to a baby. Benicio Del Toro, Kimbo Stewart, Hugh Grant and January Jones welcome you to their club!