Lance Armstrong Admits To Oprah That He Doped Up, Because NOBODY Lies To Oprah!

He's not sorry. He's a selfish SOB hoping to cut down on the lawsuits. Oprah is a desperate fool. No one watched OWN. She misses the attention. The interview is all hype and no real info. I hope he gets it from someone he's crossed.

Submitted by vsminimoose on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 12:10pm.
Ok - someone just seriously attacked me at work (via email) because I said I was unable to give money for a co-workers baby shower....I said that after she has the baby I might have the scratch to get her something off of her registry.

Bitch countered with this:
"S, I appreciate the fact that financial times are tough but even $5 would help us out for a gift for M. I know you donate quite a bit to the ASPCA and Detroit Dog Rescue on a monthly basis so this shouldn't put you too far back where money is concerned."

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People shouldn't have M's if they cannot afford M. I would have given a self made elaborate envelope containing a used bubblegum. Should come in handy once M. lives to grow teeth. Congrats on your giving to dog shelters et al, these poor creatures certainly don't have D. showers. Fuck that patronizing greedy bitch.

Do you have any trusted colleagues to share her shame with? I sincerely hope so.

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Auri sacra fames

Submitted by Poopele on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 7:16pm.

The great thing about this is now the f*cking Tour'de france is just a bunch of scrawny europeans riding around on bicycles again. Ha Ha. Who gives a shit now, France? Nobody, that's who.
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For some in Europe the Tour always is a little consolation after the exitement of major football/"soccer" events. At least sometimes the bikers fall off and land in hedges...

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Auri sacra fames

Why even give this criminal cunt a stage like this? The whole world knows he has been cheating, bullying and lying for yonks, he should just be erased from the world and never be mentioned again. Then, maybe the O. needs a boost in ratings? The mind boggles.

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Auri sacra fames

Baconnie how many do you have? Have a Norwegian Forest cat... And he's dumb as- a rock... But runs the show..

You must have gone hard on that Chinese swimmer that swam faster than M. Phelps in the 200,,,

the difference being Lance headed the most sophisticated dopping ring and stole as much as he raised in terms of funding..

The Olympic kids do as they are told.. Jmo

@vob

I just get my drawers in a twist over athletes that use drugs etc. to get ahead. My parents worked their asses off to support my swimming life. And it was always naturally. Period. I don't respect cheaters.

That is all. Gotta groom the ketteh! And by kitteh, I mean the Persian. Not a Kardashian Krotch. ;)

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Baconie Goodness?

What in the fuck of all assholery hell. Way to kick every kid and parent in the nuts for waking up at ungodly hours to put some work in.

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You know if he hadn't been such an abosulte prick about it all these years - suing people, trashing their reputations, livelihoods, families - I might give him a little, very little, credit for admitting it now. But sorry Lance, you dug your own grave, now lie down in it and shut up.

if everybody on your team is doping but you, and you are coming in last in every race, you better believe you are getting fired or you are learning to shoot up, fast.

i'm sure Lance is an asshole and all, but it seems to me that the culture of sports is that everybody cheats, and they all pray they don't get caught. then the Big Guy becomes the sacrificial goat - everybody pins their sins on him and ties him to a tree to be eaten by the wolves at night, outside of the village. sins absolved.

my dad, who was in the Korean War, told me "when you see people next to you get shot, you might feel bad for a second, but mostly you are glad it isn't you."

odd thing to tell a five year old, i admit, but good advice nonetheless.

(i kid).

but seriously, my only connection to Armstrong is the "livestrong.org" website, where I have gotten a lot of great nutritional information. as long as they don't shut that down, i'm cool.

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God don't like ugly.

that was so brave of lance to confess to an egomaniac like oprah.

SO BRAVE.

Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 5:01pm.
somebody's analysis of his strategery -- oh look the statute of limitations on his perjury has expired *eyeroll*
http://sports.yahoo.com/news/why-is-lance-armstrong-admitting-he-used-pe...
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*light goes on* Confirmation of doucheness. Public opinion does not expire so quickly.

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░

This made the news in Austin last night. Reporters were camped outside his house hoping to get a shot of Oprah, but they met at a hotel. The good thing is that this will only help the Livestong organization, since around town Lance is know as a douche and an asshole. His ex-wife Kristin is the sweetest woman though (and a good writer), but assholes always end up married to nice people.

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"Somewhere, Jennifer Love Hewitt is vagazzling the words "FUCK MY LIFE" onto her crotch while deep throating a Pillsbury cookie dough roll".--MK

The great thing about this is now the f*cking Tour'de france is just a bunch of scrawny europeans riding around on bicycles again. Ha Ha. Who gives a shit now, France? Nobody, that's who.

Stop. Nothing is confirmed yet. O wouldn't give it up before it airs! She wants viewers! And I bet they won't get to the point until the second part anyway, cuz they wanna milk it. Duh.

It's gonna be a lot of hype for nothing, like usual. He probably won't admit to anything.

THROW HIM IN THE PIT WITH BLOHAN!!

Most boring "celebrity" ever. And I mean ever. (Angrily) This slot could have had a Phoebe Price update or sighting, MK. Harrumph!

Submitted by tonicbitch on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 5:14pm.
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Yup. That said, at the end of the day still I'd rather be poor and myself than rich and a Kardashian.
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I think alot of us share those sentiments. Lmao

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It's just annoying that people seem to give anyone a pass these days if they are rich or famous.
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Karma doesn't.

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"Vanity’s a business built to fleece the unique. Silicone and stars collide. The rest will fall in line. Just as beautiful as you are, it’s so pitiful what you are.You should have seen this coming all along."

Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 4:40pm.

Oh that! I agree with you on. It's a pain in the ass when you see people working their asses off doing something that actually makes a difference get shafted(those are the ones people should look up, not fucking Lance Armstrong) while these "performers" don't contribute nearly as much yet get paid by the fistfuls..Fuck college, fuck an education, when all you have to do is suck the right dick in order to become a talentless lying cunt.
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Yup. That said, at the end of the day still I'd rather be poor and myself than rich and a Kardashian. It's just annoying that people seem to give anyone a pass these days if they are rich or famous.

Submitted by SANS FARDS on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 3:53pm.
Submitted by REDMOND on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 3:24pm.

I'd tell her to eat a royal bag of fuck.

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This response is, quite simply, beautiful.

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Thanks babe! I office place bullies get me fired up. haha

somebody's analysis of his strategery -- oh look the statute of limitations on his perjury has expired *eyeroll*

http://sports.yahoo.com/news/why-is-lance-armstrong-admitting-he-used-pe...

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

Submitted by tonicbitch on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 4:33pm.
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Oh that! I agree with you on. It's a pain in the ass when you see people working their asses off doing something that actually makes a difference get shafted(those are the ones people should look up, not fucking Lance Armstrong) while these "performers" don't contribute nearly as much yet get paid by the fistfuls..Fuck college, fuck an education, when all you have to do is suck the right dick in order to become a talentless lying cunt.

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"Vanity’s a business built to fleece the unique. Silicone and stars collide. The rest will fall in line. Just as beautiful as you are, it’s so pitiful what you are.You should have seen this coming all along."

Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 4:06pm.

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They should lock Blohan up and throw away the key too. Lance crafted his image as an inspiration and motivator for a lot of cancer patients and he was able to profit off of that image. His actions have hurt a lot of people and I do think he should suffer some sort of consequence for that. It's not like I would personally lose sleep over it if he doesn't, but it is kind of demoralizing to see things like this occur and how society increasingly panders to "celebrities" of the lowest common denominator.

I never got his die-hard fans who acted like he was the Second Coming or something.

He doesn't seem like a very nice person at all. I wish he had to return ALL the money he won.

"after years of denying that he was shooting up performance enhancing drugs even though everybody could practically see the needle sticking out of his ass"
^^
THIS is what's wrong with so many people today! Ugh, lying liars who lie tell.
Submitted by kate773 on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 4:10pm.
He purposely tried to destroy people's lives, when he KNEW they were telling the truth.
^^
He is a scumbag. My mother in law does this to me on a regular basis, she's scum too.

"I'll only have to give back SOME of the money when they catch me lying. And I'll get to meet Gayle King! Shoot my ass up and pull my old Huffy out of my mom's garage. Let's do this!"
^^
This is the perfect comic remedy for their crap and why Dlisted keeps me alive when the jerks and liars in life, including my own family, are in a death spiral. This means you, you crazy, delusional mother in law, who always bragged that she knew Lance's first wife, from a long time ago. Yeah, she helped him dope too. Hahahahahahahahahaha frauds, liars, you're in perfect company skanky ho, drugging liars.
"Though there's pain in my chest, I still wish you the best with a F*ck You MIL!"

Submitted by vsminimoose on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 12:10pm.
Ok - someone just seriously attacked me at work (via email) because I said I was unable to give money for a co-workers baby shower....I said that after she has the baby I might have the scratch to get her something off of her registry.

Bitch countered with this:
"S, I appreciate the fact that financial times are tough but even $5 would help us out for a gift for M. I know you donate quite a bit to the ASPCA and Detroit Dog Rescue on a monthly basis so this shouldn't put you too far back where money is concerned."

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Hope I'm not too late for a response to this but this actually pissed me off. I would, in a professional, but firm manner, tell this woman that while she may know where I make monthly donations, she does not have access to my bank account nor does she have first-hand knowledge of any other financial obligations I may have. And that using knowledge of said donations that are none of her business in the first place as a way to get me to donate to HER cause is completely inappropriate and unappreciated.

That's the professional, yet to the point, way of handling it. If this continues and you have a superior you can go to, then do it.

"Shoot my ass up and pull my old Huffy out of my mom's garage. Let's do this!"

Seriously, I cackled out loud when reading this. Hahhaaa!

I'm thrilled that this sanctimonious prick is finally admitting he cheated after years and years and YEARS of lying. Dude leaves his wife who stood by him when he was really sick, he leaves Sheryl Crow when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, he announces to the world that he had a baby with his girlfriend the "natural way"...guy is just a prick in so many ways. It's funny how Lance lovers who were so utterly outraged this past year when the shit really hit the fan are nowhere to be heard now...

I care less about the guy actually doping as I do about the way he went after people who questioned him. He purposely tried to destroy people's lives, when he KNEW they were telling the truth.

Fuck Lance Armstrong. All the good he did for cancer research means nothing now that we know what kind of guy he really is. For all we know, he used his association with Livestrong only to bolster his rep and try to keep himself untouchable.

Submitted by tonicbitch on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 3:47pm.
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Eh, I think Lindsay Lohan trumps him in the lying and legality department, if anyone deserves to be made an example of its her, only because she's broken the law so many times, she should in fact be in jail, example or not.
People truly seemed pissed about it to me. Then again some people like to make mountains when they really don't care because they like to feel outraged or offended by something, idk, whatever the case may be, let em have at it. My heros have never been atheletes, I wasn't one of the ones that bought the "LiveStrong" bracelet, the closet to relevance he ever got to me was dating Sheryl Crowe, and that's only because I like some of her earlier music, other than that it wasn't me he affected, he didn't affect anyone I know, and I never looked up to him as a rolemodel so he didn't let me down in any way. And I'm not shocked he doped. What he did may be bullshit, but it just doesn't spark the anger, outrage, and let down some others seem to feel.*shrugs*
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"Vanity’s a business built to fleece the unique. Silicone and stars collide. The rest will fall in line. Just as beautiful as you are, it’s so pitiful what you are.You should have seen this coming all along."

M o o n that spells moon.

So I guess time will tell if a rich, famous white dude goes to jail for international drug trafficking and perjury.

Now if only someone would show us the real Bono, Jolie and Pitt. Because you know, the louder people scream about their philanthropy the more skeletons they have in their closets. Lance is a great example of this. Like the others, he was treated as something close to a deity by his fans and the media.

Submitted by REDMOND on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 3:24pm.

I'd tell her to eat a royal bag of fuck.

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This response is, quite simply, beautiful.

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A Lannister always pays his debts.

For some reason this story makes me mad and it takes a lot to make me mad. He was showered with so many accolades over the years and everyone and their dog was wearing a LIVESTRONG wristband at one time. He should feel beyond ashamed. I don't know why, but this bothers me more than a mass murder. I'll be watching that Oprah and I hope to not feel like The Hulk when I watch it.

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www.dungeonhordes.com

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Submitted by oh dave on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 3:31pm.
I wonder if this is supposed to be a journalistic coup for Oprah? Waiting until someone is completely busted and then paying them to admit what everyone already knows seems more Geraldo.
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I'm pretty sure Oprah stopped being a serious journalist like, 75 years ago. Celebrities who want to confess shit the rest of us already know go to one of three people - Diane Sawyer, Barbara Walters or Oprah. Nothing new.

Submitted by que cochina on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 3:15pm.
Submitted by Craigypants on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 2:45pm.

Where do you go when you have nowhere else to turn to try and persuade public opinion and rebuiled your shattered reputation? Oprah Fucking Winfrey

Thank you, Craigy. I've always felt a pariah when I tell somebody I don't like Oprah. I've always found her delivery phony, and the fact that she is canonized by pretty much the whole world makes me crazy. Only on D Listed can one find like minded bitches!

Too right!
I've never understood her appeal. I guess people love anyone who gives them free stuff, not that Oprah paid for any of it, she is just another commercial whore who will bow to any company that pays or donates their shit. I could never watch her show, it was 15 minutes of commercial, 15 minutes of Oprah talking about herself and 30 minutes of the audiance clapping a sucking her ass.

he should offer to have his other nut removed (by tying it to a cycle at the start of a race) and own the sacless wonder he truly is.
-i'd believe him sorry then.

*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*

"Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 2:16pm."

Eh, I don't know if I'd call it a personal outrage. It's more that people are just sick and tired of seeing people committing fraud and getting away with it because they are rich and famous. I do think it's a bigger deal if he gets away with lying under oath because of the precedent that sets. Obviously he's not the first and won't be the last to do this sort of thing, but I'm okay with making an example out of him because he's an asshole.

Don't feel sorry for this fugly egotistical prick at all. He's only coming clean because there is so much evidence that he doped that it isn't even funny. Never could stand him.

Damn dude. I mean, it's no surprise but damn. That's a lot of lying...a creepy "Who the fuck are you??" level of lying.

Personally, I think the various cocktails of sketchy performance enhancers are what gave him cancer. I remember when I was little and Lyle Alzado said he was sure doping caused his brain cancer. Didn't Lance also have cancer of the brain as well as balls? That bitch is lucky to be alive.

Submitted by oh dave on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 3:31pm.
I wonder if this is supposed to be a journalistic coup for Oprah? Waiting until someone is completely busted and then paying them to admit what everyone already knows seems more Geraldo.
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Well It's definitely a ratings grab for her struggling cable network. That's why she is out promoting an interview.

Ah, the cornered sociopath/megalomaniac, "tragically" 'fessing up about his "tragedy" because there's nowhere else to go and maybe he can convince people that he was the victim. And there's Oprah enabling him! Nice.

So now Oprah is specializing in insanos rationalizing their crap behavior? First Rhianna, and now Armstrong! Who's next, the killers from Tuscon and Aurora? Jesus Christ.

I wonder if this is supposed to be a journalistic coup for Oprah? Waiting until someone is completely busted and then paying them to admit what everyone already knows seems more Geraldo.

http://13-mitred-abbots.tumblr.com/

There is such an insane amount of doping in they cycling world to begin with that you almost have to question when anyone wins anything if it was legit or not.

Kind of like when a Chinese gymnast wins an Olympic medal and she looks like she is 7 fucking years old...there is always a side eye of suspicion and rightfully so.

Submitted by vsminimoose on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 12:10pm.
Ok - someone just seriously attacked me at work (via email) because I said I was unable to give money for a co-workers baby shower....I said that after she has the baby I might have the scratch to get her something off of her registry.

Bitch countered with this:
"S, I appreciate the fact that financial times are tough but even $5 would help us out for a gift for M. I know you donate quite a bit to the ASPCA and Detroit Dog Rescue on a monthly basis so this shouldn't put you too far back where money is concerned."

How can I even respond to this?!

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I'd tell her to eat a royal bag of fuck. I don't give a shit if you get a massage once a month and feel you can't chip in right now. It's none of the sanctimonious bitch who sent you that email's business. Fuck her.

Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 3:07pm.
and dehydration death like Billy whatsahoozit

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Nah Vince is still very much alive, Foxxy. He beat up a tranny hooker and went to jail for a spell is all...
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Did he do time for that!?

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I don't think so. Just checked it WAS a girl hooker with a real va-jay-jay. She apparently bit his tongue and wouldn't let go so he went ape shit on her ass.

He pokes fun of the arrest on the commercial by using the little Shticky to clean his shirt before they take his mugshot. kills me.

I always had a gut feeling that this guy was a douche, i'm glad the truth finally came out.

Submitted by Craigypants on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 2:45pm.

Where do you go when you have nowhere else to turn to try and persuade public opinion and rebuiled your shattered reputation? Oprah Fucking Winfrey

Thank you, Craigy. I've always felt a pariah when I tell somebody I don't like Oprah. I've always found her delivery phony, and the fact that she is canonized by pretty much the whole world makes me crazy. Only on D Listed can one find like minded bitches!

Submitted by idiots drive me loco on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 2:28pm.

If you're going to let the people that doped (AKA, all MLB players from an certain era) in the HOF, then you need to let Rose in. IMO, what Bonds did was worse than Rose.
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While I agree that if you let one in you might as well let others with similar behavior in too, there's no question who's worse and it's Rose.

Both men had stats worthy of HOF induction and could retire on their records alone. In Rose's case there was a well established precedent, that's what the movie Eight Men Out chronicled.

Baseball has a zero tolerance rule, no gambling on the game. What Bonds did was done as a singular entity, any outcome he affected could only be done by him.

Pete Rose managed a team, therefore he was in a position to make personnel and strategic decisions affecting the outcome of games. That was the incriminating point of the official report, they may not have come right out and said so but they hinted, heavily at that, that it was exactly what they had on him.

I'm not trying to change your mind about it, everybody has their biases. But in my opinion there's no way what Bonds did was worse than Rose.

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fuck u dan snyder.

Submitted by Meatblocks on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 3:03pm.

point blank: he stole millions of dollars and ruined the careers of countless others.
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Fuckin A Meaty!

I'd love to stand on one side of the room, get up to full speed and drop kick his one good nut like I was kicking a 56 yarder

Vsmini: don't let those fuckers bully you. My old ifice buddy had a nice reply to stuff like that.:

"I would if I could, but I can't. So sorry."