Stacy Keibler Is Breaking Records

January 14, 2013 / Posted by:

File this under: Some Unprecedented Shit!

Usually when awards season ends, George Clooney gently puts a pink slip in his leased piece’s hand, gives her the “What’s in your backpack speech?” speech from Up In The Air and then tells her to leave her keys with the office manager. But he didn’t do that to Stacy Keibler after last year’s awards season ended and she even stuck around all through 2012. George’s family and friends even learned Stacy’s first AND last name. They never do that. Stacy not only sashayed through 2012 without getting fired by George, but she’s also going to be his walking accessory during this awards season too.

As Sarah Larson (aka my favorite member of the Cloon Poon Club) let a drunk frat boy do orange Jell-O shots off of her stomach at a Golden Globes viewing party in the back room of Dave & Busters in the San Fernando Valley, Stacy posed next to George Clooney on the red carpet last night. Bitches had to pull out their eyeballs, dip them in Windex and put them back on, because they couldn’t believe what they were seeing. Even Julianna Marguiles seemed taken aback over the fact that George hired Stacy for another year (or maybe Julianna just had gas, that’s probably it).

Stacy achieved the impossible. She won the Hunger Games of trophy girlfriends two years in a row. Guinness Book of World Records needs to pick up a phone and call Stacy, because bitch is making history.

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