FYI: Bradley Cooper And Jennifer Lawrence Are Not Doing It

January 14, 2013 / Posted by:

Over the weekend there was a rumor that in a darkened conference room somewhere in L.A., Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence were whispering sweet nothings like, “I’ll give you 5 staged photo-ops a month if you say that the sex is mind-boggling in an interview with Cosmo,” into each other’s ears as their publicists negotiated their relationship contract. B. Coop is beard-less after breaking with Zoe Saldana and Jennifer Lawrence recently broke up with the boy from About A Boy, so a rumor claimed that they were rebounding with each other. But at the Golden Globes last night, B. Coop denied it to Stepford robot Nancy O’Dell:

“We’ve done two movies together. If it didn’t happen by now, it’s not going to happen. No no no no no. Not even close. First of all I could be her father. I love her to death. She’s amazing but no.”

If B. Coop was dating Jennifer Lawrence, he’d have a giant red mark on his face from Victor Garber slapping him down. Victor Garber is supposed to be B. Coop’s go-to-rebound piece after he shaves his latest beard off. Not Jennifer Lawrence! And I think I’m the only one who actually liked Jennifer Lawrence’s speech. I mean, she quoted First Wives Club! That made up for the fact that she wore a dress that made her titties look like two melting snow cones.

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