Olivia Wilde’s marriage to that Italian prince dude ended about a year ago and Jason Sudeikis’ marriage to his first wife ended about two years ago, but I guess they’re both ready to try that marriage thing again. Jason gave Olivia a hitchin’ ring during the holidays and after she said yes, they celebrated by putting on their track suits (with holes cutout for their genitals), tying on their running shoes and then fucking like Kenyan marathon runners. Olivia and Jason have been fucking like Kenyan marathon runners for a little over a year now. Olivia went on Twitter this morning to confirm that Jason will be her second husband:
Thanks for all the sweet congratulatory love, friends! And may I compliment your savvy use of that nifty engagement ring emoticon.
It felt like Olivia’s divorce from that Italian prince dude was only finalized six seconds ago. Don’t hos know that it’s okay to hump each other naked without being married? Don’t let my abuelita’s words get to you. You won’t ride on an orgasm wave to hell if you let the dick in before marriage. But then again, Jason’s EMT dick did give CPR to Olivia’s coochie and brought it back to life. Oh well, he’ll make a perfect, and brief, second husband.