Golden Globes Open Post: Hosted By The Japanese Cojo

January 13, 2013 / Posted by:

I am still seven kinds of sick, so there I won’t be drunk blogging the Golden Globes (yes, I thought of Christina Hendricks while typing that and yes, I liked it) tonight. Although, I could down three jugs of NyQuil and just type “pleasefuckingtakemelordendmyaches” over and over again during my liveblog. That would be way more interesting that my past live blogs. Anyway, the Golden Globes are here and I was trying to find a picture of Cojo for this open post, but I couldn’t find one. I don’t even think Cojo is there. How can the Golden Globes happen without Cojo?!

In his place is Japanese musician type Yoshiki Hayashi who wrote the Golden Globes theme song, or something like that. I know, he’s no Cojo, but if you put your nose to your screen, you will smell the faint scent of honey-infused unicorn farts just like Cojo! So his ass will do.

Happy Golden Globe-ing, everyone! Have a few dozen drinks for me. If Anne Hathaway doesn’t win, I’ll see you in the safe house since she’ll make all of us pay if she doesn’t have her hands around that golden dome butt plug trophy tonight.

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