Because sometimes burning hundred dollar bills in their platinum and moon rock fireplace gets boring, so Beyonce and Jay-Z find other ways to waste loads of cash. To celebrate the birth of the chosen one, Beyonce and Jay-Z spend $200,000 on gifts and a party that I’m sure Blue Ivy Carter will remember for the rest of her life (SPOILER ALERT: Her 1-year-old brain already forgot about it).
The Sun says that Bey-Z invited all of their friends and family to Blue Ivy’s birthday party to show them how much she’s grown in a year, but mostly to show off all their loads of fucking money! Jay-Z and Beyonce spent $95,000 on the finest pink and white roses even though Blue Ivy would’ve been happy with a blue carnation from the grocery store. Jay-Z and Beyonce also spent around $30,000 on princess costumes and jewelry for the child guests even though they would’ve been happy with a plastic bag full of 99 Cent Store candy and plastic whistles. The adult guests got concert tickets and gold pens with Blue Ivy’s name engraved on them.
And for Blue Ivy’s gift, Beyonce and Jay-Z gave her an $80,000 custom made Barbie that was covered in diamonds. Some source said this to The Sun about the birthday party that cost more than your student loans:
“Nothing’s been too big or expensive for their little princess. They wanted her first birthday to set the tone for the rest of her life. They work hard for their money and the first thing they want to spend it on is their baby girl. It’s hard to imagine how they can top this next year — or what her Sweet Sixteen will be like.”
This is some Rich Kids of Instagram shit. If Blue Ivy Carter is like every other kid (she isn’t), then in a few months that $80,000 Barbie will have a butch lezz buzz cut, her body will be covered in tattoos made with markers, she’ll only have one leg, she’ll have dog bite marks on her face from being a dog chew toy and all those diamonds that once covered her will be at the bottom of Blue Ivy’s stomach. Don’t worry, BIC will poop out those diamonds along with the other diamonds and piece of gold she shits out on the regular.