“Sorry to disappoint. But no baby on the way here” is what 25-year-old Evan Rachel Wood tweeted back in November after the paparazzi took pictures (see below) of her looking like a fetus just moved it and all of its things into her uterus. But a fetus was squatting in her womb at the time and apparently Evan Rachel Wood didn’t know it. ERW said on Twitter (via People) today that she and her husband Jamie Bell will have a human ball of slobber in their arms in a few months.
Remember when i said, “No baby on the way here” Well, I didnt know there actually was! pic.twitter.com/wnig1nRK Thanks for all your warm wishes. We are very happy. I’m gonna be a mama!
That baby is going to the biggest hipster baby who ever hipstere’d. They will name it Quadrophenia Kale Wood Bell and its cries will sound like a Melody’s Echo Chamber song and it will wear floral culottes, ironically.
I know Evan Rachel Wood is married to Billy Elliot and is now knocked up, but I still look at her name and instantly think to myself, “Gurrrl, you fucked Marilyn Manson.”