While accepting the award for Best Singing While Ugly Crying in a Movie at the Critics’ Choice Awards last night, Anne Hathaway (or as my mom calls her, “Anne Haddaway,” which always makes me think of this) let a trick know that she’s not happy that they spelled her name wrong. In the nominees video package that played before Eddie Redmayne announced that she won, Anne’s name was spelled as “Ann.” Ann grabbed the trophy and set a bitch right:
“This is a bittersweet moment for me because I have this award, but you spelled my name wrong. It is with an “e.” It’s probably in bad taste for me to point that out here, but um… I’m sorry I don’t mean to be gauche.”
You might think that AnnE was just joking, but AnnE wasn’t joking. As soon as she left the Critics’ Choice Awards, she found herself a voodoo witch to cast a black magic spell on the not-knowing dumb whore who screwed her name up. They will never forget the “e” ever again. Every time they sit on the toilet to do a #2, they’re going to shit out e-shaped poops. Every time they spit, they’re going to spit up e-shaped saliva drops. Every time they pour Cheerios into their cereal bowl, they’re going to pour out e-shaped CheeriEs. Every time they turn on the TV, the only channel that will come up will be E! Every time their weed man shows up for a delivery, he’ll open up his bag and say, “Sorry, the only thing I’ve got right now is E.” They’ll never escape the “e.“
And on a different note, I finally saw Les Misercryingandsinging. The little boy who played Gavroche should be getting all of the awards instead of Ann “Don’t Forget The E, Bitch” Hathaway. He did the best impersonation of Kingston Rossdale I’ve ever seen.