The Deep Fried Love Affair Of Our Time Is Over

January 11, 2013 / Posted by:

The man who looks like Sam Merlotte after a 10-day meth binge no longer has the key to the attic that Daddy Spears locks Brit Brit in every night, because their engagement is over. Damn you, blind items, for being right sometimes. TMZ, People and Radar all say that when Brit Brit wakes up tomorrow morning with the AM farts, like she does every morning, she won’t be able to dutch oven Jason Trawick, because he won’t be there. That’s the saddest part of all.

TMZ says that Jason’s paws have also been ripped off of Brit Brit’s checking account, because he’s no longer one of her conservators. Brit Brit’s lawyers were in court this afternoon to get a judge to make Daddy Spears the sole conservator. I don’t even know if Jason is an agent anymore, but Brit Brit recently moved away from his agency to another. Some source says that it was a “friendly” breakup and they’re going to stay friends. Radar says that Jason has already moved all of his shit out of Casa de Frapp. Daddy Spears wrote a statement, grabbed Brit Brit’s hand, made her sign it and then released it to People:

“Jason and I have decided to call off our engagement. I’ll always adore him and we will remain great friends.”

And Jason said:

“As this chapter ends for us a new one begins. I love and cherish her and her boys and we will be close forever.”

So Brit Brit is single and might be heading to Las Vegas to move her lips and barely wave her arms in a sit down show. I really hope that Brit Brit goes to Vegas and I really hope that Daddy Spears chooses the current adonis of Vegas, Carrot Top, as her next leased fiance. Because Carrot Top will definitely appreciate her deconstructed Cheeto earrings (that’s what’s on her ears, right?) and I really need to see pictures of her nibbling on his mop after mistaking his hair for curly fries.

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