Thursday, January 10th 2013

None For You, Leonardo DiCaprio, Ben Affleck And Kathryn Bigelow!

Leonardo DiCatchAHo must have screwed Oscar's girlfriend (second revelation of the day: I guess Oscar only dates Victoria's Secret Angels too), because it still hates his ass. Emma Stone and Seth McFarlane announced the nominations for the Oscars this morning and there was nothing for Leo, which is why he's probably eating his feelings in a supermodel's crotch right now. And Steven Spielberg must have lube all over his peen, because it was a non-stop handjob party for Lincoln.

As expected, Lincoln got all of the nominations (12 to be exact) including Best Director for Steven Spielberg, Best Actor for Daniel Day-Lewis and Best Supporting Actress for Sally Field. Oscar showed some love for Argo, but they also ripped off Ben Affleck's man wig, tossed it in the gutter and told him to run after it, because he was left out of the Best Director category. So was Kathryn Bigelow even though Zero Dark Thirty was nominated for Best Picture. And squatting out a Botox-laced stream of piss onto Zac Efron got Nicole Kidman shit. And taking a finger up the ass got Matthew McConaughey shit too (but I'm sure the finger that went up his ass got a little shit on it, sorry).

Most of the nominations are after the jump (click here for the full list). A couple of facts, 9-year-old Hush Pussy from Beasts of the Southern Wild is the youngest Best Actress nominee ever and 85-year-old Emmanuelle Riva is the oldest. And another fact, if Anne Hathaway doesn't win, we're all in danger, girl, because she will lose more than her mind. JUMP!

Best Picture
Beasts of the Southern Wild
Silver Linings Playbook
Zero Dark Thirty
Lincoln
Les Miserables
Life of Pi
Amour
Django Unchained
Argo

Best Actor
Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln
Denzel Washington, Flight
Hugh Jackman, Les Miserables
Bradley Cooper, Silver Linings Playbook
Joaquin Phoenix, The Master

Best Actress
Naomi Watts, The Impossible
Jessica Chastain, Zero Dark Thirty
Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook
Emmanuelle Riva, Amour
Quvenzhané Wallis, Beasts of the Southern Wild

Best Supporting Actor
Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained
Phillip Seymour Hoffman, The Master
Robert De Niro, Silver Linings Playbook
Alan Arkin, Argo
Tommy Lee Jones, Lincoln

Best Supporting Actress
Sally Field, Lincoln
Anne Hathaway, Les Miserables
Jacki Weaver, Silver Linings Playbook
Helen Hunt, The Sessions
Amy Adams, The Master

Best Original Song
"Before My Time," Chasing Ice
"Pi’s Lullaby," Life of Pi
"Suddenly," Les Miserables
"Everybody Needs A Best Friend," Ted
"Skyfall," Skyfall

Best Animated Feature Film
Frankenweenie
Pirates! Band of Misfits
Wreck-It Ralph
Paranorman
Brave

Best Foreign Language Film
Austria: Amour
Chile: No
Canada: War Witch
Denmark: A Royal Affair
Norway: Kontiki

Best Director
David O. Russell, Silver Linings Playbook
Ang Lee, Life of Pi
Steven Spielberg, Lincoln
Michael Haneke, Amour
Benh Zeitlin, Beasts of the Southern Wild

Best Original Screenplay
John Gatins, Flight
Mark Boal, Zero Dark Thirty
Quentin Tarantino, Django Unchained
Michael Haneke, Amour
Wes Anderson and Roman Coppola, Moonrise Kingdom

Best Adapted Screenplay
Lucy Alibar and Benh Zeitlin, Beasts of the Southern Wild
Chris Terrio, Argo
Tony Kushner, Lincoln
David O. Russell, Silver Linings Playbook
David Magee, Life of Pi

Best Cinematography
Seamus McGarvey, Anna Karenina
Robert Richardson, Django Unchained
Claudio Miranda, Life of Pi
Janusz Kaminski, Lincoln
Roger Deakins, Skyfall

Posted by: Michael K


Gardening Girl's picture

I LOVED Avatar! It was so pretty! *distracted by shiney light*

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

SANS FARDS's picture

Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 12:41pm.
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 12:28pm.

Submitted by TOPANGA on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 11:47am.

Except Quvenzhané Wallis is "of color" and I heard Denzel was actually very good. I don't think that's a fair statement... this time anyways...

not just her, Miss Jane. "of color" don't just mean Black folks anymore -- Riva ;-)

unless one saw "Flight" and more than one of the other nominated performances i don't understand how one can determine if Denzel's or any other actor's nomination was "token" or not. speaks volumes when that race card is thrown on the table [and then co-signed] without any analysis of Denzel's or any other nominee's performance...

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I thought Denzel was awesome in Flight. Not quite as good as Daniel Day Lewis, who is probably a shoo-in for that category but Denzel, as usual, is THE MAN.
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A Lannister always pays his debts.

Foxxy Brown's picture

Submitted by TOPANGA on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 1:13pm.

thanks for taking time to write the explanation. fwiw agree with your bottom line. for example, no one from "Red Hook Summer" was nominated. i think the man who played the pastor was incredible (embarrased i don't know actor's name)

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

SANS FARDS's picture

ba-buttons, I was surprised that Hurt Locker won best picture. But then I thought, maybe it was to screw over Avatar, which wasn't that great IMO but it was definitely the favorite for Best Picture that year (I thought Ingloriuos Basterds should've won, personally).

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A Lannister always pays his debts.

Submitted by stefystef on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 1:32pm.

Submitted by skinny fat on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 12:49pm.
Submitted by stefystef on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 12:20pm.

Funny side story:

Angelina wanted the role that Jennifer Lawrence got in "Silver Lining Playbook". She didn't get it.
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GET OUT! Is that really true? No. I don't believe it. I would love it if it were.
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Read it for yourself!

http://www.inquisitr.com/427244/angelina-jolie-wanted-jennifer-lawrences...

*************
Does little happy dance:-)

stefystef's picture

Submitted by BoningBono on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 1:39pm.
Skyfall was robbed!!

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I agree!
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"That shit was more staged and choreographed than Paul Ryan's soup kitchen visit."- MK, 10/16/12

stefystef's picture

Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 1:36pm.

I think Sally Field should have been Best Actress, not Supporting.
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"That shit was more staged and choreographed than Paul Ryan's soup kitchen visit."- MK, 10/16/12

BoningBono's picture

Skyfall was robbed!!

ba-buttons's picture

Submitted by stefystef on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 12:34pm.

Kathleen Bigalow for 0 Dark 30: Come on! The movie is good BECAUSE of her. Who would think a woman would make such good and realistic war movies? Because women are violent crazies, that's why! Better than men in annihilating our enemies. *LOL* I don't feel bad about Tarantino being shut out- sloppy bitch is over-rated, IMO.

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I think it will be more like "Black Hawk Down" - a highly unrealistic (and jingoistic) war story.

As an ex-military guy who served in Afghanistan I CRINGED when I saw the trailer. I know, it's a movie, but those boys were doing things that what have gotten them dead, dead, dead in a real extraction op.

Just my opinion but Bigelow's only good film was "Near Dark". "The Hurt Locker" was a TERRIBLE movie. It was, however, a shining example of how the Oscars winners are really decided - if you know the right people and grease the right palms, you too can win a Best Picture Oscar.

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Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Thu, 01/19/2012 - 11:56am.

Liver spotted hand
Groping while I cry inside
Merit badge and meth

stefystef's picture

More snubs:

Dame Judi Dench for "Skyfall"- Come on! She really did "M" justice at the end.
Javier Bardem for Skyfall- he made crazy and violent so sexy
Daniel Craig for "Skyfall"- Love Denzel, but Daniel was better

The ENTIRE Hobbit movie- nothing. Not even Cinemotography? Damn!

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"That shit was more staged and choreographed than Paul Ryan's soup kitchen visit."- MK, 10/16/12

ImpertinentVixen's picture

Ugh, ANNE FUCKOFFAWAY. Even though I think it's a sure thing Sally Youreallylikeme Field will take it for her superb and underplayed performance of Mary Todd Lincoln, part of me thinks it would be even more delicious if someone young, cool, hip, and gorgeous snatched that Oscar right out of Anne's preying mantis grasp. COME ON AMY ADAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!

can be a pushy broad's picture

Submitted by cocoebert on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 11:43am Jennifer Lawrence is wonderful but she was woefully too young for that role.

I thought she looked about 27-29ish in that movie.
I hope she doesn't hange at that Marimont Hotel (I know wrong name) too much. This gal is talented.

boredasfuckyo's picture

Submitted by princesspoppy on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 1:23pm.

MK it's not right to refer to a little kid as pussy. Uncomfortable.
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Lmao! I just imagine you making that statement with a side eye and enlongating "ble" at the end of Uncomfortable. Hahahaha

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."

can be a pushy broad's picture

Haven't seen several of the best movies yet.
Still, Ben Affleck should have been nominated for best director IMO.
Surprised about Jacki Weaver for Best Sup. Actress.
A very understated performance.

stefystef's picture

Submitted by skinny fat on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 12:49pm.
Submitted by stefystef on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 12:20pm.

Funny side story:

Angelina wanted the role that Jennifer Lawrence got in "Silver Lining Playbook". She didn't get it.
**************
GET OUT! Is that really true? No. I don't believe it. I would love it if it were.

*****************************************************************

Read it for yourself!

http://www.inquisitr.com/427244/angelina-jolie-wanted-jennifer-lawrences...

______________________________________________________________
"That shit was more staged and choreographed than Paul Ryan's soup kitchen visit."- MK, 10/16/12

Submitted by princesspoppy on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 1:23pm.
MK it's not right to refer to a little kid as pussy. Uncomfortable.
------------------

I think he met "Puppy" and he was thinking of tuna for lunch.

joe shmoe's picture

'Amour' is an amazing if depressing movie. It's won a host of awards up to now but mainly film critic type awards. It's not at all the kind of movie the public flocks to - I'm surprised it's nominated.

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princesspoppy's picture

MK it's not right to refer to a little kid as pussy. Uncomfortable.

joe shmoe's picture

I know how Leo cries on cue. He pictures all the guys Bar Rafaeli is banging now.

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TOPANGA's picture

Saw Flight, of course Denzel was great in it, as he always in all of his films. Oscar worthy? No, I've seen him in better. Just my opinion. But There's just so many terrific minority actors /actresses out there (and not just African American) yet STILL in 2013, the Oscars only seems to nominate/award only one or two a year. They seem to be aware of this fact, so they nominate a minority every now and then, even if the part wasnt that "good" just to appease. Not trying to make it a "race" just stating the obvious. That was the point I was trying to make. I should have elaborated more. My apologies...again MY opinion.
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"I was half a virgin when I met him!"

-Mean Girl,Regina George

Hairy Back Mary's picture

I somehow envision Anne Hathaway protesting her loss of the Oscar by going on a hunger strike.

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 11:55am.
WHYTHEFUCK IS TED NOT NOMINATED FOR BESTFUCKINGPICTURE!?? RIGGED!
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No shit! That bear should have SWEPT the nominations. That movie was hilarious.

Regarding Denzel Washington and "Flight": He WAS good in that movie. And John Goodman was epic. If anyone saw the movie, however, the premise of the plane crash itself was entirely flawed (according to a pilot friend of mine who flies 777s). I'm told that the situation portrayed in the movie is simply not plausible.

I liked the movie, but I liked it a little less after hearing that.

"My pug is smarter than your honor student."

Submitted by Lutrelle on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 12:25pm.

What the hell. Is it nom or nod or who gives a fuck?
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All of the above.

Submitted by stefystef on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 12:20pm.

Funny side story:

Angelina wanted the role that Jennifer Lawrence got in "Silver Lining Playbook". She didn't get it.
**************
GET OUT! Is that really true? No. I don't believe it. I would love it if it were.

boredasfuckyo's picture

She more than likely won't, but since she's a local I'm rootin for Quvenzhané Wallis.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."

Jeanneee's picture

"Silver Linings Playbook" got that many nods? Really?

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When will these simple bitches learn that it's a million times more sexy to rock a body like that and be ladylike and not present yourself like a mandrill every time a camera or a hot guy walks by - vsminimoose 12/27/12

boredasfuckyo's picture

Submitted by Cowjam on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 12:41pm.

____________________________________________

The only thing he was good in was "Catch Me If You Can", where he basically played himself: a good-looking (not to me), smooth-talking kid.
__________________________________

I have to disagree, I thought his best role in which he played closer to himself was Arnie in "What's Eating Gilbert Grape?".

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."

Bossy's picture

As I was scrolling through the list I discovered Adele has a last name and it's Adkins. Hmm, not what I would have thought but it will do.

Cowjam's picture

DiCaprio can't act for beans. He plays the same character in every movie, with a contemporary California manner of speaking.

The only thing he was good in was "Catch Me If You Can", where he basically played himself: a good-looking (not to me), smooth-talking kid. he tried to stretch himself in "The Aviator". you could see how painful the effort to actually ACT was.

Foxxy Brown's picture

Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 12:28pm.

Submitted by TOPANGA on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 11:47am.

Except Quvenzhané Wallis is "of color" and I heard Denzel was actually very good. I don't think that's a fair statement... this time anyways...

not just her, Miss Jane. "of color" don't just mean Black folks anymore -- Riva ;-)

unless one saw "Flight" and more than one of the other nominated performances i don't understand how one can determine if Denzel's or any other actor's nomination was "token" or not. speaks volumes when that race card is thrown on the table [and then co-signed] without any analysis of Denzel's or any other nominee's performance...

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

stefystef's picture

More robberies:

Bryan Cranston "Agro"
John Hawkes: "The Sessions"
William H Macy: "The Sessions"

______________________________________________________________
"That shit was more staged and choreographed than Paul Ryan's soup kitchen visit."- MK, 10/16/12

Few Words's picture

i wanna see hathaway head explode when she loses.

☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.

stefystef's picture

We know who was nominated.
Let's talk about who wuz robbed:

David Straithain in Lincoln, playing the Secretary of State Stewart and LIncoln's right hand man. He was just as strong as important as Tommy Lee in this movie.

Kathleen Bigalow for 0 Dark 30: Come on! The movie is good BECAUSE of her. Who would think a woman would make such good and realistic war movies? Because women are violent crazies, that's why! Better than men in annihilating our enemies. *LOL* I don't feel bad about Tarantino being shut out- sloppy bitch is over-rated, IMO.

The Best Actress is weak to me, I hope the little girl wins. I gotta see that movie.

Any other disses?

______________________________________________________________
"That shit was more staged and choreographed than Paul Ryan's soup kitchen visit."- MK, 10/16/12

MissJaneTexas's picture

Submitted by TOPANGA on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 11:47am.

Except Quvenzhané Wallis is "of color" and I heard Denzel was actually very good. I don't think that's a fair statement... this time anyways...

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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012

miz cynical's picture

I want to see the little girl from Southern Wild win. She's just too stinkin' cute. Also, I FINALLY came up with a positive if Anne Hathaway wins an Oscar - her career trajectory will go right down the garbage! I want her to be like the Hilary Swank or Halle Berry of Oscar winners (I'm sure there are more examples, I just can't think of them at the moment). You know what I mean though, the amazing, Oscar winning performance...and then a follow-up role in....Catwoman..with Sharon Stone or some such shit. That's all I got :).

Lutrelle's picture

What the hell. Is it nom or nod or who gives a fuck?

Hekki's picture

Submitted by TOPANGA: "Lincoln will sweep.

Ann Hathaway will win, sad, but she will and we will hear about it FOREVER.

And I love how they randomly snuck Denzel in there for Flight as the token actor of color this year."

Agree with everything you said.

Cowjam's picture

Affleck was robbed!! When I was watching "Argo", in the middle of the film, I said that this was great directing. His acting in the film was just OK, but I loved the tension and the respect for the characters. I can't believe how upset I am.

stefystef's picture

Funny side story:

Angelina wanted the role that Jennifer Lawrence got in "Silver Lining Playbook". She didn't get it.

Angie always walked away from the Sin City pre-sequel.

Remember, you are only as good as your last movie, people.
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"That shit was more staged and choreographed than Paul Ryan's soup kitchen visit."- MK, 10/16/12

PLEASE let Quvenzhané Wallis win Best Actress.

And I'll take any supporting actress over Anne Hath-a-whine. Sally Fields deserves it, but probably won't get it. So I'll gladly settle for Amy Adams.

*********

I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

idiots drive me loco's picture

The Sessions were robbed.....such a great movie. I would love to see Goodman get more acclaim, as he is a damn fine actor. ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
What was Pimp Mama Kris going to say? That Daniel Craig worked to get the career he has while the Kardashians' fame was handed to them on a glove that didn't fit?--MK

TheBreakdown's picture

Sally Field probably SHOULD win, but she won't because the Academy is not about to have her and Meryl Streep tied for Oscar wins at 3 each when Streep is THE GREATEST ACTRESS IN THE WORLD. I would not be too shocked if Amy Adams won since she is overdue and Anne will win one another time if she doesn't win this year, as is expected (and she probably will).

And Denzel was great in 'Flight'. The color of his skin is irrelevant.

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suckandfuck's picture

GREAT JOB OSCARS FOR NOT NOMINATING ANY PISS RECEPTACLES (AKA VAGINA OWNERS) IN THE BEST DIRECTOR CATEGORY. AND LOOK THEY SNUBBED THEM IN THE BEST ACTOR CATEGORY TOO! IT'S COMPLETELY DOMINATED BY MEN! OUTRAGEOUS!

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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.

idiots drive me loco's picture

take it down there a notch...I am typing on my phone. What I meant was, if the 9YO won, and she did not.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
What was Pimp Mama Kris going to say? That Daniel Craig worked to get the career he has while the Kardashians' fame was handed to them on a glove that didn't fit?--MK

Zorba-the-Geek's picture

Worst year for female nominees that I can remember in a long time. I mean, I like Jennifer Lawrence but who is she blowing to get nominated (and maybe even win) for that trifling movie?

MissJaneTexas's picture

WOW I am shocked about Affleck. Definite snub. I was hoping Goodman would get a nod but the category is pretty good as is.

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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012

RichBitch's picture

God I really, really hope Hathaway loses as it'll make the night SO much more entertaining!

RichBitch's picture

Submitted by idiots drive me loco on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 11:56am.
imagine the epic meltdown if Hathaway lost to the 9 YO girl???
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DIFFERENT CATEGORIES!

LaChaylo's picture

Moonshine Kingdom and Bernie were so underrated this year.

Anne has probably already written her acceptance speech. Ugh, I hope the Academy remembers her awful turn as host as well as her nonstop, shameless lobbying for a statue. Insufferable.

RichBitch's picture

Submitted by cocoebert on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 11:43am.
wow the academy really doesn't like Leo.
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He's been nominated 3 times already.