I didn’t watch the People’s Choice Awards last night, because the people’s choices suck and mostly because I had to focus all of my attention on the single most important television event of this decade. I’m talking about Stars in Danger: The High Dive starring Antonio Zapata Jr., Bethany Hamilton, the blueprint for Jerri Blank’s face and some dude who came in second on So You Think You Can Dance. I was hoping to watch a high-speeding train crash directly into the shallow end, but that mess was about as boring as a solo game of Marco Polo, which yes, I have played before.
I should’ve watched the People’s Choice Awards instead, because then I would’ve seen Jennifer Lawrence’s hot wreck of a dress in action. Jennifer was there to pick up some Things Remembered trophy for a made up award that doesn’t matter, but at least she brought the glamour. If Oksana Baiul skated to the Dynasty theme song as Alexis Carrington, this is what she would wear as her costume. If Jennifer Lawrence didn’t slap down a basic blonde, steal a bitch’s man and become the majority shareholder of her arch rival’s company last night, I’ll be severely disappointed with her. Because you should only wear a hot dress like that if you want to slap a trick, home wreck a family and take over a company.
Here’s a few more pictures from last night’s People’s Choice Award. Taylor Swift really showed Harry Styles what he’s missing out on (read: nothing). In order: Alexis Lawrence, Tempestt Bledsoe, Heidi Klum, Ian Somerhalder, Tater Head with her piece, Taylor Swift, a vision of pure class, Raven in man drag, Jared Padalecki, Quinton Aaron with his rumored piece, Matt Boner, Lea Michele and Naomi Watts.