Demi “Topper” Moore Is Still Living The Life

January 10, 2013 / Posted by:

While Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis shuffled around like two miserable blobs in sweatpants, Demi Moore shook her ass to “Buss It Wide Open” on top of a rattan ottoman next to a pool at a resort in Tulum, Mexico! While Ashton and Mila stared at each other across the eating table while slowly chewing their dinner of rubbery fish, Demi shook a can of Corona, opened it up and then sprayed beer all over her tits for the boys! While Ashton and Mila had missionary sex during commercial breaks for Nightline, Demi wore out her cougar coochie by hopping on young dick after young dick. Yes, Demi is getting it and how!

Some source tells Star (via Radar) that Demi spent Christmas week at a weight-loss bootcamp in Tulum, Mexico. The source says that the bootcamp was held at a fancy resort and usually successful women in their 30s and 40s go there to get spiritual and shit, but Demi went there to get some peen. One guest said that Demi brought many a young dude back to her room and woke up the entire resort with her loud cougar cries of ecstasy.

“Demi was clearly after younger men on this trip; they were all about 28 to 33. There were three or four older guys staying at the resort, fifty-plus, and I don’t think she talked to them at all.”

Demi is obviously just following Mexico’s official country motto: “Don’t Drink The Water, But Do Ride The Young Dick.”

The source (who is probably a 50-plus dude) also said that Demi wanted everybody to call her “Topper.”

“Demi wanted to be addressed by the name ‘Topper,’ an esoteric reference to a 1937 Cary Grant film in which a man lives his life to the fullest. Demi almost came across as, I wouldn’t go as far as to say bipolar, but up and down. Her back-and-forth behavior just kind of killed the mood.”

Topper didn’t come from a Cary Grant movie. Topper is what Ashton used to call Demi whenever he wanted her to peg him. And this source sounds bitter. The source shouldn’t hate Demi just because they were on a weight-loss vacation and she was on a dick-gain fuckation. They should know that it’s always spring break in Demi’s world.

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