If you’re a dude and you’re not 1995 Nick Carter or a highly skilled Canadian carpenter who can easily turn a dingy basement into an $800/a month apartment, then you should proceed with caution when attempting to part your hair in the middle. Note to dudes everywhere: the middle part is a privilege and not a right.
God gave most dudes fingers and just because we have God-given fingers doesn’t mean we should use that shit to part our hair in the middle. Sometimes a finger does you good (see: self-fingering) and sometimes it does you wrong (see: middle parted hair). Learn from Bradley Cooper’s ass. B. Coop wore middle parted hair to the National Board of Review Awards Gala in NYC last night and it made him look like an overgrown man child who spends his lunch break licking the crotch part of ladies panties in the intimate apparel section at JcPenney. That’s the kind of evil power the middle part has. Part with caution!
Here’s some dudes at last night’s National Board of Review Awards Gala who got the memo and did not attempt the middle part: Ben Affleck, Chris Tucker, John C. Reilly and Daniel Craig.