Open Post: Hosted By A Fresh Canadian Tulip

January 8, 2013 / Posted by:

Pamela Anderson was in Britain to compete on Dancing on Ice (the same show where Heather Mills’ leg came off during her performance), because the show desperately needed some star power and her scheduled happened to be clear. But I guess the show just couldn’t handle all of the rhinestone-covered grace and talent that Pamela gave them, because she was the first bitch kicked off. Apparently, Pamela was put in last place after her tits spilled out of her costume during her routine. So to recap:

– Pamela Anderson’s 2013 chichis jumped out of her costume and she’s voted out. The message is that they don’t want to see Pamela Anderson’s 2013 chichis anymore, so they’re not taking any chances.

– If the year was 1999 and Pamela Anderson’s 1999 chichis jumped out of her costume, she would’ve won the whole thing and they would’ve devoted an entire channel to showing Pamela Anderson’s 1999 chichis pop out of her costume in slow motion.

The more you know.

Pamela Anderson lost hard, so she took her partner Matt Evers (who was also Heather Mills’ partner), another hot piece and her exquisitely drawn eyebrows out for a drink or a hundred at a club. Pamela came out of the club a little while later looking as fresh and beautiful as ever. Everyone please pick up the phone, call Gurneys and tell them to stock Pamela Anderson seeds, because beauty like this must be spread everywhere. Yes, I know what I did there.

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