The Time Al Roker Gambled And Lost In The White House
We should all be thankful and grateful that Al Roker has zero filter and will shart up every single gross detail about his life, because if he had a filter he wouldn't have given us the story of 2013. On Dateline last night, Al Roker said that a month after his gastric bypass surgery, he was working an event at the White House when he felt the urge to let out a little butt burp. Al figured he'd just let out the simple fart and wave the evidence away as he walked the other way. But Al's fart bubble brought a wet friend along and the next thing he knew he had a poop party in his panties. Dateline, please come up to the stage and accept your Peabody Award (more like Poopbody Award), because you've topped yourself with this shit:
Al: "When you've had a bypass and your bowels have been reconstructed, you think you're pretty safe and I probably went off and ate something I wasn't supposed to. And as I'm walking to the press room, [I'm thinking] well, I gotta pass a little gas here. I'm walking by myself. Who's gonna know? Only a little something extra came out."
Dr. Nancy: "You pooped in your pants."
Al: "I pooped my pants. Not horribly, but enough that I knew..."
Dr. Nancy: "Which is a common side effect of the surgery..."
Al: "Exactly. And so, I was panicking, so I got to the restroom in the press room, threw out the underwear and went commando."
Shart (in your panties) happens. Al Roker gave us a double gift, because not only do we have the image of him sneakily stuffing his sharted-up chonies in a trash can, but since Star Jones also had gastric bypass surgery, we also have the image of her dropping a surprise caca bomb in her silky drawers. Thank you, Al Roker!
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Luckily, in the current Whitehouse, no one would notice.
Submitted by bookworm on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 10:13am.
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BWWWWWAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
~wiping tears from my eyes~
Best. Story. Ever.
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"That shit was more staged and choreographed than Paul Ryan's soup kitchen visit."- MK, 10/16/12
*wipes tears* So fuckin' funny! The story...the comments and antecdotes! OLOLOLOL!
LOVE these types of threads. No shit-throwing, just hilarity!
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"Marriage is what you do when you decide one cock is good enough to let the owner annoy you for the rest of your life." - TrashyWilma
Poor Al. Even though I really didn't need to know that.
And you guys may not need to hear this...but
Years ago I stuffed myself stupid on rum balls (without the rum). I was out & about (looking for a flat to rent actually) when suddenly I got these massive cramps. They were so bad that I had to sit down on the pavement. Anyway a whole LOT of rum ball waste exploded into my knickers. I COULD NOT STOP the onslaught, it was horrible.
I had to walk all the way home with my knickers full of rum ball caca. When I got home I headed straight for the shower.
That gastric bypass has deprived his brain of nutrients, obviously.
Submitted by johnnysgirl on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 4:32am.
Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 3:35am.
I can not even tell you how I didn't pull and Al Roker and shit myself.
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Oh HO HO HO HO HO did that just make me GUFFAW hahahahahahahha! Oh phew *fans self*
REALZ: I pooped mah payantz for the first time EVAR (well since in daip's) about 2 months ago. I was up on the roof having my first evening cig (I smokes on the roof cuz I don't wanna contaminate people on street level)and it kick-sharted things faster than I could get down to home turf.
First thing I did (after poopin) was to text my BF, as we have had years of laffing silly over her IBS poop probs and this was my first time to contribute my own story.
Oh poops
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Lmao!!!!!! Did you grab your ass like it was shot afterward? Like awww fuck I just been hit!!!
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"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."
Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 3:35am.
I can not even tell you how I didn't pull and Al Roker and shit myself.
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Oh HO HO HO HO HO did that just make me GUFFAW hahahahahahahha! Oh phew *fans self*
REALZ: I pooped mah payantz for the first time EVAR (well since in daip's) about 2 months ago. I was up on the roof having my first evening cig (I smokes on the roof cuz I don't wanna contaminate people on street level)and it kick-sharted things faster than I could get down to home turf.
First thing I did (after poopin) was to text my BF, as we have had years of laffing silly over her IBS poop probs and this was my first time to contribute my own story.
Oh poops
Submitted by johnnysgirl on Mon, 01/07/2013 - 11:30pm.
Quick, everyone, share your favorite poop-euphemism! Mine is "taking the kids to the pool."
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Mine is something I like to refer too as "dookie sweats" it's where you have to crap so badly, that you actually start to feel hot and feel flushed in the face, and are trying to speed walk as quickly as you can to the nearest restroom. For example, awhile ago I had eaten at a place in the mall that did not sit well with me, and I hate crapping in a public place because I'm sort of a germphobe, unless it's my own germs, but I had to SHIT SOOOO badly I gave not a single fuck and I did this sort of half ass speed walk/sprint to the Dillards (who's bathroom IS ON THE SECOND FLOOR), and thought I was gonna shit myself and pass out! I can not even tell you how I didn't pull and Al Roker and shit myself.
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"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."
Angela, goddamn you - you beat me to it. Deletes "I JUST ROKERED" alt.
Sitting here reading the sharting comments and all a sudden I smell a foul odor. The Corgi somehow decided that I needed smell-o-dlistedvision.
Her timing is impeccable.
The one good thing about Star Jones' gastric bypass, we will never hear about the time(s) she poopied in her pants..
I need to facepalm into my laptop now. Ironically it was the way she said it that was worse. But seriously, they need press this bad on Today?
FOR WHY DO PEOPLE NO LONGER HAVE DIGNITY?!?!??
"This world is a whore."
Dude, who hasn't pooped their pants at a White House event?
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A Lannister always pays his debts.
Is there some worm eating his brain? Why, of all the stories to tell, would you tell this one? It boggles my mind that he did told this.
Submitted by johnnysgirl on Mon, 01/07/2013 - 11:30pm.
LOL Bango!
And what is it with Lowes, anyway? I always get the poop urge when I go there.
Quick, everyone, share your favorite poop-euphemism! Mine is "taking the kids to the pool."
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Launching a sea cucumber was always a favorite of mine. But during football season I take the Browns to the Superbowl. :)
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 01/07/2013 - 11:45pm.
A tree falls is the forest..... If you shit yourself at Taco Bell can anybody tell?
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Lolol Only if you're wearing shorts and white socks.
@Bango, you're lucky you didn't get food poisoning.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Mel-Tang on Mon, 01/07/2013 - 11:54pm.
Is there something wrong with shitting in your pants?
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Bwahahahahah LOL!
Submitted by BaconSlut on Mon, 01/07/2013 - 11:47pm.
@Whamo
I would wager that this would be an incognito fart. Most are worried about their own "trees" falling and making a sound. *shudders*
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Ya there's nothing like dropping a yule tide log in a Taco Bell line up lol!
Talk to ya later Bacon :D
Is there something wrong with shitting in your pants? I do it on a weekly basis depending on where I've chosen to eat out. Usually after knowing I stuffed myself and I shouldn't have, then getting stuck behind some slow ass drivers and caught at every light. Depends come in handy.
* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
Gotta hooker out for a bit...Hot Lips chores. Thank you all so very much for the great laughs! *passionate fondles*
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@Whamo
I would wager that this would be an incognito fart. Most are worried about their own "trees" falling and making a sound. *shudders*
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@MJT
Because you think we're seeeeeeeeeeexy. *twirls tostada pasties*
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@Whamo
LOL! Everyhooker needs to have goals! At least Taco Bell has no known hockey pucks to interfere!
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@ Reason.....lol
A tree falls is the forest.....
If you shit yourself at Taco Bell can anybody tell?
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 01/07/2013 - 11:32pm.
Submitted by BaconSlut on Mon, 01/07/2013 - 11:29pm.
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Pita diapers and coco-drizzles? Bwahahaha What are you people eating?
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Gardening Girl on Mon, 01/07/2013 - 11:26pm.
COCO DRIZZLIES!
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I can just see Al standing there, you look down and there's a big puddle at the bottom of his pant leg.
No mayonnaise for this lad. Bad spicy mustard maybe?
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God how do keep ending up in this thread. *dry heaves*
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
@Whamo
Wouldn't that make one a Taco Bell employee? ;)
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Honestly, I would only feel safe eating Taco Bell while sitting on the toilet.
And really, I don't run around shitting my pants all the time.... But Taco Bell is like asking God for a pant load.
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Submitted by BangoSkank on Mon, 01/07/2013 - 11:31pm.
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LOL, so gross. Perchance twas the maronnaise? Hehehe
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by BaconSlut on Mon, 01/07/2013 - 11:29pm.
@Bango
LMAO! No Taco Bell. NEVER any Taco Bell.
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You might as well just wear a pair of pita underwear and fill em up!
No bueno?
Ha!
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LOL Bango!
And what is it with Lowes, anyway? I always get the poop urge when I go there.
Quick, everyone, share your favorite poop-euphemism! Mine is "taking the kids to the pool."
@Bango
LMAO! No Taco Bell. NEVER any Taco Bell.
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If I could get weed at The Depot, you know I wouldn't be eating at Subway...Probably Taco Bell (and shitting my pants a hell of a lot more often).
;)
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COCO DRIZZLIES!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
@Bango
Wait. One can procure a bag of weed at Home Depot? I never knew that. *scribbles out new to-do list* :D
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Recently shit my pants for the first time in 25 years. Not a lot. Just a little poop stream. A fart that turned ugly. I blame a bad Turkey sub from Subway.
I did just get home from Lowes though, and couldn't help but think of how horrible it would be to shit my pants at Lowes while shopping for a new grill...
Walmart, sure. People probably shit their pants 5 times a day at Walmart, but to have to go back and face those old bastards who run the gardening section at Lowes?!?!? The horror.
I'd have to drive an hour to Durham and go to Home Depot anytime I needed more than a bag of weed & feed or some trimmer blades. Fucking Subway.
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That's all I need, the thought of Al laying brown butterflies in the bottom of his boxers...great! Lol!
COCO DRIZZLIES!!
Really, many of us have embarrassing poo stories but we keep them more or less to ourselves and certainly do not tell these stories in a FREAKIN' TV INTERVIEW!
Tigerlilly!! Your comments made me paralytic with laughter. There were tears, tears!
Tigerlil, I am just about crying over here. Juvenile, I know.
As you once said of yourself, "I know I ain't right in the head for that."
This is the best interview I have ever seen ! Besides of course this cinematic CLASSIC!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsJOntdB9Bc
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Don't start none and the'll be none.
Lol @ this post, the comments (Tigerlilly!!!) and just everything hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
AH POOPED MUH PAY-YANTS
Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Mon, 01/07/2013 - 9:03pm.
nasty, nasty oversharing like this is a sign of narcissism - they can't imagine that everything they do isn't as fascinating to others as it is to them
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I don't agree with you at all. Maybe for most people but not in his case. She shared an extremely embarassing thing and most narcissistics wouldn't want to be portrayed in a negative light. His weight loss story (the good and the bad) is an inspiration to many people.
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Did anyone order me a plain cheese?
The part where he says he was casually let one rip made me laugh.
Serves him right that he got the sharts for being rude. Al should have excused himself and go fart in the bathroom if possible.
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie