It’s been approximately thirty seconds since Kanye West’s gay fish sperm shoved its way into one of Kim Kartrashian’s ovary eggs, and whores are already offering them millions of dollars for the first pictures of their spawn. TMZ says that an overseas tabloid promised to stick a wad of $3 million cash in between Kanye West’s luscious tit cleavage in exchange for the EXCLUSIVO rights to publish the first pictures of the Illuminati golden child and they were turned down. Future professors of fame whorism will remember this day as the day that money-grubbing whore Kim Kardashian actually shook her head “no” to a pile of money.
Brangelina’s chosen ones still hold the record for getting the most cash for the first pictures of their newborn faces. They got $14 million and the first pictures of Shiloh went for $4 million. The first pictures of JLo and Skeletor’s Dragon Tales Twins cost $6 million. So we all know what Kim and Kanye are doing. Bitches are holding out for a bigger paycheck. Like Kim’s baby is really going to roll out of her womb for ONLY $3 million.
Pimp Mama Kris is already mad at her prized pig for not selling her baby announcement to the highest bidder, so Kim is going to make it up to her by selling every single part of her baby’s birth. When Kim’s baby doctor breaks her water during her scheduled c-section, PMK is going to catch all that water in a bucket, bottle it and then sell it in the hospital waiting room. Then when Baby Kimye is pulled out of Kim’s body, PMK is going to take a picture of its right foot, run into the hospital waiting room, stand behind the auctioneer’s podium and shout, “Okay, okay, we’ve got the fist picture of Baby Kimye’s right foot! Starting bid at $1 million. Can I get $1 million? $1 million from People! Do I hear a $1.5? $1.5 from Life & Style! Can I get $2 million? Anyone, $2 million? No? Anyone? Going once, going twice…SOLD to Life & Style for $1.5 million! Our next lot is the first picture of Baby Kimye’s right butt cheek. It’s the perfect picture for your ‘Did Baby Kimye Get Its Mother’s Butt?’ cover story. Starting bid is at $10 million!”
Here’s Kim at the airport in Miami yesterday.