Mama June's Greatest Fear Is Marannaise
Since TLC is basically just one long never-ending episode of Maury, one of the Here Comes Honey Boo Boo "holladay" specials will feature Mama June facing her greatest fear, which surprisingly isn't vegetables that haven't been deep fried in cheese oil and covered in ranch dressing. The heaves crawl up Mama June's sketti sauce-covered froat when she thinks of MARANNAISE!
While working the hell out of her newly straightened bayootiful yallaw hayer-ah (yes, Tim Peeler would hit that while blowing his coyote horn), Mama June tells her tribe of adorable sugar-coated diabetes drops that her hate for mayonnaise was born when she was a kid because her babysitter only fed her mayo sandwiches. Mama June can easily swallow up bowls of macaroni (air kiss to Simply Sara) and coleslaw salad, but she can't make it herself and she has a hard time looking at mayo in its raw, delicious state. Mama June's mayo phobia is a little strange, because I'm sure if you cracked two raw eggs between her luscious triple decker chins and rubbed all her chins together, out would squirt the most delicious bacon cheddar marannaise you've ever tasted.
Mama June's talk about her mayo fears then leads to Chickfila and Snickerdoodle (or whatever their names are) fighting over whether or not vegamatarians eat marannaise. They're confusing vegans with vegamatarians, but let them argue, because the way they say mayonnaise takes me up, up and away.
And I cannot relate to Mama June's fear of mayo. My tongue is to mayo as gnats are to the sour cream crusties on Mama June's forklift foot. I love it. I can bathe in mayo, brush my teeth with mayo, moisturize my ass cheeks with mayo, wet my contact lenses with mayo and I can even use mayo as lube. So this is good news, because it means there's MORE MARANNAISE FOR ME! Because if Mama June loved marannaise as much as I do, there'd be a nationwide shortage and I'd have to deliver a screeching marannaise message on YouTube.
via UsWeekly
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"Simply Sara" is must view You Tube~ I have a fantasy that Mr. Simply is just a little bit larger then Sara....and their commode is in the outhouse made of reinforced concrete.
"If Drinks are not involved, then neither am I"
@dottie
I'm always on the lookout for new and unique foods to try. Can't get Duke's in Minnysoooooda, though. *kicks desk* But, I can order some from the company! JEAH!!! Thanks for the tip!
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Who in the fuck watches this boring ass TV show? Obviously enough people to warrant TLC emailing Jabba the Hut with trust fund payout details.
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"You wait. They gonna get everybody on twitter, facebook, doing everythin' online and then they gonna pull the PLUG and we all gonna be FUCKED!"
I'd say by the looks of this family, a fear of mayonnaise may be the healthiest thing they got goin' on...this is one irrational fear that does NOT need to be faced.
Duke's is the best and tomato sandwiches are the best!
Mayo is the base for many sauces. It is like the mother sauce. I mix it with Braggs Amino Acid, it is like soy sauce anyways makes a great dipping sauce for steamed artichoke. So good & fancy.
I love mayo (Kraft or homemade only) and this may have just turned me off of it.
I will beat a ho down if they come at me with Miracle Whip. That shit is not mayo, mayonnaise OR marranaise.
I am usually TEAM MAYO, especially the homemade kind, but that $1.00 a jar "marannaise" sammich spread, the little beauty queen is throwing about the kitchen, looks fairly nasty.
I too detest marronaise AND Mama June. Not to mention her spawn.
@Granny
There is a place in St. Paul (Blue Door Pub) that makes something called a Jiffy Burger. It's topped with bacon (good!) peanut butter (WTF?), mayo, pepper jack cheese, and pickles. Ironically, it's super popular. o_O
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Submitted by chuckie3 on Fri, 01/04/2013 - 6:51pm.
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*shocked* I don't watch this show and seriously had NO idea that it was TLC who was broadcasting it! WTH? Perhaps lessons in family relations or something?
I guess it shows my age, but the last time I watched TLC, they showed required segments for course materials of college courses.
It's ironic that the more you watch The Learning Channel the stupider you become.
Archer summed up the programming on TLC pretty well and it's sad that out of all the terrific things in the world to learn about, they produce shit like Honey Boo Boo.
Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 01/04/2013 - 2:25pm.
Submitted by bridgjones: "My husband eats mayo on beets! What the hell is with that? Grosses me out!"
WE do that. It's delicious.
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BH dips his chicken in mayo.
*huah huah*
You want to talk about puke, I knew a person who would eat hot dogs and hamburgers with mayo and peanut butter. I still to this day shutter at the thought.
I'm with this chick June ......can't stand it when people insist on ruining everything with the mayorrnaayse! Especially a good carrot slaw.
Some of you hors seem very, very creative with your naisse though, I'll give you that!!
This was incredibly hard to read. Excuse me while I go throw up!
Hi...I'm here for the gangbang
Mayo is fucking VILE and I will cut a bitch if they put it on my sandwich/burger after I request no mayo.
Like Mama June, I'm fine with it mixed into something (devilled eggs, YUM) but that's it.
There is nothing more fucking foul than biting into a sandwich and having some surprise-mayo squirt into your mouth. >HOLD ME<
creasty yeasty monster, greedy nasty mountain heap of smelly greasy lard.
saw a clip of beast in the kitchen while one of her dumbshits was up on the counter barefoot & picking her ass while handling food.
fuckin aye to those poor saps that bought lemonade off this health hazardous grouping of sewer sludges.
i wonder how bad their home was before tlc fixed it up enough to film the bogus slobs.
grossest & vilest family EVER.
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Fri, 01/04/2013 - 2:23pm.
Reason #45742 I miss Cali.
Re ketchup: whole foods 365 all the way. Ammmazing!
Submitted by Darknight on Fri, 01/04/2013 - 3:58pm.
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Are you sure DK? We have a half a dozen baconnaise sammitches (thanks Baconslut) all ready on the table over here. *gags*
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Lmao....everyone's phobia stories are hilarious!!
We're like the island of misfit posters. Hahaha
* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
I was planning on eating lunch, but I'm good now, thanks.
@Withy
I don't even know if anyone carries that crap anymore. I think it was on clearance at Super Tarjay a few years back for a couple of bucks per jar.
No. Just no.
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Submitted by BaconSlut on Fri, 01/04/2013 - 3:47pm.
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So, no baconnaise-tomato sanmich then? :/ I'll take your word for it.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Baconnaise to the rescue!
http://www.baconnaise.com
(Not really. That stuff is nast-tacular.)
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sammich and marrainaise...love how the subtitle the redneckese...., I was watching the first 48 last night and whenever they would interview someone they had to have use subtitles cause it was in Birmingham and nothing even sounded remotely like the english language except for the word Cuz (as in cousin)....still take Mamma June over the fake ass Whoretrashians every single day...but why would it give her anxiety and not nauseau, cause all that mayo made my stomach hurl a bit.
Major DUH concept: all reality TV is basically mean spirited, as it makes fun of the less fortunate/less intelligent. This is a perfect example: ripping on the possibly inbred. So-called "reality" tv producers are just like jerry springer producers: look for the most retarded, most inept, and then make fun of them at their expense to make money. It's actually pretty nasty...
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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
Submitted by bridgjones on Fri, 01/04/2013 - 3:30pm.
"I still say it like that! Love that movie."
Me too! I can't stand it when People say that they like that rip-off called 'Top gun' better.
HNY to you, too, (((Within)))!
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Fri, 01/04/2013 - 3:29pm.
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Love that movie. HNYs Mickey!!! :) Mayo smayo! But do you like it?
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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HolyMaryMotherofGodSweetBabyJesusLyingInTheManger, I loathe mayonnaise with every fiber of my being.
*rocks slowly back and forth in the corner*
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Fri, 01/04/2013 - 3:29pm.
I always associate mayonnaise with 'An Officer and a Gentleman'. Back in the day when Gere was still considered hot stuff.
^^^^^^^^
I still say it like that! Love that movie.
I always associate mayonnaise with 'An Officer and a Gentleman'. Back in the day when Gere was still considered hot stuff.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuuTS_WNw5w
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Fri, 01/04/2013 - 2:42pm
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Thank Foxy. I hate it when I have that dream. There must be lots of people pissing me off. ;-)
How much you wanna bet that those kids went off and ate every bit of that mayonnaise after taking it away from Mama June?
"because I'm sure if you cracked two raw eggs between her luscious triple decker chins and rubbed all her chins together, out would squirt the most delicious bacon cheddar marannaise you've ever tasted."
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I fucking hate you for this gorlfraaaaaan!!!! *HUAH, HUAH*
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" Can I wear the Scream mask? The mask from Scream... when I do you from behind..." ~ Kenny Powers
Rancid throat lube for them, GG. Marinawhatevertheycallit.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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WR, may this bad energy visit those mean bitches.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
GG, hey, I said double hearts! SIL and MIL's like Louise's deserve back to front not the other way around, there I said it. hehehe
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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WR, I agree the butt crack touch was nasty but so is going out of your way to make someone feel unwelcome in your home - especially if they are family. It shows lack of good breeding. Maybe you can throw THAT in their faces, louise.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
@ bigbendy -- i have a book called "10,000 Dreams Interpreted" here's what it says about sticking a pin into your flesh: "denotes that some person will irritate you." if pin swallowed, accidents will force you into perilous conditions
"needle" is less specific:
to use a needle - warning of approaching affliction in which you will suffer loss os sympathy rightfully yours
threading a needle - burdened w/care of others beyond your own household
look for a needle - useless worries
find a needle - have friends who will appreciate you
break needle - loneliness and poverty
ETA: happy new year to you too, rascal! and anyone else i've missed seeing since Tues
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Fri, 01/04/2013 - 2:14pm.
@ rascal -- thanks. you just HAD to encourage GG to say that nastiness
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My pleasure!
*winks at GG*
Happy New Year, Foxxy xoxoxo
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Submitted by Migraineuse on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:22pm.
All females belong to the sex class; they are subhuman buckets for male incontinence.
Food
Watercress, molasses the smell guarantees me sick ( mom made medicine with it), hot dogs, Taco Bell, the smell of IV (don't even ask) and I took forever to learn to fry an egg since grandma once let that hot oil in my face, so I love fried food but I won't fry it
Hiya everyone
GG, in your butt crack, SAY WHAT? YOU NASTY! *double hearts* lol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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GG- LMAO!!
Louise, a million tiny pins it is then. :) You may receive one or two of the dolls bald and with sticks for arms.
@Foxxy, I likes them, how I likes em.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Speaking of pins and needles, does anyone else have dreams of having them in your mouth. That is one of my repeat dreams and I have no concept as to what it means.
Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Fri, 01/04/2013 - 2:16pm.
Submitted by Bwhit19964 on Fri, 01/04/2013 - 2:08pm.
the fried spam (or "treat") w/mayo sandwich demands your attention too
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Louise, after I am done working out, I am going to stick the doll in my butt crack! I'll eat beans before hand....TOOT!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
GG and WR- well, she is sooo tiny so a billion little pins should do it. ;-)