What do you get when you mix a drunk producer, camera people who don’t give one fuck, ear pieces bought off the back of a truck, Shannon Elizabeth, Jamie Kennedy (looking like a coked-up 70s porn director turned third-rate used car salesman), Carl’s Jr., Bone Thugs, f-bombs galore, one of Hef’s ex-hos, a stoned-as-all-hell Macy Gray, several servings of back fat, a fight and more sequined rolls than you can handle? You get the greatest New Year’s Eve live broadcast of 2012!
KDOC-TV, some local news station in L.A., showed Kathy Griffin and Anderson Cooper how to really bring the New Year’s Eve foolery. This video of the night’s greatest hits is over 6 minutes long, but it’s 6 minutes of pure gold. Come for Macy Gracy’s raver Christmas tree skirt and stay for everything else. Here’s just some of my favorite moments:
(at the 2:43 mark)
Macy Gray: Alright, what time is it? How much time do we have? What time is it? 11:15?! Ten minutes? What are you guys going to do at midnight? Why don’t you just be early? 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! You guys sure are quiet for a bunch of people.
(at the 3:53 mark)
One of the hosts who looks like Casper Smart as a Blues Brother: What’s your name sir?
Drunk sir: Talan Motherfucker’-oooooh!
Host: (to a lady next to him) What is your name?
Mrs. Motherfucker – His mother.
(at the 4:28 mark)
Jamie Kennedy: What is your resolution for 2013?
Texting sequined bombshell: AYE UH UM ERR JUST GONNA GET RID OF ALL MY HATERZ!
Take note, CNN, NBC, ABC and every other network. You don’t need a budget to entertain the masses. And by “masses,” I mean the 3 people who watched this live. And by “the 3 people who watched this live,” I mean the 3 friends of the sequined bombshell who got her text message that read: TURN ON CHANNEL 56 NOW! F U TO MY HATERZ!