Hot Slut Of The Day!
Guy Fieri's S'mores Indoors Pizza!
Guy Fieri (born name: Guy Ferry) is a bona fide piece of tampon litter and he looks like a mutated pizza cheese bubble with a porcupine's ass on top, but he has contributed two good things to modern civilization. The first good thing he produced was his gourmet emporium in Times Square, but only because it has become The New York Times' food critic's greatest muse. The second good thing Guy's peroxide-damaged brain farted out was his S'mores Indoors Pizza sold at Sam's Club. That thing is a beautiful, diabetes-summoning mess. Yes, it probably tastes like a dirty condom after messy butt sex, but the things I'd do to it after a few bong hits or twenty. Guy's caca and burnt tonsil stones pizza is also a hit with everyone who buys it. Here's just some of the glowing reviews on Sam's Club's site courtesy of Buzzfeed:
I love chocolate, graham crackers, and marshmallows - in short, I love s'mores... but this was the worst - and I MEAN the WORST dessert ever. Everyone was right - it was soooo spicy. I WILL be bringing this back to Sam's Club for a full refund. It makes me so mad that Guy Fieri would ever allow people to eat something like this - I was sick from it. Did I mention it was spicy?
I bought two packs (4 pizzas) for a church dinner. First of all, according to the package, you are supposed to place them directly on the rack in the oven to bake. Marshmellow melted and fell down into the bottom of both ovens and smoked the entire kitchen/dining room area up (not to mention made a HUGE mess in the oven). Then I tried to slice them with a pizza cutter and most of the topping came off while slicing. Finally, the taste was HORRIBLE! I would have never expected it to be spicy. These pizza's were a total disappointment!
This is the worst thing I have ever bought. There was something very hot in it that burned our tongue and throat. We had to throw it away and I don't know what to do with the other one as they come 2 in a pack. Would never buy this again and would never recommend it to anyone!
My son thought this would be a great substitute for his birthday cake because he loves smores and pizza. Well, no where on the box does it say the smores pizza is loaded with Cayenne and chili peppers. We like spicy, but not on smores! This is disgusting! What a disappointment! Thank God for Sam's product guarantee... This is definitely going back for a refund!
We purchased this product because it looked delicious on the box and had Guy Fieri's name on it. I can't believe he would put his name on this awful stuff!
Spicy, vomit-inducing, life-ruining and makes you want to stick your tongue on a block of dry ice to stop the grossness from burning into your tongue? Sounds exactly like a review you'd give after tasting Guy Fieri's b-hole!
And if those reviews aren't making you want to put your tongue on Guy's chocolate disc, this picture of it will:
I'm not even going to say what that looks like. But I will say that if you've ever looked into a Port-A-Potty toilet after an all-night outdoor bareback butt sex orgy, you now know what it looks like.
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It does not look appetizing in the least.
Fieri's restaurant in NYC was soooo trashed by a critic that I feel kind of bad for the guy.
Nonetheless, I wouldn't really eat that unless I had a severe bout of the munchies!
Who the hell cuts a "pizza" like that?
It irks me that this is called a pizza. That's a cookie. I'm tired of fruit "pizza", cookie "pizza", and whatever else people come up with. If it doesn't have a plain crust, cheese, and tomato sauce, it's not a damn pizza.
The pizza exemplifies Guy Ferry. It looks like vomit on a plate.
Anal explosion on a pita... plus it tastes awful? FAIL!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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I'm an adventurous eater but this looks like some straight up crap. I've tried bbq chicken pizza twice, never tried bacon cheeseburger or steakncheese pizza (why not just eat the real thing?)
I'm tired of people fucking up pizzas. Boo.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1zJeGf-gpc
they baked the smore pizza too long! :) why not spicy chocolate? GF is annoyingHot :)
~O..+~
"Have you met Howard?"
My better half still doesn't believe his last name is Ferry...
there ain't nothin' EEtalyun on this fool...
"Just look at all the fucks I give!"
"Faith means not wanting to know what is true." — Friedrich Nietzsche
"Is your name Michael Diamond?" "Naw, mine's Clarence..."
That pizza looks like one of Aretha Franklin's old panty girdles. On a hot day. After mexican food. You know what I'm sayin'?
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Vanity is the price of fame.
Some of his recipes are really good but I can't stand his whole persona. Who the hell changes their name from "Guy Ferry" to "Guy Fieri" to sound more ethnic, anyway? Who the hell told him the bleached hair, dark facial hair, and sweatbands on his wrist was a winning look? He is the only successful chef from that food network star show though, isn't he? I haven't seen the Justin kid who won from last season do anything yet but maybe they put him on during the day or something.
OMG the porta-potty analogy is so right on! How can this double-dipped D-bag be so popular? He doesnt look trust-worthy enough to change the oil on my Gremlin!
What's it going to take to get this guy to stop?
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When will these simple bitches learn that it's a million times more sexy to rock a body like that and be ladylike and not present yourself like a mandrill every time a camera or a hot guy walks by - vsminimoose 12/27/12
Como una donna Italiana vera io dice scordatilllllo !!! - Kisa
As a true Italian woman I say fugggetttaboutitttt !!! - Kisa
"If it were socially acceptable I would esconce myself in velvet. " George Costanza
Dairy Queen used to have these "ice cream pizzas" that were absolutely amazing. You could get different types of candy on it like, oreo, smarties, rolo etc.
I'm not disputing the fact that this pizza looks disgusting but everybody knows that you let the pizza cool for a couple of minutes after taking it out of the oven before slicing. If you slice it while it's too hot the cheese pulls all the toppings off. That happens to every pizza.
Welcome Back MK!!! That pizza looks craptastic!!
mmmm.... no.
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Back from vacation? Vacation from where? The Willy Wonka factory? The Al Jolson Resort? MERCURY? MK - 8/1/12
I second Hockey! STOP COMING TO MINNESOTA YOU ERRANT TURD!
Chocolate and spice can be awesome. (No, I'm not high.) But spice and s'mores? *inserts picture of Grumpy Cat with a caption of "NO."
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nothing screams "dessert" like pizza dough run through a scat, bukkake set!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
He's a homophobe? I had always assumed he was gay. I have a really hard time believing he's not. What a douche.
This guy is a hack. He's homophobic, a total failure, and his food is as appetizing as his hair. I would never buy a product with his ugly mug on it.
cayenne and chili peppers? gross.
He lives in my neck of the woods: Northern California (I think Santa Rosa or someplace in that area). I just can't with this guy, and if someone offered me a piece of that abomination known as S'mores Indoors, I would run screaming in the opposite direction. In times like these, I'm glad that Ina Garten is still on the air. Granted, she can be pretentious as fuck, but she seems genuinely interested in making good food, and at least she never made S'mores Indoors.
Presenting: The Goatse Cream Pie
Guy's caca and burnt tonsil stones pizza is also a hit with everyone who buys it.
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Oh. hell. no. "Burnt tonsil stones"
As sweetas would say: huahua
*voms again
MK if you keep this up, I will have no problem sticking to my diet.
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What in the praying mantis crackhooker hell is this?! - MK 9/09
Submitted by letinstar on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 11:23am.
whenever i see guy and that bleached spiked hair of his, i go into an uncontrolled rage and just want to slap everything around me...
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Right there with you! Can't stand his bad bleach job or how he just shoves the food into his mouth, grosses me out.
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
-Ash
That's the best representation of Santorum visually. Santorum meaning the term Dan Savage's readers help create.
Submitted by Hekki
I like shows where the chef really loves food, and teaches you how to make simple things well. A perfectly roasted whole chicken is worth a hundred smoked chicken tartare with roasted beetroot reduction and marsala essence coulis, or whatever ridiculous foo-foo shit they makes on these shows.
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^^^WORD. I'm lucky to have several fine restaurants nearby (and the chefs are friends) but am soooo tired of perfectly arranged plates with a smear of sauce and three miniature veggies. All I can think is how someone has had their hands all over my food.
He is part of the reasons why I now watch the Cooking Channel.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Looks like explosive diarrhea. Disgusting.
*skips breakfast*
What do you expect from the Heat Miser's little brother.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
We purchased this product because it looked delicious on the box and had Guy Fieri's name on it. I can't believe he would put his name on this awful stuff!
If "name" stands for post-analsex poop, i would totally believe it and take the aforementioned picture as exhibit a.
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Do you want a banana?
No i don't wanna
It really makes Sandra what's her name's meatloaf look edible in comparrison.
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
If you believe in yourself, drink your school, stay in drugs, and don't do milk.
Here I was thinking that maybe his ONE redeeming quality was being Italian, which in my RACIST mind translates into maybe knowing something about food. Thanx for clearing that shit up, MK; now I know he has NO redeeming qualities.
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"If French is the language of love, then Spanish is the language of badassery!" -MK
Can't stand him, I'm glad the rest of the world is catching up to noticing how much he sucks. Smores pizza looks like something you can make out of scratch and would look and taste 100x's better. At this one party, this one person made something that was practically a smores casserole, it was the tits and I had more than my fair share, apparently found on Pinterest (which is waaay more useful than the Food Network IMHO).
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
If you believe in yourself, drink your school, stay in drugs, and don't do milk.
"Guy Ferry" sounds like some kind of gay cruise.
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"Brows should not look like a condiment!" -MK
LOL @ "Guy Ferry." Isn't he always going on about his Italian roots?
Thanks Hockey!
*giggles at your revenge*
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
"I'm not even going to say what that looks like. But I will say that if you've ever looked into a Port-A-Potty toilet after an all-night outdoor bareback butt sex orgy, you now know what it looks like. "
Welcome back stateside, MK, and really, thanks for that image first thing in the morning! BLERG!
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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
Feel better, Vern! And yes Hekki-- too rich. I can feel my blood sugar spike if I eat one.
My kids and Mrs. Hockey will watch ANYTHING ANYTIME ALL DAY LONG if it's the Food Network. I hate this fucking cooking competition shows-- CHrist all fucking mighty, do we have to watch people make disgusting shit out of goat brains and cherries and saffron and cocoa powder? NELL NO. I hated the original Iron Chef with the Japanese people and the dubbed in voices-- fucking waste of space and oxygen. I seriously have had to scream "NO MORE!! I CAN'T TAKE IT!! NO MORE COOKING!!! If you want to want to watch someone cook, watch yourself in the kitchen making me dinner!!!"
Seriously, all day, every day. Even on fucking Christmas eve. I made them turn it to A Christmas Story and explained why they had to sit thru six hours of that as payback.
The only thing Guy Ferry does on his show is turn me on to local restaurants, bc I love diner food. But he needs to stop going to Minnesota. We got it-- MINNESOTA HAS FOOD. Check, Now go someplace the hell else.
And yes, I've taken my meds today. Shocker.
Hockey fan, I agree about them being too rich. For some reason, I can eat all the separate ingredients just fine, but combined, it gives me blood sugar issues. One is my limit.
Submitted by TexnDoc on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 11:14am.
I ate at two "celeb chef" restaurants last week - Michael Chiarello's in Napa was delish but Cat Cora's
Cat Cora?
She's the lezchef that was able to come back for her DUI mugshot after she put some makeup on and had her hair did. Celebrity has its privileges.
I've been sick for weeks now. These pictures sum up how I feel.
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
These TV chefs have to have crazier and crazier gimmicks to stand out.
I love "America's Test Kitchens" A LOT because it's no-nonsense.
I like shows where the chef really loves food, and teaches you how to make simple things well. A perfectly roasted whole chicken is worth a hundred smoked chicken tartare with roasted beetroot reduction and marsala essence coulis, or whatever ridiculous foo-foo shit they makes on these shows.
Doesn't look even remotely appealing; even on the box.
What I'd like to know is why it's spicy. I didn't go to fancy chef school but when smores consist of anything more than chocolate, marshmallows and graham crackers? That shit ain't hard to mess up!
I must be the only person in the world who doesn't like s'mores. The marshmallow is too rich (not a big fan of toasted marshmallows either). That being said, this looks like Santa took a dump and someone drove over it. And WHAT THE FUCK with putting spices on it? Guy Ferry needs his fat ass put down.
What seems like a good idea + clueless douche = Hot farty mess.
it looks like doggie diarhea with vomit on top. i can't stand guy fieri. he opened a new 'restaurant' here in Times Square and the NY Times review of it, which was scathing, is now a classic in the annals of restaurant reviews. It's a scream.