I Know, It's WAY Too Early In This Year For This Mess
While I pulled some Freaky Friday shit and took over Kathy Griffin's body to try to give a faux beej to The Silver Fox, this photoboming dude in the middle of Kanye West and Kim Kartrashian acted on behalf of humanity by throwing a "Are you there God? It's me, the face of humanity. For why did you allow this to happen?!" look of desperation at 1OAK's New Year's Eve party in Las Vegas on Monday night. Meanwhile, Kim is cackling up at the heavens, because she knows that in a few months she's going to butt birth out the chosen spawn of Lucifer and there's nothing God can do about it. I hope God gets the last laugh when Kim gives birth to a drooling cave baby that looks just like Kris Humphries.
While looking like thirty pounds of rotten smoked gouda wrapped in one of Cher's old costumes, Kim continued her reign as Pimp Mama Kris' most prized pig by hosting 1OAK's New Year's Eve party for a check. Kanye also showed up to the party, because he wanted to flash his smuggest smug face since his gay sperm fish has been where literally a billion different kinds of sperm fishes have been before (read: her baby making areas) and has done what none of them were able to do (read: knocked her up). Kim told UsWeekly at 1OAK's party that so far she hasn't had a case of the barfs at all:
"I have felt good. I haven't had any morning sickness, but it still isn't the easiest. People always say it's easy and fun. It's definitely an adjustment learning about your body and stuff like that. I've been feeling really good so that's good."
Kim might not be heaving up gallons of barf, but I'm pretty sure all of humanity is. Yes, this is how it ends. Civilization will drown in its own ocean of barf after reading every single detail about the Kimye baby. Or after seeing this picture of PMK in her freakum dress.
And if you want to infuse your barfs with a sprinkling of HAHAHAs, just read all about how Kim isn't planning on whoring out her baby. Kim Kardashian not planning to whore out her first born is...well...like Kim Kardashian not planning to whore out her first born.
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Sorry but there is no charisma between these two. And if she is really 3 months pregnant then why wasn't he photoshopped into the annual Kristmas Kard?
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...the end
Hmmm, I wonder what kind of parents they will be.
Her inability to care for an animal longer than a week has been shown on their show multiple times. He has well-documented rage issues.
Thank god for good nannies.
Submitted by betseyfan2 on Wed, 01/02/2013 - 12:37pm.
Except Kim lost in that deal. Reggie to Kanye?????DOWNGRADE!
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
Submitted by Stan Hooper on Wed, 01/02/2013 - 12:28pm.
=I think Kanye is still reeling from a bruised ego from Amber Rose being knocked up and had to one up her ass with Kim pulling the same trashy dress.
^^^^^^
And Kim had to one-up Reggie.
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"Marriage is what you do when you decide one cock is good enough to let the owner annoy you for the rest of your life." - TrashyWilma
Submitted by FluffKitteh on Wed, 01/02/2013 - 12:05pm.
OMG, that plastic surgery! She is looking more and more like an alien. E.T. Phone Hoe.
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Ok, I larfed.
The only good thing about this is I don't feel fat anymore. Thanks fat whore!
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Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!
She'll have several nannies & bring the baby out for photo ops only. Or Khloe or Kourtney will raise it.
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"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."
=I think Kanye is still reeling from a bruised ego from Amber Rose being knocked up and had to one up her ass with Kim pulling the same trashy dress.
Mama Pimp is already securing the ultrasound rights as I type this. Gotta get that $$$$$ no matter what!
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Wed, 01/02/2013 - 12:00pm.
Ugh, I hate her. So much
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Girl, when you say something like that I know it's bad.
I agree, there needs to be a Kuntrashian boycott in 2013
Submitted by Good Queen Liz on Wed, 01/02/2013 - 12:00pm.
What is wrong with West's face? Mumps? Storing nuts for the winter? Does he eat kebabs sideways? Jesus lady you're going to need birth canal like the Channel tunnel to get a head that big out.
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OK - the kebab comment was probably the funniest thing I have read in a long time.
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Did anyone order me a plain cheese?
Cat >^,,^<
Her ass is going to need it's own zip code by the time she has that poor poor baby!
Submitted by Good Queen Liz on Wed, 01/02/2013 - 12:00pm.
He was in a really bad car accident that jacked his face up.
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
As long as we're invoking the deities, I'm praying for one disgruntled and hard-up employee of a Beverly Hills fertility clinic to reveal that she had in vitro. You know you could get like $100k from some gossip rag for that news...
Submitted by Good Queen Liz on Wed, 01/02/2013 - 12:00pm.
What is wrong with West's face? Mumps? Storing nuts for the winter? Does he eat kebabs sideways? Jesus lady you're going to need birth canal like the Channel tunnel to get a head that big out.
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Maybe he was a "waterhead" baby. :(
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"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."
OMG, that plastic surgery! She is looking more and more like an alien. E.T. Phone Hoe.
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"Brows should not look like a condiment!" -MK
I was reading that the spawn was conceived near the Vatican - I guess this is Satan's way of flipping J.C. the bird.
What is wrong with West's face? Mumps? Storing nuts for the winter? Does he eat kebabs sideways? Jesus lady you're going to need birth canal like the Channel tunnel to get a head that big out.
Ugh, I hate her. So much.
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
The way she is cackling in that first picture, she looks exactly like PMK
Submitted by suckandfuck on Wed, 01/02/2013 - 11:45am.
She's not laughing, she's gargling piss in her mouth.
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LMFAO!
Hekki- LOL! Of course!
Jack- I wish Jesus would trip them then, just for shear comedic value.
Oh and that dress is so ungodly awful that it looks like it came from the House of Derriere and it looks like it's two sizes too big. The length is awful (it doesn't even look hemmed) and the sleeves are past her hands!
Submitted by louise_brooks: "They really should name this baby Cousin Oliver, because that's what this reminds me of- popularity is waning, so let's add a new kid to the mix!"
HAHAHHAHA! Genius. Can we call it that from now on? Hope you don't mind, Louise, but that's its name.
Bahahaha!
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"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."
I hope they don't make leather and lace onesies, because you know that fool Koonye will be all over the baby's wardrobe too,
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Don't start none and the'll be none.
I wonder if she will get divorced finally from Humphries? One more Kardashian bastard on the way.
Jesus walks with them.
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" Can I wear the Scream mask? The mask from Scream... when I do you from behind..." ~ Kenny Powers
They really should name this baby Cousin Oliver, because that's what this reminds me of- popularity is waning, so let's add a new kid to the mix!
If you think the way Kim dresses now is humorous, wait until Kanye tries to tap into maternity wear. That might actually be the one good thing that comes out of this, it will be pure komedy.
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
If you believe in yourself, drink your school, stay in drugs, and don't do milk.
Her face is looking WAY scary now. She looks like a plumped up Asian in a few of the pics.
And that dress is tacky as fuck.
The relationship between this child and its trashy famewhore parents is going to make Frances Bean and Courtney Love look like the best of friends by comparison. I'd be surprised if (s)he doesn't disown the entire Kartrashian Klan by the age of 14.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
She's not laughing, she's gargling piss in her mouth.
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
The dress: It looks like she's copying Kristen Stewart. I know it's supposed to be that way, but the part covering the hands makes me think that she had to go a few sizes up and didn't have time to shorten the sleeves to Oompa Loompa proportions.
And in thumb 13, she's ALREADY cradling her belly.
Submitted by kanderso on Wed, 01/02/2013 - 11:14am.
I felt like everyone was finally starting to ignore her a bit and then she goes and pulls this move. Ugh.
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Same. I really thought she was on her way out. Either she caught onto that herself or she was too busy scheming on how to trap Kanye to care about PR for a few months.
Submitted by Helena: "...I bet she'll schedule a medically unnecessary c-section à la Posh Spice.
I don't know why she fills me heart with such hate, but she does!"
I know, me too. There are mitigating factors when compared with Lohan (Kim is always polished-looking and put-together and she obeys the law), but yeah, I hate her too.
And you know, if a woman is having a genital herpes outbreak, they can't let her deliver vaginally, so SOME of the C-sections out there are for that reason...
Her forehead looks dirty as hell. She needs a facial cleaner with a scrub in it, and perhaps some seabreeze...
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"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."
"People always say it's easy and fun"
Yea....but usually because *those* people are in a healthy relationship and have a baby for the right reasons. They aren't vapid zombies that are only thinking about how their bodies look and how to spin every second of their lives into a reality TV show moment.
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Did anyone order me a plain cheese?
since when is a skank getting knocked up news?
prediction: the Human Urinal will have a "miscarriage" before Spring arrives.
does Carbo-face actually not realize he's the ugliest man on the planet?
I have never in all my years heard someone say pregnancy is "easy and fun." Bitch is out of fucking touch. I can't wait till she's 36+ weeks. She's going to be fat and un-fucking-comfortable. I bet she'll schedule a medically unnecessary c-section à la Posh Spice.
I don't know why she fills me heart with such hate, but she does!
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Devil's advocate.
OMG The 4th thumbnail. She is freaking ugly.
Submitted by justjane: "Wondering which weight loss companies PMK has contacted to pony up for this heffers inevitable onslaught of lbs.?"
Which reminds me - Finally saw the Jessica Simpson Weight Watchers 360 commercial last night! It was interesting to see how they camouflaged her body every which way they could. Hahahahaha.
Thumbnail 2 is especially repugnant.
@Hekki
So true.
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"Marriage is what you do when you decide one cock is good enough to let the owner annoy you for the rest of your life." - TrashyWilma
BUT HE IS SUCH A GAYBO!!!
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" Can I wear the Scream mask? The mask from Scream... when I do you from behind..." ~ Kenny Powers
You know what's gonna suck even more, all the self-righteous perfect mothers who spend large amount of free time just to rag on her fool ass, and what a shitty ignorant mother she's gonna be. So really it's a lose/lose situation for anyone who doesn't have kids, or people who do have kids and have an iota of common sense and don't wanna hear about this over-privdledged whore OR some of the self-appointed child psychologists, they are both equally fucking annoying... I feel as if I'm going to be linking the "pregnant women are smug" for Kim and for all those perfect prestine mothers out there bumping their gums *sigh* let the annoyance BEGIN!
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"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."
only day 3 of little K'agenda Kardashian-West watch and it already feels like 938190538083905894987.
My God- is that that has been Brittney Gastineau? What a drugged out plastic surgeryied out mess she is.
Everytime I see PMK I want to punch something.
I can't with this pregnancy shit. If I see an article I'm not going to read it. These people make me sick, and people writing about them just gives them momentum. Ugh.
all things considered - she's probably had about 4 - 16 abortions and spared the world several times...she'll make a BFD about something rats, pigeons and women for centuries before her have done and will continue to do minus the herpes and PENDING divorce
6 more months to infinity for this bitch, shit...
Also, lets be real, the reason why Kim let this one simmer in her baby makin bid'ness this time is because Kanye isn't a Ray J, or a Kris Humphrey's, in terms of status and money, compared to them, he is the big leagues. Would you expect her to settle for less in terms of attention whoring? Please.
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"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."
Aw, is it really harder than people think? I mean it's not like billions of bitches have done it or anything.
Let's all make a New Years pact. NO MORE KARTRASHIANS. Maybe they will just go away. Please Michael, just say no. No more posts on these pigs