Happy New Year!
Well, we actually made it through 2012 without being shot into space where Tommy Girl and John Travolta would cackle at us while zipping off to Xenu's home planet in their space pods (which look like this). We made it! Although, Kim Kardashian is knocked up with the Illuminati's golden child, so I'm sure the rapture will swallow all of us in 6 months when she gives birth to a swarm of locusts and four fishsticks-eating horsemen. But in the meantime, let's all toast to the beautiful things that 2012 gave us like Mama June's stack of Pringles chins and her Forklift Foot. 2013 is totally going to be a breakout year for Mama June's Forklift Foot!
And I'm going to spend my New Year's Eve rounding up all the roosters on the island (Seriously, Kauai is the island of roosters and not a second goes by when one isn't cock-a-doodle-doodling up my asshole. That sounded sexy, but it isn't.) and slapping Honey Boo Boo glasses over their eyes before getting them drunk on bottom shelf rum, so they'll be too hungover tomorrow to wake my ass up at 4:30 in the morning with their yodeling. That's what my ass is going to do.
Happy New Year, everyone!
• 
Tardy to the party but it's not too late to say Happy New Year to all Dlisted slores, and our whore goddess MK.
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Wed, 01/02/2013 - 4:01am.
^^^^^^^^^^^^
HEAR HEAR! *raises coffee mug*
All the very best to you and yours in the new year, Mickey.
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"Marriage is what you do when you decide one cock is good enough to let the owner annoy you for the rest of your life." - TrashyWilma
(((Mickey))) happy new year! I hope you have a great new year! You deserve it! *hugs* <3 (heart)
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I like to smile, smiling's my favorite! : )
The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
I hope that 2013 will mark the end of bullying. I know it won't, because there's a textbook example even in yesterday's open post, but it can never hurt to put your wish out there. Here's raising the glass to a culture of mutual respect, tolerance and open-mindedness! Luckily, so many good-willing people can be found on here.
Joe Schmoe, always a pleasure to see you!
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Who are you calling silly cow?
"Submitted by joe shmoe on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 8:02pm.
I know! Based on H8's armor alone, they said he was minimum 6'2. Not to mention he was in his early 40s when the whole AB affair unfolded. Grr. For the life of me, I will never understand why they didn't cast Steven Waddington. Right age, height, build, hair color and a decent actor to boot. *pouts*
Of course Henry Cavill is so smoking, I am willing to overlook that Suffolk was actually older than Henry. *shrugs*
LOLing over Tommy Girl's soccer mom hips. I have a friend who says men with girlish hips obviously had their bloodline cursed by a witch in the 17th century and should be pleasant in all aspects of life to compensate for this shortcoming.
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It hurts because you let your black heart beat for an asshole who can't even send you a "P.S. I'm about to fuck a hole that doesn't belong to you" text before fucking said hole that doesn't belong to you.
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 9:08pm.
At least not with photogs around. :)
Submitted by louise_brooks on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 8:50pm.
No kidding. Not just fat, but fat stuffed into too tiny clothes. Well, drunk, fat, and stuffed into too tiny clothes. :)
I see everyone else is watching the Tudors marathon. Henry Cavill - YUM. The whole show is one big historical inaccuracy and I love JRM so it doesn't bother me.
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 7:55pm.
Jesus. I have been overserved a time or two in my life but never have I laid down on the street or walked barefoot. That street has got to be so dirty. (VOM). And some of those girls need better friends who would tell them those clothes are too damn small for them.
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
Ouch. No bueno!
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Submitted by RandéSleepover on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 7:55pm.
Next time people start going on about fat Americans someone needs to whip those pictures out. Those last 3 look like something from My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 8:36pm.
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That could be but the way she's dragging it by the hair....lol! Or maybe the boyfriend got embarrassed and put a plant where his hand was and she was none the wiser. Thanks be to God I was never so drunk back in the day to end up on the internet!
RandéS, holy freaking case of the drunks! The best picture is the chick kissing the bobby! Bet he enjoyed it.
@Gigaboob, that girl probably thought the plant WAS her boyfriend's hand, lol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 7:55pm.
You think you drank too much last night? Pffft.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2255587/New-Years-Eve-2012-Shame...
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Hahaha I'm howling at the heffa dragging the uprooted plant. What the fuck? I bet that plant gave her the side-eye. Yeah...that's it.
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 7:55pm.
Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Those heifers should have been arrested for wearing short skirts with those land whale bodies barely covering them up!!!!!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
kikichanelconspiracy on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 7:39pm.
"Also, JRM was not only too short and skinny to play Henry VIII who was very tall and athletic, but Henry became quite corpulent with age, and Henry was a red-head."
Yeah. While the lack of gingerness annoyed me, JRM's daintiness bothered me more. Especially when Steven Waddington (a 6 foot plus red head) had a small part. And Natalie Dormer (Ann Boleyn) has bright blue eyes, even though AB was famous for having nearly black eyes. Oh well
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Henry VIII's tomb was reopened (I think by Victoria in the 19th c) and his skeleton, even allowing for shrinkage, *snicker* was 6'2". At his most corpulent before he died at age 55, the goss was that three of the largest men in his court could all fit into his tunic with room to spare.
I agree that JRM is *totally* miscast for that part. See also Tammy Cruise playing Jack Reacher who in the series of Reacher novels is a dangerous, mysterious drifter who's 6'5" & drifts from town to town killing bad guys with one chop and making ladees pussies scream and yowl.
Instead we have that maniacal little midget with his soccer mom hips & his crazy eyes. Won't be seeing that one. And Lee Childs should be shot for greenlighting TC as the lead. Garrrump!
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You think you drank too much last night? Pffft.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2255587/New-Years-Eve-2012-Shame...
"Also, JRM was not only too short and skinny to play Henry VIII who was very tall and athletic, but Henry became quite corpulent with age, and Henry was a red-head."
Yeah. While the lack of gingerness annoyed me, JRM's daintiness bothered me more. Especially when Steven Waddington (a 6 foot plus red head) had a small part. And Natalie Dormer (Ann Boleyn) has bright blue eyes, even though AB was famous for having nearly black eyes. Oh well.
HockeyFan - ergh, that's a bummer about college hockey being so far away. Let's hope they can salvage some semblance of a season.
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It hurts because you let your black heart beat for an asshole who can't even send you a "P.S. I'm about to fuck a hole that doesn't belong to you" text before fucking said hole that doesn't belong to you.
Camon Badgers!! Grrrr....
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Submitted by kikichanelconspiracy on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 4:51pm.
Hockey - I thought they had to come to an agreement by the 2nd for any hope of salvaging the season? I guess we can still hold out for hope. Do they at least play college hockey in your neck of the woods? Sadly, they don't where I am :-/
^^^
There is some college hockey, but I'd have to drive over an hour to see it. We have jrs, but they only play on Friday/Saturday nights, and my Mrs. Hockey Fan (yeah, we're both girls) works till 8:30 both nights. And the guys we usually watch on Thursday nights (former pros, jrs and college players) haven't played for a couple of weeks. Back to the beer leagues, I guess. LOL
Submitted by kikichanelconspiracy on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 4:51pm.
Totally agree about Henry Cavill being the best thing about "Tudors". A gorgeous man.
Also, JRM was not only too short and skinny to play Henry VIII who was very tall and athletic, but Henry became quite corpulent with age, and Henry was a red-head. Elizabeth I inherited his famous red hair. Couldn't they at least put a ginge wig on JRM?
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Submitted by Migraineuse on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:22pm.
All females belong to the sex class; they are subhuman buckets for male incontinence.
Super fast drive-by fondles. Wanted to wish everyhooker a Happy New Year. Off to the grocery!
As a parting gift--crazy Minnesotans (mainly) doing crazy Minnesotan New Years Day shiite:
http://www.startribune.com/local/185353762.html
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Okay, which of you horz has already broken a New Year's resolution???
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Not hung over either! Junk food hangover maybe, but not booze.
Debating whether to go to the gym or not. I'm sure it will be packed with New Year's resolution people.
Second eggs for the hangover cure. My local deli was packed with sleepy hungover people trying to get their sausage egg n' cheese on a bagel this AM.
I didnt go out this NYE. Spent it indoors with the BF watching the X-Files (on season 5). Now we're watching Mankind: The Story of All of Us on the history channel. that shit is GOOD. It's better than the usual history channel fare.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 5:27pm.
Nah. Thursday.
Submitted by mike on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 5:20pm.
Happy New Years, fuckers! I'm predicting 2013 will be just as lackluster as 2012.
^^^^^^^^^^^^
2012 was excellent for me, praise God, and I expect 2013 to be even better.
You back home?
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Happy New Years, fuckers! I'm predicting 2013 will be just as lackluster as 2012.
*raises virtual glass to Dog's good health*
Here's looking at you, kid!
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Happy New Year, Moo!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
GELUKKIG NIEUWJAAR ALLEMAAL! <3
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Submitted by CashewTime. on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 4:57pm.
Feel better, hon. Hangovers are pure misery. You might also want to consider getting a little bit of exercise if possible. I don't know if it works for everyone, but I always feel better if I go for a walk. Not enough to make me sweat, I think it's probably the fresh air and blood circulation that works for me. These days, I'll do anything to avoid a hangover.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 4:58pm.
Yes, yes he is. Still am bewildered by JRM as Henry the VIII. Yes, because when I think of a man who was estimated have been 6'2-6'3 (a freaking giant in Elizabethian times) who had the physique of an athlete in his prime, I think of scrawny 5'9 *cough*doubtful*cough* cokey-eyed JRM. *Shakes head*
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It hurts because you let your black heart beat for an asshole who can't even send you a "P.S. I'm about to fuck a hole that doesn't belong to you" text before fucking said hole that doesn't belong to you.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 4:58pm.
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 3:27pm.
Submitted by didimao on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 3:14pm.
*raises paw*
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 1:10pm.
Raise your paw if you're NOT hungover!
*raise*
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I can raise my paw too. Getting sozzled on NYE lost it's appeal years ago. The hangover isn't worth it (plus you get to enjoy New Year's day more.)
^^
Considering today is the last day of my 11 day vacation, I mean to make the most of it by finishing the closet I started to straighten out this morning. If I get feisty enough, I'll make my daughter do the laundry.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 3:27pm.
Submitted by didimao on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 3:14pm.
*raises paw*
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 1:10pm.
Raise your paw if you're NOT hungover!
*raise*
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I can raise my paw too. Getting sozzled on NYE lost its appeal years ago. The hangover isn't worth it (plus you get to enjoy New Year's day more.)
Submitted by kikichanelconspiracy on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 4:51pm.
--
Yas! Henry Cavill is the freaking hotness!!! Nnow that's what I'm talking about. Yum yum yum!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
Submitted by kikichanelconspiracyon Tue, 01/01/2013 - 4:51pm.
Lol I was just about to make eggs. Good to know about the coffee. *runs from kiki with coffee cup*;)
"The Hockey News website said last week that the players are voting to disband the union...woo hoo! I jsut want to see a puck dropped SOMEWHERE!!!"
Hockey - I thought they had to come to an agreement by the 2nd for any hope of salvaging the season? I guess we can still hold out for hope. Do they at least play college hockey in your neck of the woods? Sadly, they don't where I am :-/
Happy New Year to MK, Sweetas, J.Harvey and the rest of the Dlisted gang.
Count me in the small pool of the non-hungover.
I can't remember who is into the show, but there's a Tudors marathon on BBC America. Henry Cavill is so smoking on this show.
Seconded on not getting into Downton Abbey. I watched the first three episodes and I thought it was just OK. I had not a single fuck to give for the stuck-up characters. If I wanted to know about the experience of Irish servants around the turn of the 20th century, I would have paid closer attention to my grandmother's stories about their mothers. Pass.
Cashew - PUT DOWN THE COFFEE! It dehydrates you, narrows your blood vessels and raises your blood pressure. It will only make your hangover worse! Try gatorade and egss. Yes, eggs. It has an enzyme in it that mitigates the effects of the chemicals released by your liver when it metabolizes alcohol.
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It hurts because you let your black heart beat for an asshole who can't even send you a "P.S. I'm about to fuck a hole that doesn't belong to you" text before fucking said hole that doesn't belong to you.
Ugh. I no feel too good. *checks phone.* yep, the texts are still there. Happy New Year everyone *raises coffee cup.*
Submitted by Hockey fan on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 4:10pm.
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 3:27pm.
Submitted by didimao on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 3:14pm.
*raises paw*
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 1:10pm.
Raise your paw if you're NOT hungover!
*raise*
^^^^^^^^^^
I were hungover once in my life. Never again.
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Dog, I was going to call you an amateur but actually you're very wise. I really have not had that many hangovers in my life-- luckily I know my limits-- but they get worse as you get older, mark my words. You are a paragon of virtue with this crowd.
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HAH! Not virtuous, I just don't like being sick and headachy and shaky.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 3:27pm.
Submitted by didimao on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 3:14pm.
*raises paw*
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 1:10pm.
Raise your paw if you're NOT hungover!
*raise*
^^^^^^^^^^
I were hungover once in my life. Never again.
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Dog, I was going to call you an amateur but actually you're very wise. I really have not had that many hangovers in my life-- luckily I know my limits-- but they get worse as you get older, mark my words. You are a paragon of virtue with this crowd.
Within, back at ya... *passes puck so I don't shoot it at Gary Bettman's face*
GG, I'll be right over. Even street hockey is better than nothing. And let me know about game time, although I know how long it takes men just to decide how to BBQ, so my expectations are fairly low.
I'm not hungover-- I was the DD-- but I have a houseful of kids who drank their asses off and now one is talking about getting fried chicken at Popeye's. I don't even want to eat anything. Oh and one's in the bathroom pretending not to barf while we yell comments at her. Ten bucks says she chokes on her own vomit.
Re: the elephant-- we got pumpkin'ed at Halloween. We woke up to find those mini baby pumpkins all over our driveway, set out in neat little rows. It took two years to find out it was one of our daughter's friends who did it. Best part? He stole them from a CHURCH pumpkin patch. LOLZ. Good times.
I love all your horz and your great stories.
Oh me too. It is a horrible feeling.
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 3:27pm.
Submitted by didimao on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 3:14pm.
*raises paw*
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 1:10pm.
Raise your paw if you're NOT hungover!
*raise*
^^^^^^^^^^
I were hungover once in my life. Never again.
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What in the praying mantis crackhooker hell is this?! - MK 9/09
Submitted by didimao on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 3:14pm.
*raises paw*
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 1:10pm.
Raise your paw if you're NOT hungover!
*raise*
^^^^^^^^^^
I were hungover once in my life. Never again.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by bambam on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 3:11pm.
--
Yup, by the time you come back it'll be all crap on tv again, never fails.
Hope the day/night (and more importantly, morning) was good for everyone else as well.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 3:10pm.
Bigbendy, just plaster the town with posters for a rave and put their address on it.
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GG, haha.....perfect. Unfortunately we still don't know the identity of the criminal. I'm thinking I need Detective LaToya on this case.
*raises paw*
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 01/01/2013 - 1:10pm.
Raise your paw if you're NOT hungover!
*raise*
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What in the praying mantis crackhooker hell is this?! - MK 9/09
Too bad I got stuff to do. I flipped thru the channels and there's a Jerry Lewis/Dean Martin movie on, The Three Stooges w/Shemp (almost as good as Curly was), Buck and the Preacher w/Sidney Poitier and Harry Belafonte, Demolition Man w/Sly Stallone and Wesley Snipes and The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas w/Burt and Dolly. Good lord Dolly, what did you do to yourself?
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HTTR
Bigbendy, just plaster the town with posters for a rave and put their address on it.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Happy New Year to you and yours little_rascal! Here's to better days!
The toilet incedent wasn't our most sober moment. :/
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012