Channing Tatum And His Boner In St. Barts
One of my duties as a guest blogger for DListed is to report on celebrity peen whenever and wherever it pops up. It was in my contract. Lindsay Lohan could kick Katt Williams in the asshole in front of Buckingham Palace, and a peen post would still come first. I would be doing a disservice to my boss Michael K. if I dropped the ball(s) on this one. That's Channing Tatum, his pregnant wife Jenna Dewan-Tatum, and what could be his erect penis lounging on the beach.
It's possible I just have boners on the brain. That could just be the way his shorts are bunching. He could have a really big helmet on that soldier and it's just at ease. Maybe that's a hermit crab hiding out. Or maybe it's a THROBBING STIFFIE! Or at least a semi. You decide.
And yes, I totally would. Sure he's got a face like ham, and he won't get off of our movie screens. Seriously, it's like he's in a competition with Olivia Wilde to win the "Marginally Talented Actor To Appear In The Most Movies" trophy. However, he's pale and beefy and I can always just sit on his mug to hide it.
He also reminds me of several shady types that I know from Southie who will snatch your iPhone to sell for Perocets. All he's missing is a Sox jersey, a Fighting Irish tattoo, and coke dick. Hometown boys are the hottest. I consider coke dick to be a character-building challenge. Just keep an eye on your purse with those types.
Check out more pics of Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan-Tatum on the beach at St. Barts in the gallery.
Splash
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I know someone will skewer me. When I first saw 'Step Up', I thought it was typical dance movie crud, but that Channing really stood out. I had never seen him before and was like, "This guy is gonna get big." He seems kinda normal and down to earth, too. People that say he's got too much of a ham face/body are kind of full of it because in real life, he's probably wayyyy fitter than most people's husbands/boyfriends.
At the same time, I fully support judging man bodies as harshly as we do women, so I say hate on!
And I obviously WOULD.
Saw her in a lifetime movie last night. She played a crazy bitch very well. I didn't know it was her at first.
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Lmao I saw the movie too. I kinda enjoyed her and the movie.
lol he screwed up the dance in that video. love the kat
Since Channing is an obvious homosexual, the boner could only have been caused by Channing catching sight of some extremely hot man-stuff on the beach!
where (and when) did this guy spring from?
cable tv keeps playing some movie (The Eagle??) and i have caught 10 minutes here and there. he did not seem terrible from that. buthaven't been able to sit thru from beginning to end
anyway he in particular
just *seems like he sprang from nowhere to suddenly making 100 movies per year for the last 3 years?
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"I (almost) never look back, darling. It distracts from The Now."
= Edna 'E' Mode
My sister named her wiener dog after him......Che tae.
He has a weird face to me.
It's smart that he's open about his stripper past. So many celebrities have a similar past but they hide it.
Don't all or must guys look like they have a boner when they're out in the sun because the heat dilates the blood vessels down there?
Meh.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Wonder what got him so excited? All the sexy men on the beach?
if i had jenna dewan i'd have a permanent boner
that chick is GROSS
Saw her in a lifetime movie last night. She played a crazy bitch very well. I didn't know it was her at first.
I was wrong.
............................................
there goes my breakfast.
*vom*
Submitted by winniwins on Sun, 12/30/2012 - 3:23pm.
Thanks, Hekki! But wait.......he really was a STRIPPER? Like, in real life? No way then. Uh uh. Reneg. God! The more I know about a celebrity the less I would actually do. I'm down to five. One hand in all of celebrityville. Is it too early for a cocktail?
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Well Magic Mike was inspired by stories he told Steven Sodderberg while filming Haywire. It's not meant to be autobiographical, but just set in the world that he actually came from. And you can find some old youtube videos of his stripper days haha.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkG1jfUr3hQ
Twat Muffin- Cool.I don't think thats weird.
Cosign on Olivia wilde.
I think they are really cute together. Would I hit it? I honestly can't say for sure.
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There might have been a time when I would let you slip away
I wouldn't even try
But I think you could save my life
Peepsdragon -- it's nice to hear that Channing was a nice guy when you met him. Not that he's a similar type of guy, but a million years ago I met actor Joe Mantegna (who's a fellow Chicagoan). He is the nicest guy and quite cute in person. I will always be fond of him after that. I also met Dana Carvey -- same thing, nicest guy you'd want to meet. But the weird thing about Joe Mantegna is that I always had a thing for him prior to meeting him. Now that I've met him, it's like he's untouchable, I can't think of him that way anymore, isn't that weird?
And for my peeps who hate Olivia Wilde -- I second that, I can't stand that fucking bitch!!! Her looks are so overrated! Her & that man jaw of hers, her practically concave tits, and nonexistent acting talent. She ruined "House" IMO.
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
"LEAVE THE COUNTRY BEARS ALLLLLOOONEEEE!!!!"
-- christine the hoff
Why do we give him so much goddamn money? He's no different than a Kardashian. There are so many more talented actors.
@winniwins - there are amateur stripper vids of him on YouTube.
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Lucifer_Sam: "Do you EVER post anything worthwhile on this site? Do you EVER have a point to make?" In case anyone else was wondering, the answer is "No."
Wow! I had no idea. Thanks;)
I would not.
He does have that Boston Boy look. Yummy.
J Harvey is my favorite guest blogger after this post!
I seriously dont see the hate for him. He's harmless.I cant hate him anymore ever since I met him in NY. He was super nice and chill. Ever since then I root for Charming Potato. Congrats on the baby
Yes I would hit that hard
Thanks, Hekki! But wait.......he really was a STRIPPER? Like, in real life? No way then. Uh uh. Reneg. God! The more I know about a celebrity the less I would actually do. I'm down to five. One hand in all of celebrityville. Is it too early for a cocktail?
Winniwins can do him for me. He seems like an okay guy. A little bro-ish for my taste, and I feel like he trots out his stripper past too much, but he hasn't done anything objectionable. I tend to get these two mixed up with Megan Fox and David Silver.
I simply CANNOT STAND Olivia Wilde. Talk about a person who has turned being married to an Italian Prince and being on "House" a career! Bitch, please. Have a velvet-covered seat.
As far as Channing & Jenna, I think they're cute; I like how they met; and now we can see how Il Bebe came into being. (sorry, I don't have that "fancy setting shit" on my laptop...and if I do, I've no idea how to use it. sue me.)
Submitted by boomsy on Sun, 12/30/2012 - 2:57pm.
I'm not sure why, but for some reason these pictures bother me as far as invasion of privacy is concerned. I'd be pissed if I left the country to get away from it all and still had people tracking my every move...
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And you really think they didn't know they would be photographed here HAHA. Every single holiday season there are always celebs photographed at St. Barts, it is pretty much known for being a place celebs go to get papped on vacation. There are thousands of islands and private resorts in the world and somehow they all end up at the one that has international paparazzi by mistake?
Not sure what's hot about him except his body when he's on screen. Maybe he'll surprise us all one day and take on a role that's totally against his already type-cast.
I'm not fond of fair haired men. That being said, I would. I would again and again for any of you who wouldn't. I'd even do it for those of you on the cusp.
"a Sox jersey, a Fighting Irish tattoo, and coke dick"
J. Harvey, you haz met my ex?
Educate yourself on the badass, not-fuck-giving honeybadger, Olivia! ~MK
I'm not sure why, but for some reason these pictures bother me as far as invasion of privacy is concerned. I'd be pissed if I left the country to get away from it all and still had people tracking my every move...
Uh-huh....I knew I should have stowed away to St. Bart's. Dammit.
Jenna looks like she is enjoying letting her tummy pop out. One of the only times in life it's acceptable. Soak it in, hun. :)
* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
I think he's crazy hot. That first scene of his in Magic Mike, where he's standing in the washroom..... such a perfect body.
And he seems like he's funny.
Oh please, like any of you wouldn't do him in a heartbeat. As for why he's mass marketed, it's just the white suburban football player appeal. Same reason so many blond actresses are. I don't mind this one at all. He seems nice enough *shrug.*
"He also reminds me of several shady types that I know from Southie who will snatch your iPhone to sell for Perocets. All he's missing is a Sox jersey, a Fighting Irish tattoo, and coke dick."
Ahahahaha truth.
Meh and THIS is People's "Sexiest Man Alive"?!
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Someone by the bar keeps looking at us dancing. I see him starring at me, I see what he wants be
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>:- (
Mr. Mercury ♥
Leave his bone alone!
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Mmmm conch fritters.
LOL @ "it's like he's in a competition with Olivia Wilde to win the 'Marginally Talented Actor To Appear In The Most Movies' trophy."
Even his name--and hers--sounds durr.
I think he is just innately likable for all the same reasons somebody like Anne Hathaway is innately annoying. He seems very chill and secure in himself and fun-loving, whereas Hathaway seems like an uptight tattle-tale desperate for approval.
I've read before that he doesn't bother to maintain his work out schedule when he isn't working, which shows his body is more about his understanding of his role in Hollywood (dumb beefcake) and less about his own vanity.
Submitted by annobanano on Sun, 12/30/2012 - 2:09pm.
Someone splain what's supposed to be so hot about him.
Ditto. I'm not going to be outlandish and say he's ugly because he's not but he isn't hot either. Women seem to go crazy over this guy though. Is he really nice and that skews their perception? Because sweet/caring guys are definitely a plus and I get that.
Personally, I can deal with coke dick. It's coke breath that's the killer.
"It's possible I just have boners on the brain"
LOL don't most guys have a morning boner?
I think they are a sweet couple though.
Someone splain what's supposed to be so hot about him.
Total derp face, but I still would.
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Lucifer_Sam: "Do you EVER post anything worthwhile on this site? Do you EVER have a point to make?" In case anyone else was wondering, the answer is "No."