Katt Williams Is The Gift That Keeps Giving And Giving And Giving And Giving…
LieLow better step up her fuck-up game, because Katt Williams is after her battered and bruised trophy. Just hours after he was released from jail for child endangerment charges, Katt hopped right back on the crazy train, hooked up with his manager Suge Knight and got his Keebler elf ass in a massive bar brawl. YES!!! THIS is how you celebrate the holidays RIGHT, bitches!
Actually, from the ass kicking video (a must see, along with his Target meltdown) you can see that Suge was the one who was throwing fists while Katt ran his ass behind a dumpster, as runt alley Katts are inclined to do when protecting the few lives they have left. Then Katt jumped in Suge’s SUV and Suge tried to mow down a parking lot full of people.
In yet another TMZ video, a guy is claiming that the SUV DID run him over and he wants Katt to pay for all his medical shit because his sawed off ass is the one who started the whole thing. The guy limped up to the reporters and said:
“Katt Williams is a punk. You talk shit and run? You a punk .. You taking all that shit, and you talk about you all that, and you run? Because of you, I got hit by the car!”
What a fucking mess. Hanging with Suge though, surely Katt didn’t expect to spend a lovely relaxing evening playing chess by the crackling fireplace while sipping Dom with his pinky extended. Dude doesn’t exactly have a reputation for keeping things calm and sophisticated.
TMZ (thanks TMZ for the one-stop shopping) also has video and a write-up from last night where a fresh out of the pokey Katt explains that his guns were on lock down and the illegal drug the cops are smoking in the evidence room as we speak was just weed, and not the hard shit. Um, okay Katt. Weed makes you too lazy to slap and run over tricks, you just want to eat them instead. But I guess we’ll take your word for it.
I don’t know why I wasted my Christmas bonus on toys for my kids when I could have just gotten them a Katt instead. He’s pocket sized and endlessly entertaining. Perfect. Thank you Katt, for making us all feel better about our lives and giving me something to write about besides Christina Hendricks’s hair. I hope you get your shit together, but I still have love for you.