Hulk Hogan Is Opening A Breastaraunt
Florida is the land where PCP zombies eat people's faces, Christian Slater's importance isn't recognized, and true beauty is found. It will now have a state restaurant because prototypical Sunshine State resident Hulk Hogan is opening an eatery. Brooke Hogan must need a job, and personal buttocks masseuse to her father has probably taken a John Travolta-esque turn for the worse by now. It's going to be one of those places where the waitresses dress like perky whores, and use their tits to distract you from the fact that the food tastes like shit. Hence the term (via The Huffington Post) "breastaraunt."
[Sidenote - It should be noted that the food at those places is bogus except for the chicken wings at Hooters. Holy Jeezum, those are good. My other fag-o-trons and I often go there just for the wings. We have to use the table tent to shield our eyes from all the orange nyloned cameltoe while we eat, though.]
"Hogan's Beach" is opening on New Year's Eve in Tampa Bay, so I urge you to call for reservations now or download some sort of app to do it in case the line is busy.
He told the Tampa Bay Times that it's "going to be Jimmy Buffett's [Margaritaville] times 10; Hooters times 10" with Hulk Hogan shit on the walls like it was T.G.I.Fuckhead's. It will also feature "a mechanical shark ride, volleyball courts, fire pits, cabanas and tiki huts."
You know, the purpose of this post was to bag on Hulk Hogan's burn victim tits' opening a restaurant. But getting shitfaced and watching drunken Floridian fupa queens break their asses being hurled from a mechanical shark might be a good time. I'm in. I'll just stick to the assuredly overpriced drinks. You can assume that the food is on par with a Guy Fieri venture.
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It sounds like "Dollywood" but without Dolly. And isn't her place a legit amusement park? I'd visit Dolly I just never happen to be passing through Tickfall Tennessee.
His nipples offend me.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
And Hulk will file for bankruptcy 5 minutes after the doors of that health code violation waiting to happen opens its doors.
when will this wop with a mop for hair be claimed by a meth od?
Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 12/28/2012 - 11:56pm.
8 HOURS!! That is too much. The whole visit sounds exhausting.
deep fried everything, just like the owner.
Beef jerky jokes almost write themselves.. Almost.
I'd say I'm surprised by this but the truth is I heard it in a song while I was sleeping upside down in my daughter's closet.- Dog
Looking at that his skin in that photo, I suggest to him that he avoid putting fried potato peels on the menu.
Louise: They just left (they were here for 8 hours!). The kid wasn't too bad today. Seriously, we were all dreading it and she was much better than the last two times we saw her this month.
Toward the end she started getting physical with Eldest - they were doing "karate" and I was like, whatever, because Eldest is strong and tough and knows better than to tangle with Psycho. But no one got hurt. She did a few of her "let's gang up on ___" and threw some toys, but it went a lot better than I expected.
Thanks for asking!
I was trying to make up my mind whether or not to go to FL this winter and this clenched it for me
Hekki- LMAO!! BTW, people in OP were wondering how your day with the 7 y/o sociopath went.
Louise: I think he looks like an angry penis. An enRAGED penis.
ETA: Especially his arms.
Hekki- that he has an angry penis or his penis will be angry or he's an angry masturbator like Marky Mark?
Fag-o-trons??? Hahahaha. Fucking awesome!
First thought: Angry penis.
jfc... his nipples make my soul dry heave.
Do you think that the wings they serve will be as burnt and leathery as his skin looks?
Oh no - not in Tampa. Thanks a lot for bringing the trash here.
..and there goes the last of his fortune. it's gonna be really fun to see this family broke in 5 years.
J Harvey lol tgi FUCKHEADS ! Hehe ;-))
"If it were socially acceptable I would esconce myself in velvet. " George Costanza
There is no god.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Does Hulk really smoke pole?
No thanks.
I found the wings at Hooter's to be terribly overrated. Way too oily. Buffalo Wild Wings has got the goods if you want good wings.
As for this dried up leathery old turd, who gives a shit.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
I hope J.Harvey was joking about hooters having good wings, because their wings are fucking HORRIBLE! When I first read the title to this, I thought this had to do with Hulk Hogan opening a breastfeeding friendly restaraunt.
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"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."
Never been to a Hooters either.
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I like to smile, smiling's my favorite! : )
The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
Fuck HuffPo and their librul sexist bullshit. They're every bit as shitty as the right-wing nutjob sexists.
I think we can all agree here that the mechanical shark ride is the only thing that matters. I want one of those. Also a moat full of robot crocodiles.
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Submitted by Darknight on Fri, 11/09/2012 - 4:27pm.
THE TRUTH. Making the world a better place.
GUHHHH! He is about 9 layers of GRODY!!! This man has squicked me the hell out since the nanosecond he arrived on the scene.
1. He's a pro-wrestler. GROSS (yes, I hate everything about pro-wrestling, because it's gross and the people who watch it scare the shit out of me)
2. Red-and-yellow is my most HATED color combo. It just screams of McDonalds (which is also gross)
3. His gross red skin
4. The name "Hulk."
5. adding "mania" to already-gross "Hulk."
6. I saw his wanger in that video! I watched that! Oh i feel so gross
Tonicbitch -- I just can't with his permanently hard albino nips -- they're so gross!!!
M.E. -- I've never been to Hooters either & proud of it!
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
"LEAVE THE COUNTRY BEARS ALLLLLOOONEEEE!!!!"
-- christine the hoff
Well if there are pictures of him on the walls than they should market it as a weight loss restaurant because a lot of people will loose their appetites.
I've never been to a Hooters.
Anita
I'm sorry to say I saw the sex tape. It's every bit as hideous, gropey, saggy old man with trollop young wife pumping on his senior citizen dick for a few minutes and her husband watches and tapes it.
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Dark-sided!
omg...i haven't had hooters wings in years...we're NOT worthy of loose vagines in orange shorty shorts in my area of town...
meanwhile hogans's "skin" reminds me of hillshire farms smoked sausage...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
I'm renaming it Vom-o-rama. This man and his spawn are beyond disgusting.
* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
Oxygen, it's okay, they can't afford to hunt him down right now.
My 17 year old son's mission statement is to get inside one of these bewbtastic dens of iniquity.
How come Hulk's nips aren't extra-sized like the rest of him?
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This is on my must-go-to list. I'm gonna go to this. I'm gonna ride the shark. YES!
J. Harvey, you had me at "fag-o-tron". I'd ride that.
He's sooo icky.
HIS NIPPLES.
LMMFAO @ GingeMinge..."Hogan's Gyros"
Although, I think the greek's might have a problem with that
will foot long tan shriveled wieners be on the menu?
I have an unhealthy addiction to hooters wings...I need help
Ordinarily I'd say it's doomed to fail, but never underestimate Floridians (and, I guess, Florida tourists).
No tanning booths?
LOL @ "Hogan's Gyros."
I'm stuck in a town near Tampa. Maybe I'll check out the restaurant just for kicks.
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"Two whores don't make a right"-- M.K.
"Any guy who values stick thin and young over smarts and personality isn't worth it and has NOTHING interesting to say anyway."-- Mrs. Kravitz
Submitted by louise_brooks on Fri, 12/28/2012 - 4:47pm.
D-E-V-O
"adjusts Depends, shuffles off to craft room"
He sucks.
Oooh, rich Corinthian leather.
I'm sure beef jerky is on the menu.
Anita Bidet -- I read the play-by-play of the sex tape, that was nauseating enough. He makes my stomach turn, he's so revolting. I used to work with a woman who thought he was the sex.
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
"LEAVE THE COUNTRY BEARS ALLLLLOOONEEEE!!!!"
-- christine the hoff
J HARVEY IS FAT
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.