Fuck Off, Weight Watchers

December 27, 2012 / Posted by:

With a belly full of baby #2, Jessica Simpson has announced that she’s going off of her Weight Watchers diet for now. DUH. (Read: Jessica got knocked up again just so she could belly up to the Golden Corral buffet without WW’s being all up in her face about it. “FUCK a bunch of three million dollars, FOOD, bitches!!!” – Jessica) In a statement, Weight Watchers wished her luck with her new family while holding their middle fingers up under the table and threw her no public shade for her decision.

From Yahoo! News:

“It’s wonderful news and we couldn’t be happier for Jessica, Eric [Johnson] and big sister-to-be Maxwell,” Cheryl Callan, Senior Vice President of Marketing at Weight Watchers, said in a statement on Wednesday.

I say if you’re Jessica Simpson, and can afford to turn down $3 million while burping out babies and Arby’s curly fries, more power to you. And who the hell wants to diet while they’re pregnant, except for do-goody moms who actually follow doctor’s instructions?? YUCK. I mean, she already lost over 50 pounds from her first pregnancy that ended a week ago, what the hell do you want from her?? On a related note, PopTarts, Country Crock, and Krispy Kreme stock just shot through the roof. Seriously, pregnant women are not supposed to be on Weight Watchers, as is emblazoned across the bottorm of the screen at the end of this not-redneck-at-all video where Jessica announces she’s only quitting FOR NOW.

And here are a couple more pics of Jessica walking on the beach in Hawaii with her baby daddy Eric Johnston while she is coyly covering her baby bump. If Michael K wants to see her in person, he should just follow the trail of empty Entenmann’s boxes.

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