Married People Don't Act Like This
Normally when I see bitches making out in public, my lonely, bitter ass side eyes the shit out of them and mumbles "get a room" into my cheap light beer. But somehow these pics of Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi hugging each other up on the beach in St. Barts aren't bothering me. They're even kind of...romantic and cute? Ugh, slap me.
After the "I hate your ass" pictures of Kim and Kanye and the MEH shots of Jennifer and Justin over the past couple of days, it's nice to see a couple looking like they actually have a damn to give about each other. Not you, Chris and Riri, sit your asses down. Look at them, lovingly holding hands and playing in the surf like a couple of kids. And now I'm off to barf my guts up from the sickening sweet shit I just wrote. I think the holiday spirit has wrecked my brains.
Wait. Gossip Cop (quoting the National Enquirer so you know it's FACT) says that because of Ellen's career, the couple is being driven apart. So, this is an obvious attempt by them to trick us all into believing that their love is twuuuuue and they're not slap fighting as soon as the cameras of off. Ah, suspicion and contempt. That feels better.
Bauer Griffin
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They are definitely such a great couple here. So much that you can get from them both here. I hope they live a long and happy life here. Facial Cosmetic Surgery
I love these two but where is Ellen's boner in all these lusty shots?
I like them both a lot, but this is so not like them.
I hope they don't break up. I like Ellen.
Was anybody reporting that they were on the rocks? I'm behind on my muck-reading, so I really don't know.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Pr stunt. Ellen is looking around to see where the paps are. When the press starts reporting your on the rocks, whats a girl to do? whore herself and partner out for a few spontaneous loving pics.
Ok, Ellen holds her hand too tight in public and she must be jealous and controlling, so the rags say their marriage is on the rocks. Three weeks later they are seen shopping separately prior to the holidays and they are on the rocks because they aren't up each others hoohahs. Now they are seen holding hands and smooching, and they are obviously trying too hard and so must be, you guessed it, on the rocks. Historical photos show these two are pretty famous for having their hands all over each other, so I don't think the beach frolic was staged.
I've been married very happily nearly 25 yrs. (no kids, this may be a factor?! ha ha) Anyway, we still hold hands most of the time when we are out, and while I feel shy to display overt affection in public, my wife will certainly smooch all over me in the mall or anyplace that strikes her fancy. Why, I don't know, but she likes to tease me like that. I just turn red and grin, pretty much like what Ellen is doing in the photos, but feel too shy (or I might pop wood) and don't kiss her back.
My opinion? They have a happy solid marriage based on real love and not drama. That is what marriage is supposed to look like, we've just forgotten it. Now and then I'll spot an old couple holding onto each other and smooching in public. Rarer as time goes on. I think part of the reason I like this couple so much is that they look like the lesbian version of my own marriage. It looks very 'normal' to me and I think that is important.
Submitted by walker51 on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 7:35pm.
Ellen is so butch - why doesn't she just have the surgery an be done with it.
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You got anything you'd think twice about cutting off?
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www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Ellen is so butch - why doesn't she just have the surgery an be done with it.
Submitted by Cookie_Monster_ on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 4:40pm.
Why is the thing on the right trying to look like a man?
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To piss you off and it obviously worked.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Cookie_Monster_ on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 4:40pm.
Why is the thing on the right trying to look like a man?
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So, she will look more credible when puts on her strap on.
yeah, sorry this looks like totally staged PDA. They are even looking at the cameras on some pics.
That aint Ellen.
That's Papa Joe Simpson.
;-)
This is exactly what Jessica did right before she left Nick. Exactly!
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"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."
Substitute a heterosexual couple of your choice (the Brange, Justin and Jennifer, Jello and whoever it is, Eddie and Falcor, etc), look at the crowd at the beach, and it's an obviously staged PDA. If they'd done it where a pap had to use a really powerful camera to get the pics, I might buy it but where they are? No.
I hope they don't break up. They've always seemed very much in love.
LOL @ Cookie_Monster! I was gonna say, ooofah, she's such a man! haha
Why is the thing on the right trying to look like a man?
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I hope your free abortions are worth it because your daughter, your daughter's daughter, and your daughter's daughter's daughter will be paying for them throughout the next couple of centuries. If America still exists.~ pf
Doll-Parts, that was brilliant.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
It's always fun to watch Ellen try to be masculine. Slightly nauseating. Yet, they look happy.
I'd go gay for Ellen any day. She is just too funny.
Submitted by Mel-Tang on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 3:35pm.
Trying too hard with the pda. Divorce is upon them. And Ellen looks like she has her guard up in a few pics. The main one she is pulling away.
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Yup. I like 'em and all (De Rossi's biography is very good) but try hard PDAs is try hard PDAs.
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 2:09pm.
Why wouldn't they be all lovey dovey? They don't have any kids to ruin it.
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It's true. Childless people stay married longer.
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Not being facetious at all, truly wondering why people think kids are marriage killers? I feel like I would be more willing to stick through a crappy time in a marriage if there were kids involved than if not.
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Absolutely. You make even more effort to get through the trying times in a marriage because of your "family". I think children bring a depth of love that you didn't know existed pre-children and that depth results in an intimacy that takes you love to a whole new level.
Submitted by Trixster on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 3:31pm.
Submitted by TrashyWilma on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 3:08pm.
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 2:09pm.
Why wouldn't they be all lovey dovey? They don't have any kids to ruin it.
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It's true. Childless people stay married longer.
That's actually not true. Sure, there are some studies that say that, but there are any number of studies showing the exact opposite. It's not based in fact. Too many variables (like whether you enjoy your children or find them a source of stress, etc, ad nauseum).
Submitted by Versailles on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 1:59pm.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking. All the tabloids responded to the pictures of them with "Oh, they're so in love! It's a second honeymoon! They're having babies! He doesn't care about Angelina at all! Their marriage is perfect!" and BAM! Divorce right afterwards.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Ellen annoys me but this is sweet :)
I thought at first this was one of the NSync dudes. I like Ellen and Portia. Aren't all Hollywood relationships staged? It's just one giant photo op.
Trying too hard with the pda. Divorce is upon them. And Ellen looks like she has her guard up in a few pics. The main one she is pulling away.
* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
These pictures are worrying. Celeb couples who engage in PDA in front of cameras and publicly frolic often have a breakup impending, specially if they DON'T usually do that.
Hopefully I am wrong.
Submitted by Trixster on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 3:31pm.
It's the false assumption that if you don't have any kids, then you won't have to deal with any of the unsexy unromantic stuff, and your marriage will be one long happy song.
Course, you don't get any of the happiness or emotional development that comes with kids either.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
For a moment, I thought the Professor was having an affair with Mrs. Thurston Howell III, then I noticed Gilligan wasn't on the Island.
Submitted by TrashyWilma on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 3:08pm.
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 2:09pm.
Why wouldn't they be all lovey dovey? They don't have any kids to ruin it.
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It's true. Childless people stay married longer.
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Not being facetious at all, truly wondering why people think kids are marriage killers? I feel like I would be more willing to stick through a crappy time in a marriage if there were kids involved than if not.
Submitted by Doll-Parts on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 3:23pm.
White linen...the warmth of the sun...sunblock...promises...red of betrayal...across my face and...arms...the waves...the click if the camera...dreaming...of coming home...to a big box of fresh phallus...vibrating...deep...double penetration...my soul and my bank account...you stare...at the flowered ass...like you promised to stare only...flowers...of our wedding...tears...salt spray...on my cheeks you will not kiss
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I was just taking a break from penning some wedding vows for my upcoming vow renewal ceremony with my husband... PROBLEM SOLVED! So thank you!
God, I love Dlisted!
Well, Ellen was constantly smiling at the camera, so...
Puke worthy..........
White linen...the warmth of the sun...sunblock...promises...red of betrayal...across my face and...arms...the waves...the click if the camera...dreaming...of coming home...to a big box of fresh phallus...vibrating...deep...double penetration...my soul and my bank account...you stare...at the flowered ass...like you promised to stare only...flowers...of our wedding...tears...salt spray...on my cheeks you will not kiss
"This world is a whore."
Somehow I don't think Ellen has any need for the late-in-life vanity spawn à la Elton. Hope not anyway.
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"End well: this isn't going to." - MK
Thanks y'all. I'm glad I wasn't the only one who thought this was some Swedish metro dude on the beach at first glance. Sorry, Ellen.
They look happy but I'm seriously over all the faux caught-up-in-the-moment PDAs. It's not like the hoard of paps are lurking in the bushes.
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"Look at this lamb, I'm going to make condoms out of it so that you can ride me until your pussy says 'baaaaaah.'"
~ASkars as channeled by Michael K
Really?
I wrote an article a couple of years ago and my research showed that divorce rates between married with kids and married without kids was about equal.
Marrieds without kids do eat more healthfully though!
Hekki, your Nick Rhoades comment cracked me up! So 1980s Duran Duran!
Ellen is looking all around to see who is looking at her and kind of looks staged. Hmmm.
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 2:09pm.
Why wouldn't they be all lovey dovey? They don't have any kids to ruin it.
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It's true. Childless people stay married longer.
I like these two...Portia was funny as hell on Arrested Development. I hope they stay together, and if they eventually break up, they don't start Twatter wars and writing shitty poetry.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Really though, how do you make anything look UN-staged when there's an army of paps following you around?
Anyway, I think it's great that Ellen's made such a spectacular comeback from both the post-coming-out period when she couldn't get arrested AND the trainwreck with that fauxdyke slunt Anne Heche. Talk about the last laugh!
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"End well: this isn't going to." - MK
Ugh. Jodie's concrete tits have humped all over Dlisted and brokeded it; I'm having problems loading the site.
*tantrums*
Don't care about Ellen and Portia. Just want to see her in the Arrested Development movie.
Submitted by salacious on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 2:04pm.
I don't know if these are staged, but I have to barf after seeing anyone who thinks wearing a white linen clothes at the beach is cool. Where did that stupid fucking idea came from?
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Ugh. My sister and BIL. They take pics like that every year and act like they're so original.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Why wouldn't they be all lovey dovey? They don't have any kids to ruin it.
Submitted by RandéSleepover: "If you didn't know who they are, you'd just think it's an androgynous Swedish guy and his wife PDAing on the beach."
I was thinking Nick Rhodes. Was NOT expecting Ellen.
i need for ellen and portia to stay together...i don't know what i would do if they break up and portia starts blogging/bad poetry writing about how she isn't getting $30K a month in alimony...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
They're cute.
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One thing I think you should know
I ain't gonna miss you when you go
Been down so long
I've been tossed around enough
Couldn't you just
Let me go down and do my stuff
I DON'T MIND DYKES AS LONG AS THEY DON'T SHOVE THEIR TWATS IN EACH OTHER'S FACES IN PUBLIC OR IN FRONT OF MY KIDS, FUCKING DISGUSTING
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
I hope they stay together. I love Ellen. I think she is beautiful.
I don't know if these are staged, but I have to barf after seeing anyone who thinks wearing a white linen clothes at the beach is cool. Where did that stupid fucking idea came from?
Yeah, sadly I agree that these look staged.