Bai Ling Went Potty

December 26, 2012 / Posted by:

Oh Bai Ling. I feel you, girl. We ALL make that face when we have to enter a Port-A-Potty. It’s why I hold it to the last possible moment. I’d rather an internal organ burst in a piss explosion than go in one of those. And I’m a guy. What do you ladies do? Hover your ass over it? Humans shouldn’t endure such degradation.

Bai’s crazy extraterrestrial ass gifted the world with her holiday hotness at a Christmas tree lot in Hollywood. Spectators were treated to a virtual panorama of sexy Yultetide poses. Every kick of her glitter-encrusted stripper heels brought humanity new shades of emotion for Christmas. Bitch brought you every color from the insanity crayon box:

“Is There Ghost In My Shithouse?”
“I Made Stinky, Yay!”
“I Wonder What I Should Get The Vaccum Cleaner For Christmas?”
“Shoes Hurt.”
“You Will Not Steal The Soul Of My Phone!”

I love this bitch. According to Flame Flynet, her latest movie is one of those direct-to-DVD messes that are bunk-ass replicas of big-budget flicks. Her latest one was called Age Of The Hobbits until the studio (the Kodak desk at Walgreens) got sued. Now it’s called Clash Of The Empires. I hope to Christ that she plays Galadriel. Cate Blanchett hasn’t got shit on this elvish space queen.

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