Merry Christmas, Here's Justin Theroux's Nipples (And Aniston's Crotch)
So much for the 489th rumor that Jennifer Aniston is knocked up with the final sign of the apocalypse, because here she is in Cabo with a flat stomach and I don't see a fetus foot dangling out of her crotch. This Christmas, Jennifer Aniston is blinding people within a 40-mile radius of Cabo with the bright ass rays shooting off of her 89-carat diamond hitchin' ring and she's doing tequila shots out of Justin Theroux's cum gutters. I'm just going to point out three quick things about these pictures:
1. While Jennifer Aniston puts some heat on her ice pick nipples, she lies in the birthing position, because you can never practice too much and you never know when the BABY OF YOUR DREAMS might pop out of there. I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant happens in real life sometimes.
2. Is Justin Theroux serious with those jorts and newsboy cap? Justin is in Cabo, bitch isn't at a summer barbecue on a rooftop on Avenue B. You know at least once during their trip, he'll ask a waiter, "Tienes Pabst?"
3. SmartWater is SadWater today, because Jennifer Aniston is cheating on it with what looks like Fiji.
And as for Justin, fugly jorts and all, I still would.
• 
I had such a slobbering wide-on for him in Mullholland Drive. I still think he's hot to look at, but the fact that he's into Jennifer Aniston turns me off. She's boring so he must be boring too. Oh well.
I've always thought Jennifer Aniston was the most boringest ho around. She's always been so "meh" to me. Average looks, average movies, average everything. Brad Pitt made her what she was and that scandal helped her celebrity status but without it she would've been eh... She could've rocked it like Nicole Kidman did and picked out some awesome movie roles and landed her an Oscar but she picked the stupidest movies to do after her divorce **************
"I do not drink, do drugs, or lie" --Lindsay Lohan 2007
Submitted by cheray on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 5:14am.
Cum gutters????????What the hell are cum gutters????
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The taint?
Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 12:01am.
Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 2:42am.
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Agree. Both posts. Well done.
That looks boring. I can see why celeb couples don't last long, because beside their narcissism they have sooo much free time. Probably just get bored with each other. I mean, I love my husband but if all we did was shop and lounge around the pool together, I'd go nuts. I had a taste of that, when I was unemployed. The husband and I watched a lot of TV together, went on some weekend trips. But too much leisure time was turning mah brain into oatmeal.
short, stubby legs? um, that would be Britney. Not JA.
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One thing I think you should know
I ain't gonna miss you when you go
Been down so long
I've been tossed around enough
Couldn't you just
Let me go down and do my stuff
Submitted by Flynn on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 2:23am.
http://sockpuppettheatre.com/video/jennifer-anistons-beauty-tips/
SO funny! Thanks for this!
Imagine the tan lines when hes naked.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 10:23am.
Submitted by literarylioness on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 1:28am. I think his ink is pretty cheap looking. How come people with money don't spend their money on good ink? St. Angie is just as bad with her cheap looking tats. I love tats, but I pay for good ink.
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I bet other people think your dumb tattoos look cheap too.
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Hahaha! So mean, so twoo.
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 10:52am.
I really don't care WHAT Jennifer Aniston does or does NOT do.
She's boring as rice and she only stays relevant and employed because SteelTrap Thundercat, love her or hate her, keeps her in it indirectly and/or directly
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Breakdown, I love your posts because, even though you love St. Holie, you're never loony about it.
Also, I have to echo the other posters who want to know why they're lying on the ground. Looks really uncomfortable.
I really don't care WHAT Jennifer Aniston does or does NOT do.
She's boring as rice and she only stays relevant and employed because SteelTrap Thundercat, love her or hate her, keeps her in it indirectly and/or directly
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Facebook: Heaux Confessionals
Please help support my greatest release yet, Heaux Confessionals©. (S)Introducing the 'Penny For My Thoughts' Campaign:
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Jenn has short stubby legs. No wonder Brad dumped her ass.....
Miz Vavoline
Sad pictures. Empty.
He's not that hot.
Submitted by literarylioness on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 1:28am.
I think his ink is pretty cheap looking. How come people with money don't spend their money on good ink? St. Angie is just as bad with her cheap looking tats. I love tats, but I pay for good ink.
I bet other people think your dumb tattoos look cheap too.
no hate here...nice peaceful christmas without fake smiling in people you don't really like faces...it's the best christmas gift...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
Cutoffs with a belt...laying out on the ground???? How common of them. ;p
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"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."
I've got a big Yule log and warm Christmas balls...that is all.
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Cum gutters????????What the hell are cum gutters????
Submitted by literarylioness on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 3:34am.
The loons have come out in full force.
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You should probably take some Midol and change your tampax.
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"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."
The loons have come out in full force.
*edit*
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I like to smile, smiling's my favorite! : )
The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
Didn't realize he had so many tattoos. At least he has his own career and he's successful in his own right. I'm tired of seeing all these celeb women date/marry men who seem to have no career of their own. And I don't mean they have to have a higher income but their own thing going on and not like Jello who hires her Casper to perform with her in everything going on. (ok I'm probably nitpicking right there : P).
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I like to smile, smiling's my favorite! : )
The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 2:42am.
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Agree with you yo. All these bitter bitches on this thread whining about Aniston not spending time with her family on Christmas are the same bitter bitches who've been trolling the internet ALL FUCKING DAY and haven't spent more than a minute with their own families.
And I'd love to know where these bitter bitches were when St. Angie flew in the day before her own mother passed away. Where was she while her mother was losing her battle with cancer? She's spent years milking her mother's passing and couldn't be bothered to do anything but fly in at the last minute. And mind you those two were not estranged. Her mother did not spend years selling stories to the tabs like Aniston's mother. So I ask you bitter bitches, where was Angie Jo? And why haven't you crawled up her ass about that? Or gotten all judgmental about the fact that she often skips out on Thanksgiving so she can stage photo ops in Africa? You'd think those photo-ops could wait and day or two so she could be with her own children over the holidays. Brad and St. Angie used to make such a big production about spending Thanksgiving in New Orleans because they were all about family. Remember those days bitter bitches? Back when they were literally launching the family as a fucking brand? Ugh.
Good for Jen that she's living the life the way she wants to. I think she's realized that it's media who is obsessed with her, not the public. This is one person who was caught in a media shitstorm because of her shitty cheating ex and his remorseless whore and she still managed to have a successful career and find happiness on her own. Being filthy rich and good looking helps of course.
And sure, some great body Justin has, but ruined by those tats. Well, they're just not my thing.
Submitted by Flynn on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 2:23am.
http://sockpuppettheatre.com/video/jennifer-anistons-beauty-tips/
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OMG!!!! lol
http://sockpuppettheatre.com/video/jennifer-anistons-beauty-tips/
Submitted by literarylioness on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 1:20am.
Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 12:01am.
I will never understand people like you who come to a GOSSIP site and get upset about posts. Why not bitch at MK for his initial post? Why did he choose to blog about Maniston? Why do some people like chocolate ice cream and others vanilla? It's preferences.
I'm sure there are a ton of sites filled with rainbows and unicorns. Maybe you should find that site? Or you could go to CDAN where people stating their feelings and opinions is frowned upon.
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You don't have to understand why I do what I do, because I'm not here to justify myself or my life via the happenings and choices of others because I'M not on that level of insecurity like some people CLEARLY are. If I choose to come to a gossip site that I enjoy, just like Aniston chooses to go tto Cabo, it's none of your sweet fucking business.
Secondly, I have no issue with snark. HOWEVER some people take their "opinions" to an unnecessary level and a realllllllly nonsensical petty place that wreaks of unfillfulment in their own lives,that which IS NOT justified. Michael K commented on where she went, and joked about it, Thats what he does. I don't agree with everything he writes, however he didn't judge why she went there or how lame of her it was for her to go there or why she's not talking to her mother and how right or wrong it is for her to do so, there's a difference between commentary with a jokeful spin than just straight up ripping her to shreds because how she lives doesn't fall in line with your way of how life should be lived. And I don't think I recall MK ever stating how someone should directly lead ones life on THAT LEVEL. There is a difference between what Michael K posts, and what some EXTREMELY clearly either unhappy, jealous or just plain hagged out ratchet ass messes with tooo much fucking time on their hands choose to squawk and flap their wings about like it gives them any right to do so. Is this about her doing drugs? Is this about her evading the law? Is she slapping Target employees? Is she going on an overal general rampage that isn't acceptable behavior of a sane person? Wearing an ugly ass dress? Making a shitty movie? No. She's going on fucking vacation to cabo thats neither here or there and may or may not be pregnant, and because of THOSE things strangers chose to judge her as a person by that and I'm sorry, but if you can't see how completely fucked up that is, then you're one who shouldn't be here.
Also, giving ones opinion goes both ways, and about where OTHERS chose to go on vacation, or their reproductive rights shouldn't be given. Who gives a shit in all honesty? Would you want someone holding their nose at where you chose to go?
Yea, you could, but how does it make you look? The Phelps have the right under the first ammendment to do the hateful shit they do because of their belief or opinion, doesn't mean they should.
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"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."
Those tats scream "douche".
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Shiitake happens...
Submitted by literarylioness on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 1:15am.
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Why does she need to come out and declare she doesn't want kids because not saying something is somehow manipulating you? Who other than a nutcase gives a shit? Most normal people don't decide who's "America's Sweetheart" based on whether or not they choose to use their reproductive organs to house an ankle biter or until someone in Boofooku rams through an adoption of a ten year old refugee.
If you're seriously basing how much "news" is covering Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux's vacation in Cabo vs. Jack Klugman and Charles Durning's deaths, I suggest you get off of JustJared and Celebitchy and check out MSN, CNN or an actual television news channel.
Countdown to Bernard....
i dont even know why but i love these two together.
He went from Justin Ther-NO to Just Throw-me-over-your-shoulder! I am licking thumb #12, stanky shorts (is "jorts" a word people use now?) and all.
Jen's never much interested me in any way. Blah. Get it.
"This world is a whore."
I think his ink is pretty cheap looking. How come people with money don't spend their money on good ink? St. Angie is just as bad with her cheap looking tats. I love tats, but I pay for good ink.
Theroux is confusing because he tries to go for the whole indie art-boy hipster thing but I bet in reality he's totally high maintenance. Plus the word "manscaping" pops into my head when I look at him shirtless.
Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 12:01am.
I will never understand people like you who come to a GOSSIP site and get upset about posts. Why not bitch at MK for his initial post? Why did he choose to blog about Maniston? Why do some people like chocolate ice cream and others vanilla? It's preferences. If no one came to this site and "bitched" about the subjects there wouldn't be a site!
I'm sure there are a ton of sites filled with rainbows and unicorns. Maybe you should find that site? Or you could go to CDAN where people stating their feelings and opinions is frowned upon.
Submitted by Hockey fan on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 12:15am.
And Literary lioness-- why are you so bothered by the fact that she might NOT want kids? Who the fuck cares? Why are her reproductive organs and what she does with them any of your business?
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Nothing. I think she milks these rumors about whether or not she is reproducing. It reminds of the Big O back in the 80s when she damn well knew she wasn't going to have kids, but milked it. Maniston is milking it. Nothing wrong with coming out and saying, "stop looking at my stomach because it's not going to happen." Of course she won't do this, because she would lose half of her mag covers. Her reproductive choices or lack there of, and spurred her fame.
That's the only thing I'm pointing out.
Anyone know what resort that is? My guesses are Las Ventanas or Palmilla. But all the hi-end resorts down dere look alike. (I always stay in town; when you stay out toward San José, it's like you never left home and Spanish is optional. Come to think of it, that's like you never left home, too.)
In the words of Borat, "Very nice." He's smoking.
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Lucifer_Sam: "Do you EVER post anything worthwhile on this site? Do you EVER have a point to make?" In case anyone else was wondering, the answer is "No."
Boredasfuckyo-- WERD.
And Literary lioness-- why are you so bothered by the fact that she might NOT want kids? Who the fuck cares? Why are her reproductive organs and what she does with them any of your business?
Jeezus, you loonies make me wanna commit a hate crime. Go crawl back to your Whorlie shrines. Just watch it when you kneel down-- don't stab yourself with her used heroin syringes.
A-MEN, boredas... Thank you for summing up what I was thinking while reading some of the comments.
Who gives a shit? I hate her, Brad, and Mentalina. They all suck and can fuck off as far as I am concerned.
She can still wear a bikini and be in early pregnancy, I don't see why wearing a bikini means you are not pregnant.....anyhow, she looks good he does to, but I hope she can get preggers soon cause it took me to my early 40's to find the man I wanted to have babies with and many painful miscarriages later it didn't happen hence the fur babies, me I am o.k. With not having kids now, but at the time it was devastating....
Who says she's not prego? Maybe she's in her first trimester? Bet she blows up by March.
Seriously though, I think Maniston doesn't want kids.
Lol Tigerlily!
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I like to smile, smiling's my favorite! : )
The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
Submitted by Stan Hooper on Tue, 12/25/2012 - 11:52pm.
*Doffs hat to veteran actors* RIP, second half of the Odd Couple.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
holy shit, he's hot!
I'm not a fan of Jen in any form, however, what's with all the fucking hate on where she chooses to spend her vacation? We all have preferences. Maybe she likes Cabo? When's the last time some of you bitches were able to make it rain like Big Money Grip to be able to scoff at where people chose to go? And even if you are financially well off, what does that say about your own esteem if you give that much of a shit about what other people do? Seriously, get over yourselves, if you don't want to go to Cabo, no one is making you.
Also, so what if she doesn't have kids? People are picking apart Jessica in one thread for being knocked up again so soon, and Jen for not having any period. Fuck man, some of you bitches are the most insecure motherfuckers tonight. Worry about your own reproductive organs. And as far as not visiting her mother. Stop trying to compare your own upbringing with hers. You feel a certain way toward a tough living situation growing up, that's you, your temperment, your personality and your mentality and most of all your fucking OPINION which the last time I checked wasn't a damn fact. Not everyone shares or has to share it.
Worry about enjoying spending time with your LOVE ONES and where ever it is YOU'RE spending it, and not where Jen is spending hers.
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"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."
Gotta give Crawford major props--not a single bit of Jenn matters on the day two acting legends died.
Jenn's ovaries are slowing dying but today is Jack Klugman and Charles Durring day of mourning.
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
It says alot about our society when NON-Aston and her beard can overshadow the deaths of two great American actors who have given decades of entertainment.
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What the fuck are you talking about? Klugman and Durning death were EVERYWHERE today, even every local evening news cast.
It's Christmas. Can't you loons take one fucking day off from your Aniston bitterness?
It says alot about our society when NON-Aston and her beard can overshadow the deaths of two great American actors who have given decades of entertainment.
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If you ever need someone to drink with, I'll drink with you. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I'll drink with you. I guess what I'm trying to say is: I love to drink!!!
--Karen Walker