Hot Slut Of The Day!
Aka, the former Miss Ukraine and the most graceful wig-wearing angel of the season who is bringing you the Christmas anthem of 2012.
I first heard about this Eastern European gift from Jesus last month when she threatened to sue the BLATANT THIEVES who wrote and produced the song "Call Me Maybe" for stealing some of the lyrics to her song "Hunky Santa." Carly Rae Jepsen should be spending her Christmas in a Canadian prison cell getting waterboarded with maple syrup while a Nickelback Christmas song (please tell me one doesn't exist) blares in her ears for screwing with Aka. Yes, aka is short for Also Known As The True Definition Of Talent.
Aka should also sue the writers of "Santa Baby," because they're obviously future see-ers who looked into the year 2012, listened to her masterpiece of a holiday song and then stole the entire idea for their song. Aka should also sue Debbie Harry for stealing her face and Linda Hogan for stealing her entire style. And she should sue the makers of wigs made out of shredded Styrofoam for stealing her luscious hairstyle. Basically, Aka should sue the world for copyright infringement, because she's a one-of-a-kind original flower and we're all stealing from her.
Merry Christmas, everybody! If you didn't get a Hunky Santa for Christmas this year, tell your genitals not to frown, because you got something even better: the gift of natural beauty and pure elegance in form of a Ukrainian goddess!
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Incidentally, it is now *Deborah* Harry.
Despite the fact that I only log in to correct you on names of women older than me for whom I have had salacious feelings since childhood, I do want to say, thanks for being such a lesbian-positive gay guy all the damn time. Seriously. This is not a joke. I think it is only you and that stand-up comedian from the '90s who cheerfully explained that R2D2 was clearly a handybutch. In Minneapolis here, the communities are totally separated, and you're such a nice change from that. You make me happy. Hope your X-Mess was gay, in every sense of the word.
Well, if that thing about the lawsuit doesn't work out, I see both of them could have a successful career in amateur porn. Why does it seem that most of that genre comes from that corner of the earth?
Merry Christmas for the third time, slores. :D
Thanks. That hunky santa is adorable! I'll be busy making some animated gifs tonight :)
Merry Christmas MK and Dlisted! thanks to you, MK, and all of you for the daily gifts of laughter and bitchery that make this such a unique hangout
*hungover for my nnnnth xmas in a row. thank you, thank you ver much. please hold your applause. seriously, hold it. it's too fucking loud.*
ETA: annnnnnnddddd, enter the Bumpus hounds stage left into the kitchen, lololololololol. best movie scene ever!!!!!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Oh man, I just stepped outside for a ciggie and the beautiful smell of grilled meat wafted my way. My neighbor's son from three doors down was burning something up, a tear came to my eye. I told him that's the way you do it, grilling on Christmas day.
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Submitted by ba-buttons on Tue, 12/25/2012 - 3:33pm.
Excellent idea babs but since Mike is a year round practitioner of Festivus, I'll have to come up with a different tradition. The new Festivus tradition of engaging in a hot charcoal fight would be perfect.
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Submitted by RandéSleepover on Tue, 12/25/2012 - 4:00pm.
Hey Rande, I think it's a little more than just the phrase she lifted. A snippet or two of the melody was sampled too IMO.
I've always loved that about music, you can take a few notes from one song and come up with an entirely new one almost. To this day I'll always believe Madonna wrote Vogue from two or three notes of Going to a Go Go.
You can hum (or mix) either song along with the other and they fit together.
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HTTR
Merry Christmas, MK and everyone else.
(ugh, i just woke up. plz excuse editing)
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"I am fabulous. Gone with the Wind fabulous!"
-Kenya Moore
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Tue, 12/25/2012 - 4:17pm.
UBF, merry Christmas! Much love to you ♥
Louise -- Romanian, like gypsies? Yikes! And remind me to stay from Niles, not that I like that area anyway. There's a lot of Lithuanians and Poles in our area, too, which I can't say too much about because I'm half of both.
One day I was at the Willowbrook Target and I thought of you. There was this rich drip pot guy and his dorky son in his Tufts sweatshirt. Rich dude was bragging to this other equally obnoxious woman about how his daughter was coming home from law school at Georgetown. And just before I heard this obnoxiousness I almost got run over by a fucking Bentley in the parking lot. I HATE the people who shop at that store!!! Although I did find the sets of lights I needed for my tree at the very last minute. Oh, and when I was there, there was this Russian bitch in line at customer service, just ahead of me, talking at the top of her lungs, wearing Burberry boots, but she had leggings on that had lace panels on them (tres tacky!!!) and she had the roughest skin I'd ever seen and even when she was waited on she didn't get off the phone. I don't know where they're coming from!
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
"LEAVE THE COUNTRY BEARS ALLLLLOOONEEEE!!!!"
-- christine the hoff
Submitted by bambam on Tue, 12/25/2012 - 3:08pm.
Submitted by mike on Tue, 12/25/2012 - 2:44pm.
That actually wasn't as bad as I guessed it would be (not that I'll be watching it again).
Happy Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and whatever to y'all!
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Whatever? Excuse me but Festivus is not "whatever" okay? Don't make me have to smack you upside the head with my Festivus pole. My people will not be marginalized. Festivacist.
Happy merry, Mike. :)
I didn't include Festivus because I celebrate that year 'round - I'm all about the airing of grievances.
Merry X-mas MK!!
Thanks for the MANY laughs. I continue to need only your blog for entertainment and the latest/most important news.
Happy holidays to the Dlisters as well for also keeping me smiling/laughing! :-D
Twatty- No idea. It seems like a lot of ethnic groups will kind of emigrate to one area, like a friend lived in DC about 15 years ago and said there were a lot of Ethiopian immigrants in his neighborhood. I've heard that around us they are mainly Czech and Romanian. Up north like Niles and that area there are more Russian.
Merry Christmas everyone. Bout to take me a nap, stuffed on turkey and peppermint pie. The cats already crawled in our bed , they know what time is... I ll let the iPad babysit the kids for an hour or so. They don't know I have two math practice pages waiting for them when I get up ....*evil laugh*
Louise -- OMG, what is with the Eastern European prostitutes/porn stars in our area? Like you & I have surmised, there's either a prostitution or porn ring going on. And these broads are not attractive, they look rode hard & put away wet. I hate how loud & rude they are! I HATE those pink sweatpants with the PINK emblazoned on the legs or ass, especially when you are over 20 and look like a prostitute. And why have they picked the western suburbs of Chicago, a rather affluent area? Go somewhere else, you trashy women. Wouldn't they feel more comfortable in trashy parts of the city? Ugh, I hate them! And they all have those Aza-like hairdos or those severe ponytail dos you describe.
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
"LEAVE THE COUNTRY BEARS ALLLLLOOONEEEE!!!!"
-- christine the hoff
Submitted by boomsy on Tue, 12/25/2012 - 3:44pm.
I'm confused...how are those two songs alike whatsoever?
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I think because she give him her number and says call me...that's really the only thing and you'd be pretty damn hard pressed to convince anybody you originated the phrase "here's my number call me"
Submitted by boomsy on Tue, 12/25/2012 - 3:44pm.
I'm confused...how are those two songs alike whatsoever?
Da words: Both say something like "Here's my number; call me." Because no one else ever in the history of hooking up has ever used those words...
And since the Ukrainian bombshell has a thick accent, you can't even hear the lyrics anyways.
I misread that as "wig wearing angel of season two" and I was like "season two of what? I don't remember her on Drag Race"
Twatty- hahahahaha! I think it was Friday night we were leaving Whole Foods and there were these two Eastern Euro women walking in. I totally thought of you.
We couldn't tell if they looked great for 60 or horrible for 23. They were each about 5'9" , probably weighed a combined 200 pounds, and both had stick straight hair with porn star bangs. One was in Uggs and Pink sweats (they were actually pink with "Pink" written in very shiny gold down the leg- KLASSY!) and the other was in sky high heels and a cocktail dress. Cocktail dress girl was angrily barking something foreign at her Pink wearing friend while gesturing wildly.
A few weeks ago I saw one who I'm pretty sure was a Russian spy. 6' tall, jet back hair slicked back into a ponytail (porn star bangs, of course), all black clothes, 5 inch heels (who doesn't wear 5" heels to grocery shop?), and I heard her speaking and she sounded exactly like Drago from Rocky 4. I'm pretty sure she could have killed me with a chibata roll.
I'm confused...how are those two songs alike whatsoever?
Not bad, but when I'm looking for real Eurotrash klass, I Youtube the Cheeky Girls.
Submitted by bambam on Tue, 12/25/2012 - 3:08pm.
Submitted by mike on Tue, 12/25/2012 - 2:44pm.
That actually wasn't as bad as I guessed it would be (not that I'll be watching it again).
Happy Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and whatever to y'all!
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Whatever? Excuse me but Festivus is not "whatever" okay? Don't make me have to smack you upside the head with my Festivus pole. My people will not be marginalized. Festivacist.
Happy merry, Mike. :)
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Hit him anyway, bambam!! It'll count as your feat of strength!!
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Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Thu, 01/19/2012 - 11:56am.
Liver spotted hand
Groping while I cry inside
Merit badge and meth
Those East Europeans are such classy broads. They totally belong here!
Merry x-mas to all of you drunken sluts who are not currently is a self-induced coma!
I'm guessing the Miss Ukraine pagent doesn't have an age limit.
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"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."
Isn't she "Aza"? (MK is drunk already.) She'd have to show that Jepsen's writers had access to her song. The odds of that are zero.
However, her dumb song went from 780 views to 644k views in 45 days, so good move on her part.
Submitted by mike on Tue, 12/25/2012 - 2:44pm.
That actually wasn't as bad as I guessed it would be (not that I'll be watching it again).
Happy Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and whatever to y'all!
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Whatever? Excuse me but Festivus is not "whatever" okay? Don't make me have to smack you upside the head with my Festivus pole. My people will not be marginalized. Festivacist.
Happy merry, Mike. :)
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HTTR
Submitted by WWJDFAKB on Tue, 12/25/2012 - 3:03pm.
Merry Christmas you filthy animals...and a happy new year.
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"Get down on your knees and tell me you love me!"
ah Home Alone....a Christmas classic.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Make maiiiii evri vish vullfeeeeled!
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Did anyone order me a plain cheese?
Merry Christmas, y'all!!!
Louise -- I don't know if you'll be checking in, but I have a feeling Aza is working out of Zazzo's Pizza, don't you? LMAO!!! And when was this bitch Miss Ukraine -- like 20 years ago???
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
"LEAVE THE COUNTRY BEARS ALLLLLOOONEEEE!!!!"
-- christine the hoff
Merry Christmas you filthy animals...and a happy new year.
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
If you believe in yourself, drink your school, stay in drugs, and don't do milk.
*slurring. waving around a drink at 1:30 pm*
Merry Christmasssss, Bitchesssss!!!!!
Shut up. Quit judging me. It's not that early in the day. Jealous bitches are just jealous of my whiskey bottle.
Merry Christmas, MK! Hope you're having a great time in Hawaii!
Happy holidays to all Dlisters!
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Submitted by Migraineuse on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:22pm.
All females belong to the sex class; they are subhuman buckets for male incontinence.
Merry Christmas, MK!! Hope you are enjoying Hawaii...lucky Ho ;)
Happy Holidays everyone else!
I got through 30 seconds. Merry Christmas, e'rybody!
That actually wasn't as bad as I guessed it would be (not that I'll be watching it again).
Happy Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and whatever to y'all!
Merry Christmas mk! Thanks for providing my daily snark. Hope someone brought you a hunky Santa! Xo
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
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"...If I put a Cleopatra wig on my asshole and painted cat eyes on it, it would look and act more like Elizabeth Taylor than LiLo does..."- MK
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MERRY CHRISTMAS Michael, thanks for providing a buncha ho's a place to meet and bitch, moan, and complain! Or...a place just to have fun and talk a bunch of shit!
Happy holidays everyone!!!! May your new year be great!!!!
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"...If I put a Cleopatra wig on my asshole and painted cat eyes on it, it would look and act more like Elizabeth Taylor than LiLo does..."- MK
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