What Is Lindsay Lohan's Ass Crying About Today?
In "Lindsay Lohan Needs To Switch From Coke To The Good Shit So She Can Calm The Hell Down" news, Lindsay Lohan is farting all over the producers of Scary Movie 5 for lying and tricking her ass. Yes, LiLo tricks hos on a daily basis (cut to the IRS cursing her name after finding out that the $200,000 she sent them to pay for her overdue tax bill is actually counterfeit money printed at Kinko's) and everything that leaps off of her tongue is a certified lie, but if anybody tricks or lies to her there will be hell to pay. And yes by "hell to pay," I mean White Oprah is going to break into their house and swallow their medicine cabinet whole after selling their children to a "modeling agency" in Korea.
TMZ says that LiLo is mad at the producers, because in the script, she lets out a horrified scream at a TV showing a scene from Herbie: Fully Loaded. But in the trailer that came out on Friday, LiLo screams at a TV showing her sashaying into the court room after her probation is revoked. LiLo is all mad, because the producers never cleared that joke with her first and she thinks they're just getting back at her ass, because she trashed her trailer and broke the toilet by caca-ing out the coke balloons she forgot she shoved up her butt during a quickie trip to Mexico a few months before.
So basically, LiLo was about as pleasant as a urethra pimple and the producers got back at her by making a probation joke. You know, I wasn't planning on seeing Scary Movie 5, but now I am, because it's my way of slow clapping for the producers who screwed with her. If the California Justice System followed Scary Movie 5's lead and screwed with LiLo by throwing her in a jail cell full of "gypsies," 2013 would be the best year ever!
And if they wanted to make that shit extra scary, they'd cut every scene from the movie and just show LiLo screaming at a TV playing the GIF of LiLo screaming. Your nightmares will never be the same again.
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Bitch please. She was too busy begging Charlie Sheen for money on that movie set to even pay attention to what was being shown on the screen. Who's going to believe this useless skank?
Oh, silly Lindsay. Honey, if you conduct yourself like you're a joke, and play jokes with the judicial system, guess what? People will treat you like you are indeed a joke.
Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Tue, 12/25/2012 - 12:58am.
If you can keep up ;)
Obviously I can't since I posted and passed out. I can hold my own--Irish genes and training--but I'm kind of a boring wine-sipper these days.
Submitted by dementa on Tue, 12/25/2012 - 1:31am.
LOL. You did. He's that nasty cop who (IRL) killed off a succession of wives. A very Lifetime sort of tale.
If bitch had to clear every joke that ended in "Lindsay Lohan" she wouldn't have enough hours in a damn day.
All I keep seeing is...it's Your fault...it's Your fault...it's YOUR fault!
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Submitted by RandéSleepover on Tue, 12/25/2012 - 12:49am.
Who is that?!
I think I just reinforced your point.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Tue, 12/25/2012 - 12:49am.
If you can keep up ;)
Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Tue, 12/25/2012 - 12:52am.
haha. Drinks on me?
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Tue, 12/25/2012 - 12:49am.
I beat you to it! ;)
"Liz & Dick averaged 3.5 million Total Viewers in its world premiere last night [11/25/12], according to Nielsen Research.
Liz & Dick ranks as 2012’s fourth-most-watched original movie premiere on ad-supported cable, behind Lifetime’s Steel Magnolias, Drew Peterson: Untouchable, and Abducted: The Carlina White Story (excluding miniseries)."
(TV by the Numbers)
Me: In other words, people were more interested in Drew Peterson.
Submitted by dementa on Tue, 12/25/2012 - 12:30am.
If you count being the 4th most viewed movie on Lifetime for 2012 a hit then sure:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/26/liz-and-dick-ratings_n_2193788....
I'm confused. Was "Liz and Dick" a hit or not?
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
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it wasn't her but that shit movie she was forced into at gunpoint for a 6 figure salary. lololol. what a dumb movie! how embarrassing!!! how could she have acted in that. an actress of her caliber?
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Mon, 12/24/2012 - 4:17pm.
I cant stop staring at her cheeks!
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I know right???? THOSE CHEEKS!!!!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
because in my mind being carried away in handcuffs is cry screaming worth it. Like the moment I realize I'm a worthless POS.
oh, I get it.
lol
did they pull a joke? was it supposed to be a joke? Because if it were me I'd be having the same reaction. I'd be more offended if they mocked my work or ''art.''
This bitch needs to fucking DIE. The only problem is that she will be victimized and her fucking cunt mother will never go away. All I want for Christmas is to wake up tomorrow and see the headlines "Lindsay Lohan Dies in Fiery Crash with Parents and Justin Bieber".
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
Oh for cripe's sake...will you just shave your head again and break out the pink wig! It's been too long.
Ooops...wrong talentless celebutard. They all kinda look the same these days.
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"Oh you little bitch troll from hell!" -- Patsy Stone
Who gives a shit about this fucking toilet-clogger?
wow way to shit on any good will that the Scary Movie 5 producers might have had for her and the Disney people in one shitty statement.
she used to be so cute, looks demented now or demon infested
...yamahama..I thought that was Rimes in that gif til I read the title of the post...
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...'Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason '...
I really doubt she has editing control and the probation joke is a lot funnier than the Herbie joke. So she was OK with the Breathalyzer, ankle monitor, and shock collar joke, but seeing herself in the actual news offends her? I bet her claim goes nowhere.
I love the pic of her with her grandmother's non-alcoholic margie--half-finished--right in front of her.
Submitted by Pinay Pie on Mon, 12/24/2012 - 2:53pm.
Hell yeah. He was the only good thing about that awful "Robin Hood" BBC series. And he's quite awesome and charismatic as Thorin. :D
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
I cant stop staring at her cheeks!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Here's to hoping she ODs this holiday season. It would be the greatest Christmas present to the world.
Submitted by Trixster on Mon, 12/24/2012 - 12:51pm.
I predict a Lohan Christmas death this year.
She's like the cockroach in the nuclear winter - we're never going to be rid of her.
@sansfards:
The really pathetic part of this story is that Liz & Dick did so terribly in the ratings that they said they have not AND will not show it again. It's not even on the ON-DEMAND listings for Lifetime and we all know they rerun the shit out of every "movie" they make.
Now that's some funny shit!
That's creepy as all hell. She looks like the little dead boy from The Grudge.
It's CHRISTMAS not HALLOOWWEENNN wtf with that pic and scaring the bejesus back into me????
*dunks head in eggnog bowl*
SANS FARD, Yes, Thorin is hot! I did not read Tolkien's book so I hope Thorin doesn't get killed in the second installment. :P
Sorry all for the OT.
Submitted by Pinay Pie on Mon, 12/24/2012 - 2:09pm.
SANS FARD, love your avie. :) Richard Armitage. Have you seen The Hobbitt? It's like Lord of the Rings all over again. Have to wait more years to finish the movie. LOL
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Sure did! and the first thing that struck me was, oh hey, Thorin Oakenshield is pretty hot! So I did some IMDB'ing and came across this delicious specimen.
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We are all made of stars.
Ah, fuck her and her whiny, point the blame ass.
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What goes up must come down
Spinning wheel got to go around
Talking about your troubles it's a crying sin
Ride a painted pony let the spinning wheel spin
The Mayans f'ed up. The day she finally admits personal responsibility for her actions and errors will be *true* apocalypse.
Again, no sympathy for any producer who hired her for anything. They got what they deserved.
This GIF is hypnotic. You can tell what a shitty actress she is in 2 seconds. She barely had energy to lift her arm and point.
Um, is the bitch actually CRYING for that scene?
It's Scary Movie 5, not (insert horror movie with a more respected actress, and yes that's an ironic statement). I don't think scared-to-death tears were necessary for this scene...
These days it seems the only way producers get their money's worth out of Lohan is to generate publicity in the form of scandal. The money people are probably loving every minute of this. #shady, #boring, #disaster
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Pinay Pie on Mon, 12/24/2012 - 2:09pm.
SANS FARD, love your avie. :) Richard Armitage. Have you seen The Hobbitt? It's like Lord of the Rings all over again. Have to wait more years to finish the movie. LOL
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Sure did! and the first thing that struck me was, oh hey, Thorin Oakenshield is pretty hot! So I did some IMDB'ing and came across this delicious specimen.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
SANS FARD, love your avie. :) Richard Armitage. Have you seen The Hobbitt? It's like Lord of the Rings all over again. Have to wait more years to finish the movie. LOL
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We are all made of stars.
Get Serious is right on the money. Any publicity is good publicity. Liz & Dick probably had the most viewings ever for Lifetime so you can bet that producer's laughing all the way to the bank.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 12/24/2012 - 1:46pm.
Get Serious - besides how uninsurable she is and how risky it is to hire her, I still do not understand WHY these producers put themselves on the line to hire her anyway. I mean, she's not a talented actress. WHY take the risk? WTF am I missing here?
You're not missing anything. Despite all her protestations to the contrary, she's exactly where she wants to be. TV Producers hire her for her notoriety & infamy, banking on high numbers of people who will watch what she does, if only to wish she fucks up horribly (like Liz & Dick). The problem for her is, she hasn't thought it through, as that's only going to translate in Lifetime movies; it's not going to work in feature films, where people have to shell out their hard earned dollars. Nobody wants to pay money to see blowhan pretend to try to appear as though she's attempting to act. Her movie career is dead, and movie producers apparently will hire her only if they can play on her stupidity and cracked out behavior...
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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
That gif will cause my nightmares tonight fo sho
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 12/24/2012 - 1:46pm.
Get Serious - besides how uninsurable she is and how risky it is to hire her, I still do not understand WHY these producers put themselves on the line to hire her anyway. I mean, she's not a talented actress. WHY take the risk? WTF am I missing here?
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The only possible explanation I can think of is that these directors want to be thought of as the one who pulled Blohan out of the abyss and rehabbed her career. Of course everyone with a brain knows that the chances of that happening are nil, and that she and her "career" are FUBAR.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
As Get Serious has pointed out, when are these producers going to get the picture? Hiring this cum dumpster is nothing but aggravation and liability.
Is there some angle I'm overlooking? Do they WANT to pay extra lawyer's fees to deal with her? Is she some kind of write-off? What? I don't get it.
I thought movies are edited all the time hence deleted scenes, bloopers, director's cut, etc.
Do the actors usually have the right to approve changes? I mean in the real world not the Lohan's delusional one.
Get Serious - besides how uninsurable she is and how risky it is to hire her, I still do not understand WHY these producers put themselves on the line to hire her anyway. I mean, she's not a talented actress. WHY take the risk? WTF am I missing here?
She'd be a whole lot happier if she did a couple of bong hits and accepted the fact that she's now just the punchline to a joke.
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"Look at this lamb, I'm going to make condoms out of it so that you can ride me until your pussy says 'baaaaaah.'"
~ASkars as channeled by Michael K
This bitch. This bitch...
Oh, waaaaaah, boo fucking hoo. Stupid whore got paid for her appearance, which is exactly what she needs (money to pay off her debts & the IRS). Instead, she's threatening to sue... again. She's threatened to sue every movie producer in every movie she's been involved in for the past 7 years. Sooner or later, producers are finally going to realize that this stupid little whore is toxic waste, and won't even hire her for her infamy & notoriety. Then, blowhan can finally take the job she's been training for these past 7 years: porn movie set fluffer...
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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer