Shia LaDouche’s Got A New Piece….AND WHERE ARE HER BROWS?!?

December 23, 2012 / Posted by:

Shia LaBeouf quit humping Karolyn Pho a quick minute ago and he’s already smearing his unpasteurized peen fromage all over the body of his new girlfriend, 19-year-old Mia Goth. Shia met Mia while shooting Lars Von Trier’s art porn Nymphomaniac, and I guess she just couldn’t get enough of the five layer dip under his foreskin, because they’re dating for real now. Shia and Mia (possible couple names: MiShi, ShiMi, Shith, Shit Mi, Filthy Bums, etc….) spread their hobo love in L.A. yesterday. They look like a broke down, low-budget version of Early and Adele from Kalifornia. Shia looks like a serial killer vagrant who lives in a tent in the woods and hangs out in front of Rite-Aid during the day, and she looks like the 15-year-old he kidnapped from her family’s trailer.

But more importantly, for where are homegirl’s brows? Did they jump off of her face when she made out with Shia for the first time? Did Shia’s crotch crustaceans crawl up to her face and eat them? If Shia cared about Mia at all, he’d give her some brows. Dude has Demi Moore’s vintage muff on his face so he has more than enough hair to give Mia for some eyebrows. If you truly care about a trick, don’t let her go outside with no brows.

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >