“This is surprising!” said not one bitch after reading the news that Marc Anthony’s Jewish twin and the Skeletor of NYC Bethenny Frankel has separated from her husband Jason Hoppy after two years of marriage. If you want to ruin your day, just imagine Jill Zarin fapping to this news while cackling maniacally.
Bethenny released a long statement of words to every damn media outlet in the universe saying that since her reality shit show needs a new plot and she’s already sucked every last ounce of life out of Whatshisname, she’s quitting his ass and throwing him in the moat around Castle Grayskull.
“It brings me great sadness to say that Jason and I are separating. This was an extremely difficult decision that as a woman and a mother, I have to accept as the best choice for our family. We have love and respect for one another and will continue to amicably co-parent our daughter who is and will always remain our first priority. This is an immensely painful and heartbreaking time for us.”
She went on to say, “And you can watch my marriage completely crumble into worm food on the season premiere of my new show BETHENNY GETTING DIVORCED!“
What’s really surprising is that they lasted this long. On the show (yes, I watched mess), it seemed like Bethenny’s constant whining and nagging killed Jason’s last nerve, so I figured that it was only a matter of time before he drenched himself in pinot grigio before feeding himself to Ramona Singer.
And here’s Jason and Bethenny in Miami last year. As for Jason’s ass, yes, I would. And now that I know he’s probably going to get a huge chunk of Skinnygirl money, I totally would.