On part 1 of The X-Falcor (Freudian slip and it stays) finale last night, 13-year-old Carly Rose Sonicare (or however you spell her name) sang “How Do I Live?” (aka the song that Eddie Cibrian sings to the Black AMEX LeAnn gave him) with LeAnn Rimes and it must’ve taken all the will-power she had to not stop in the middle of the song to say, “Go home, Falcor, you’re drunk!“
LeAnn was a stumbling, wobbling, wailing disaster from start to finish and the only things missing from her act were a martini and a Parliament dangling out of her mouth. Bitch looked, acted and sounded like a pilled-up albino monkey getting shocked on electrical fence. America should give the frazzled broom the $5 million prize money, because bitch gave the performance of the night! This is Christmas and entertainment to me. Christmas IS some drunk mess paralyzing the children with fear by yodeling out a karaoke song. I just wish there was a Christmas tree in the background for LeAnn to fall on.
Sorry, Carly Rose Sonicare, you were just upstaged by one of the Wayans Brothers in his White Chicks drag.
Here’s some pictures from last night’s X-Factor show. In order: a Falcor doll made out of hay and white pantyhose, a constipated Brit Brit with Carly Rose, a drunken Ewok with JWoww, Demi Lovato and Khloe Kardashian giving us some Valley of the Chewbaccas glamour.