To play a sick and sad singing hooker in Les Miserable, Anne Hathaway chopped off her hair and starved herself by only eating dried horse barf for two weeks, because you have to bleeeeeeed to get that Oscar (“You do?” said Gwyneth Paltrow)! Anne Hathaway will be nominated, she will win and we’ll pop a few blood vessels when we rolls our eyes at her acting all excited about it. Anne told FOX 411 (via Entertainmentwise) that if she doesn’t get nominated, a part of her will be really embarrassed, become a recluse and move to the woods, because the trees, wind and forest animals don’t care if you have an Oscar or not.
FOX 411: Oscar buzz! What does that mean to you?
Hathaway: It’s hugely flattering but nothing is real yet, so it’s lovely that people are talking about it. So I’m of two minds, which is one, ‘Oh my gosh could you imagine if it came true?’ and two, ‘Can you imagine how embarrassing it’ll be if it doesn’t happen if I don’t get nominated?’ So I’m just trying to keep my feet on the ground at the moment.
Anne has half of that right. Part of her will be embarrassed, the other part of her will RAAAAAAAAAGE! Bitch didn’t almost starve to death to lose out on an Oscar nomination. Anne has been working the Oscar game like the rent is due, her car is about to be repoed and gamblers who are betting on her to win have threatened her family, dognapped her dog and left a decapitated Oscar statue in her bed. She is going after it hard, so if she doesn’t win it, she’s going to be like Michael Douglas in Falling Down. We’re all going to pay.