Open Post: Hosted By Another One Of Madonna's Classic Bitch Moments

Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Thu, 12/20/2012 - 8:12pm.
Hotmami, do you have pics of the tattoo on FB? And SDR , I hope you go old school with those bees and spin the honey out of there by hand . My grandma had bees on the farm and spinning the honey out with that WW2 hand operated machine was slave labor but somehow made the honey taste even better .
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Wow! How'd you know?? I just talked to some people yesterday about buying their old equipment. One of the pieces is a hand powered extractor. Since I can't sell it (job conflicts) I will send you some. That is if I don't kill my bees first!!

Hi Twatty, you and your mom reminded me of the venerable Margaret Cho! lollol ;p

@Cashew, dude mooned you? Wtf?

This afternoon I had a nosy co-worker who was bored so she came to my desk and started grilling me on super personal crap, question after question. Had to run outta there. Speaking of proctologists...

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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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I do not like Madge all that much, but I HATE IT when people smoke in restaurants or places that are too close to the public. I went to a restaurant the other day, and a patron in the restaurant was smoking right in front of me. This is a restaurant in a state that has banned smoking in public places. I told the manager. This person still tried to smoke. I was livid.

The reason why it frustrates me is because I suffer with very severe respiratory issues - I have been hospitalized many times, and am currently on many immune suppressant medications. Thus, smoke causes severe sinus infections. I can barely go to Las Vegas to see shows, since I am so sensitive. I even have to stay at a smoke-free hotel, which have to be way off the strip.

That being said, I have no desire to infringe on the rights of any one person. However, what I do NOT like, is for these people to infringe upon MY rights. Smoke in places where it is OK, and get over it. And NO, I am NOT ok with pot smoke in my public space, either.

I am glad that things are good for you pushy...and happy ann! *wink wink* Good night to you too.

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

Merry Christmas back, AC. And well wishes for MIL!!!

UBF, your dad and the phone card made me smile, lol I'd say share with us poors, but enjoy. Thank goodness for the generosity of grandparents this time of year! ;p

@Little_rascal LOL at proctologist Sucky ahahhahahaha for serious, that's no joke.

@AtomicCity, Power is out and air raids? ;/

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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 12/20/2012 - 8:20pm
Glad you are feeling better!
I'm doing good. Thank you for asking:)
Pushy kid is here for 3 weeks during break.
We went out for a very nice dinner for her BD.
Christmas is low key--ham au gratin potatoes and
the green bean cassarole. Mr and I have our
anniv a couple of days after Christmas.
Lots to be thankful for.
Night GG

Twatty, thanks a bunch, love! I was told you'd be a fantastic wealth of knowledge. And thanks Cashy, you really are a doll. Mr AC and I are headed to my MIL's tomorrow for a few days, so I GREATLY appreciate the kind thoughts. They go a long, long way.

"I am going to hector you in English, then ask you in Spanish if you understand my English. Entiendes?"

Honey bees...I so want to keep some but my husband thinks that they will attack him. Men!

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

Merry Christmas, UBF! That's amazing that your Dad did such a wonderful thing for you and your kiddos! And you too, Chewin, it sounds like y'all have some great dads!

Deb, I agree with Spotty re: Lirax. I've tried every med under the sun and Librax is a life-saver for me. Here's to hoping you get some relief soon.

Merry Christmas all!

Hello pushy! I am feeling much better thank you. How are you holding up? Ready for Xmas?

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

AtomicCity -- I posted on this OP post earlier today about your MIL's problem. Let's talk later, okay?

Hekki -- my mom was a character. Sorry to hear you're feeling pukey.

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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"

"LEAVE THE COUNTRY BEARS ALLLLLOOONEEEE!!!!"
-- christine the hoff

UBF, yep, I posted pics on my wall.

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There might have been a time when I would let you slip away
I wouldn't even try
But I think you could save my life

ubmitted by Deb on Thu, 12/20/2012 - 7:02pm.
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Hey I'm sorry to hear about you big D Deb, that blows big times and I hope you're able to get through the holiday without to much of the sads. I'm not sure what one can say to make you feel better as time usually is the best healer but I'ma sendin you out a big and I hope you're ok:( :)

Hotmami, do you have pics of the tattoo on FB? And SDR , I hope you go old school with those bees and spin the honey out of there by hand . My grandma had bees on the farm and spinning the honey out with that WW2 hand operated machine was slave labor but somehow made the honey taste even better .

GG, hope you are feeling better!!!!

Deb, sorry for the anguish you are getting from your soon to be ex. I will have a celebatory glass of wine to you when you have this boat anchor out of your life. JMO

Twatty, loved your story about your Mom.
My grandma did a simular thing to a bunch of
"hoods" only she held up 3 fingers and goes
"well, here's 3 fingers so there!"
I was about 13ish. A car load of women in a
Pink Rambler going shopping!

Congrats to our xmas lottery winners and good energy to Deb and Atomic.

Deb-maybe you could find a NYE party to help out with on CL? I have waitress friends who do that.

And hi Withy :).
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"I don't think anything can separate anything that's super-connected. "
-LeAnn Rimes.

@Deb--I'm a (hooky playing)fam law attorney who is also bipolar. People always ask me how I deal with such an emotionally fraught field of law. The thing is I feel like I'm helping people implement change to better their lives. Sorta like the Dr. Seuss book "Oh the places you'll go." I hope that perspective helps a bit. (Upon rereading this I sound a smidge sanctimonious, I guess what I'm really saying is what you're going through is difficult but change can be positive.)

With respect to psychotropic meds--I've tried reasoning out dosage before and I've been wrong about 85% of the time. I've done the "I was on this dose before, so it should be fine." According to my shrink, I'm lucky that I haven't harmed myself. So, be careful.

Twat!!! LOL!

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 12/20/2012 - 7:39pm.

Aw GG *blush*
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"I don't think anything can separate anything that's super-connected. "
-LeAnn Rimes

UBF: what an awesome windfall! Sometimes it rains pennies from heaven.

Cashew: your story about the crater-y moon made me LOL on the bus, you hor!

Twatty: your story about your mom flipping the index finger made me LOL some more.

SDR: I love bees! I've taught my kids to differentiate between honey and bumble bees and yellow jackets. Cause yellow jackets are mean but the other kinds won't bother you if you are gentle and kind around them. In my fantasy old age I will keep bees. In the garden of my all-white beachside cottage.

Geritol has side effects? Who Knew?

"Just look at all the fucks I give!"

"Faith means not wanting to know what is true." — Friedrich Nietzsche

"Is your name Michael Diamond?" "Naw, mine's Clarence..."

Mhm, there's a very famous pic of a topless Madonna smoking in bed. And well, I think she looks beautiful there.
I can understand when she gets bitchy in a room, but not outdoors, but whatever, she's annoying like hell anyway.

(((Deb))) Sorry to hear about the divorce I know you've been mulling it over for a while. It's sad but you cannot be putting in all the effort if the other person is not in it. Much love and strength to ya.

@SDR, perfect song! :)

*Good evening to everyone*

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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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UBF, that's awesome...my Grandpa is being oddly generous as well. Dude hasn't acknowledged my existence for years.

And holy fuck these tattoos are itching like a mofo....haaate the healing process.

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There might have been a time when I would let you slip away
I wouldn't even try
But I think you could save my life

A huge chunk of my town is without power and the air raids are going off non-stop. The Mayans were right!

Who is she kidding? She hasn't sung live since the 90's.

.

Chewin, my dad sold my grandma 's house finally, so I think that's why the gift was so much. He has been retired for years and lives in Germany so I don't know how that whole tax thing is for him. I have been trying to get him on Skype all day , but I swear he just fires his laptop up once a week on Sundays to talk to me. Gotta go old school and buy a phonecard tomorrow and tell him he is fucking crazy !!

Submitted by CashewTime. on Thu, 12/20/2012 - 7:08pm.

And THIS is why I think you are a peach!

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

Submitted by vsminimoose on Thu, 12/20/2012 - 6:26pm.
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...I call complete and utter horsesh*t...

...It has been widely reported that madonna has been 2 - 3 hours late at almost EVERY stop of this craptacular tour...

...and I also call total B.S. on the so-called sales figure of this disastrous tour...ticket re-sellers and even Live Nation itself bought up huge chunks of tickets right off the top to try to make a quick scalping profit...that didn't happen...

...and then they ended cancelling or combining many of the originally scheduled tour dates...going from about 130 or so planned shows to about 80...

...madonna is an arrogant, greedy old cow of dubious talent who has NEVER been a decent live singer and her vocals just get worse with age...

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...'Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason '...

Deb, they named the storm Draco??? WTF. Take care Deb and stay warm. *hands over bottle of Wild Turkey*

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Thu, 12/20/2012 - 7:19pm.
I am hella excited. My dad was going to send the kids some money for Christmas and it made it into their account today. I thought it would be bout 200 bucks( that's about the Christmas average for the two of them) but my dad must have hit the lottery or something . I had to ask the teller three times if she was sure she was giving me the right balance. I finally can buy my little one a full size bed and some furniture . I thought I would have to slave away til at least April to afford it.
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HOLY SHIT - that is awesome.

I experienced something similar this year from my dad - you could have knocked me over with a feather. My dad has always, always, always sent me $500 for Xmas. I've always appreciated it and I usually count on it. *shameface*
Well, he retired earlier this year, and I went and got my Xmas card out of the mail this past weekend...there was my card with a check that was 10x what it has always been. Yes, $5,000. I about had a freaking heart attack. I called him in tears and he was just thrilled at how happy I was.

So, anyway, I'm afraid to ask him about why there is such an increase...and a friend of mine told me that when his parents retired, they started sending him a shit load of money for Xmas too, because 'gifting' money is a way to avoid paying income tax on monies received through his 401(k) and pension plans. Can anyone verify this?

But at any rate, congratulations on your lottery check too! I'm getting all new furniture with mine! :)

"My pug is smarter than your honor student."

Deb -- I certainly wish you the best of luck. If I hear of anything here in the western burbs restaurant wise, I'll let you know.

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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"

"LEAVE THE COUNTRY BEARS ALLLLLOOONEEEE!!!!"
-- christine the hoff

Like there's any real live singing at a Madonna show anyway.

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"Look at this lamb, I'm going to make condoms out of it so that you can ride me until your pussy says 'baaaaaah.'"
~ASkars as channeled by Michael K

Thanks, SDR! You are a honey yourself!
I'm going to head upstairs. We're fixing to be hit by Winter Storm Draco! BRRRRRRRR!!!

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

UBF - You won the lotto! Congrats!

Deb - It sucked but divorcing the 1st asshole was the best thing I ever did. He was terrible with $$ too. Hey, I'm getting some bees in the spring. Maybe you can landscape next to my bees and we can get rich from the honey?!?
Seriously, I know you'll be fine. You've been doing this by yourself for a while. You're a superstar Deb!!

I am hella excited. My dad was going to send the kids some money for Christmas and it made it into their account today. I thought it would be bout 200 bucks( that's about the Christmas average for the two of them) but my dad must have hit the lottery or something . I had to ask the teller three times if she was sure she was giving me the right balance. I finally can buy my little one a full size bed and some furniture . I thought I would have to slave away til at least April to afford it.

Twatty,

Lol at your Mom. Poor lady, she didn't need that in her life!I looked at the butt partly out of shock. Such a thing has never happened to me before. And okay, why wouldn't I, of all people, look at a butt?? I hope the next one is prettier :p.
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"I don't think anything can separate anything that's super-connected. "
-LeAnne Rimes

Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 12/20/2012 - 7:11pm.

Thank you so much, CTH! You are sweet. Congrats and WTG on donating your hair, too.

Thanks also, Twatty and chewinsmoke!
You guys are so kind, it's amazing what great snarkers you are too! ;)

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

"But'cha ar a fucking idiot, Madge....ya are!"

SDR, LOL! Woo! Woo! Woo! The future ex will have to get a new job and pay a bunch of back taxes he blew off first. I did file for spousal support, which he refuses. I told him he could move back here and finish his BS, while finding a job here, which would help him in his competetive field. But he wants to stay in Hong Kong. Maybe he's seeing somebody. Who knows.
He was making great money. I have my landscape biz, but it is seasonal, and my back is iffy at best. But I have to look for full-time work, probably back in restaurants, then go part-time come spring. Please wish me luck!

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

hoff -- hey, hon! I'm using your comment about the country bears in my siggy now.

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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"

"LEAVE THE COUNTRY BEARS ALLLLLOOONEEEE!!!!"
-- christine the hoff

Cashew -- you so bad! I can't believe you looked at the butt!!! Unless you saw the dude's face first and he looked like Jon Hamm or something, then I could see you actually looking at the butt, but you NEVER actually look at the offending butt! Funny story: the first time my late mom gave someone the finger, some kids had mooned her. She then stuck her index finger out the window at them and they laughed so hard at her they were crying. I then had to inform her on which finger to give and how to give it.

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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"

"LEAVE THE COUNTRY BEARS ALLLLLOOONEEEE!!!!"
-- christine the hoff

aww, Deb! so sorry and sending you tons of hugs, you are such a sweet person.

Submitted by Deb on Thu, 12/20/2012 - 7:02pm.

I'm very sorry you're dealing with all of that. I remembered he was in Hong Kong and you were experiencing a lot of those issues awhile back.

Take care of yourself...divorce is so awfully stressful. :(

"My pug is smarter than your honor student."

Cashew - This is when you need a nice tight green pine cone and a super accurate arm.

Deb -- I have IBS, so I know all about stress & stomach pain. I'm sorry to hear about the divorce; I hope it goes well for you. *hugs*

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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"

"LEAVE THE COUNTRY BEARS ALLLLLOOONEEEE!!!!"
-- christine the hoff

Since this is OP...I got mooned by a teenage boy while walking the dog today. A group of boys were in a minivan and they opened the door wide open to give me a view. I actually thought it was hilarious, but I gave them the bird while trying to contain a smile. But that bird was because the butt was ugly. Badly textured with a slight rash at the crack. Poor boys mama never taught him to exfoliate and moisturize.
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"I don't think anything can separate anything th super-connected. "
-LeAnn Rimes