Miss Venezuela Was Robbed!
Yes, the Miss Universe pageant is racist toward other planets, but I still watched all 2 hours of it last night, because one of my favorite pastimes is getting drunk while watching beauty pageant queens trip. I counted two beauty queen trips, but surprisingly, that wasn't the highlight of the night. That title goes to Miss Venezuela who killed the shit out of the Q&A part of the competition. Along with Miss USA (the boring winner), Miss Philippines, Miss Australia and Miss Brazil, Irene Sofia Esser Quintero made the top 5 and had to answer a question from one of the judges.
Miss Venezuela's intergalactic Christmas dress should've gotten her extra points and the way she sensually grabbed a question out of the glass bowl should've made the other queens exit stage right. But Miss Venezuela really cinched the title as the queen of my heart when this happened:
Diego Boneta: If you could make a new law, what would it be and explain why.
(The Spanish translator translated the question to Miss Venezuela and then she tried to answer it herself in English.)
Miss Venezuela: I think that any lazar in constitution are all ready made I think that we should have a straight way to go in our similar or our lives for example I'm a SURFER and the best way I can take is the wave I wait for it.... So, please? Do our only law that we can do. THANK YOU, VEGAS!
Bitch speaks English better than I do and her answer was more coherent than any post on Dlisted.
Most of us would probably spit out a tossed salad of words if we were standing in 16-inch glitter-encrusted stilettos on live TV and Andy Cohen was staring us down with his good eye while an alien ant's stomach moaned for food next to us. Not to mention that when Miss Venezuela stared into the audience, she probably saw a steaming orange turd (aka Donald Trump) sexing her up with his eyes. So she did ex-seh-len-tay, considering.
If I was the last gay dude in America, and therefore won Mr. Gay USA by default, and had to compete in the Mr. Gay Universe pageant in Venezuela, I'd end up in the hospital after trying to answer my question in Spanish. Because I'd sound so fucked up that they'd think I was having a seizure and Tourettes attack at the same time.
Here's some pictures of the new Miss Universe and the judges from last night's Miss Universe pageant in Las Vegas. I'm not even going to bother typing the names of the judges, because it's not like you'll recognize them anyway. Well, except for Giggy. He's the only A-lister in that ZZ-list buffet.
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I see that Lisa RHOBH had some 'work' done? Like MAJOR work. Ms. Rancid should stay home with her kid she was so desperate to have. I can't stand her. Hey, Jiggy (poor dog has no hair or fur)
Miss Venezuela's incoherent reply defies language! I mean if Courtney Love tried to sprekenze deutch, would she still not be out of her gourd?
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Aww I liked her answer. She was trying to drop some serious philosophy on the pagaent judges. I agree, all the laws that we ever need have already been made.
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
Submitted by girlfromipanema on Thu, 12/20/2012 - 3:37pm.
The national costumes are amazing.
http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/2012/12/miss-universe-national-costume-2012...
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Wow. They really are. It would never have occurred to me to look for that, so thanks for posting the link. Wish they'd done it alphabetically, though.
Miss Venezuela was robbed!
Kadooz to Guiliana and Andy Cohen for not busting up.
Trump looks like he wears gallons of Polo (the grossest male cologne ever). Pervy, ignorant fuck.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
¿Que?
Ummmm, what?
Fucking lol.
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
I don't know who Diego Boneta is, but he is Hot!Miss Venezuela is hot too, they need to throw her a bone, anyone sounds slow in the brains when they try to speak a second language they clearly don't know that fluently or use on a regular basis. Give her a break. That dress was FABULOUS!
That fancy furred rat in a tux that lady is holding must really hate it's life right about now.
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"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."
wait who is that strange looking creature after Trump in the thumbs, she looks like Alice the Goon
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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
Wow,very reminiscent of my last job interview. *Browses Indeed,chugs peppermint schnapps*
That pink velvet dress! LMAO! She looks like a special edition holiday Barbie.
ha ha I saw this, I was cracking up. Trump is disgusting
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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
I thought she said "I think any LAYS that are in constitution..."
Meh. She's hot and nobody really came to hear her speak.
OMG GIGGY!!♥
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
The national costumes are amazing.
http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/2012/12/miss-universe-national-costume-2012...
Umm.. she should have used the translator, lmao.
I think what she MAY have been saying was that all the laws are in the Constitution and are already made. Which is not exactly accurate.
And that.. um.. she waits for the right wave in her life to take? Oookay. LMAO.
the donald is hideous...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
I loved her response!
Jersey Strong
venezuela can't win every year
Haha Thank you,Vegas... GROSS @ Trump kissing her!! I would vom...
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...the end
If she was penalized because of the language barrier, that is not fair. If she's just goofy, well ok.
"...sometimes sucking on the same dick gets real boring." - MK's eloquent cousin
I didn't watch this mess, but this post is hilarious. I'm sure the audience applauded Miss Venezuela after she butchered her answer too. Hey, she tried to speak English, but since translators were made available, she should have taken advantage of it.
What's more sad than the fact that 10,000 animals got euthanized today? The fact that because of the ignorance of humans, it will happen again tomorrow. End the cycle. Spay and neuter your pets & please adopt your next pet from a shelter.
Come to think of it, maybe it was code. That it should be law to give Donald Trump endless swirlies. I'm on board with that as well.
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This shit is still on?
I got something about surfing and waves. Sounds good to me!!!
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