Yes, It's Finally Come To This
We knew this day would finally come and it's finally here. Just in time for the end of the world. I've covered every inch of Lindsay Lohan and now I'm finally covering her bowel movements. Yes, I'm about to write about how LiLo is so full of shit that she's clogging up every toilet she squats over. In the game of gossip limbo, I've finally gotten so low that my droopy ass lips are dragging against the sand. Congratulations to us all.
This BREAKING TOILETS NEWS story was first reported by Wetpaint a day ago and then TMZ picked it up this morning. Most us know that LiLo creates some major shit bombs (see: Liz & Dick) and some source told Wetpaint that the plumbers on the set of Scary Movie 5 learned that the hard way. They say that LiLo not only trashed her trailer, but she suffocated the toilet with her freckled poops. Because the toilets in the other trailers were connected by the system, they clogged too. So Ashley Tisdale, Simon Rex, Heather Locklear, Charlie Sheen and the rest of the cast had to shit in coffee cans. But TMZ has cleared this up (I'm not proud of that pun).
Their source (aka LiLo) says that LiLo was framed! LiLo is telling friends that she believes the producers sabotaged her trailer before she got there, because they were upset that she missed her first day of work due to "walking pneumonia." When LiLo did show up for work, the shower and toilet in her trailer were both broken, so she had to use the toilet in other trailers. After LiLo's shoot was finished, the producers accused her of screwing up the plumbing system and wanted her to pay up. LiLo's people went back and forth before she finally exhaled and shat up the money. LiLo agreed to let the producers take thousands of dollars from her paycheck to pay for repairs.
Lindsay Lohan can't even take a simple dump without it turning into a huge dramatic mess involving lawyers. But whatever, I blame the toilet. It's the toilet's fault for being such a perfect place to get rid of coke when the producers and insurance men try to find your hidden stash by bringing drug-sniffing dogs into your trailer. Blame the toilet.
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Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 12/19/2012 - 3:56pm.
GIVES YOU THE COKO COKO DRIZZLES!!!!!!!!!!
*snorts*
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"Coko Drizzlies" is what Hohan should've named her spray tan formula! (ok that was lame)
Submitted by Deb on Wed, 12/19/2012 - 4:27pm.
When I'm studying planets with my elementary school kids, I pray they don't giggle when we get to the one I make an effort to pronounce yer AH nus.
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"I don't think anything can separate anything that's super-connected. "
-LeAnn Rimes
That's right Deb, its YER AHNOOSE!
Little_rascal, you mean I can be green AND have a clean starfish?
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Whamo, I believe "Some Girls" was the Stones' last GREAT album. "Emotional Rescue", "Tattoo You", and "Undercover" were good. After that a few good songs here and there, but basically the Stones doing covers of themselves.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by CashewTime. on Wed, 12/19/2012 - 4:21pm.
Sucky,
Excuse me sir (?), but I was talking about Cotonelle WIPES. And my tp is Targay. Can you get the crust off your dirty kitchen pans with those pwetty sponges? No, you need some of that ruff scratchy shit. Your dingleberries ain't going nowhere with that Charmin rubbing like a pillow on your ass!
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oh my bad, do they have the same texture as the toilet paper because then I will buy them, because that same texture on a wet wipe must be perfect but for dry toilet paper and my hairy ass that is a no-no (no-no pun intended! d'hohohoohohhohooh) and some of us like pillows on our sleepy droopy used up ass lips thank you very much.
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Wed, 12/19/2012 - 3:52pm.
If you wax your ahnoose, then you get no butt klingons, Deb.
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Thanks for the tip, GG! LOL! So I guess you pronounce the planet YER-ahnoose, right?
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by little_rascal on Wed, 12/19/2012 - 4:25pm.
*whispers* Sucky, Seventh Generation Baby Wipes, no chemicals, no torn pieces, and leaves your butt squeaky clean.
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YES LIL_RAS Thank you! I bought them (Charmin brand too) they come in these boxes with cool designs on them (like circles and shit) and I use them when I wipe my ass raw because of slimey shit that will not leave my anus. Lil_ras♥♥♥
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Wed, 12/19/2012 - 3:54pm.
Submitted by Deb on Wed, 12/19/2012 - 3:48pm.
Fuckin' A, sucky! Charmin Extra Strong! Enjoy the go motherfuckers!
In the commercials the bears don;t have nasty butt klingons when they use the Charmin, so...
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yeah tell me about it, I remember when those commercials were first airing and they were like "these bears have pieces of butt toilet paper stuck to their butts" and I was like what kind of retard do you have to be to have toilet paper stuck to your ass, well it certainly was THIS kind of retard that did because I was seriously picking out those Cottonelle pieces like there was no tomorrow, and when they fell onto my shower floor, they looked like chunks of bird poop, I trust in the bears now, cha cha cha♫ Charminnn
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*whispers* Sucky, Seventh Generation Baby Wipes, no chemicals, no torn pieces, and leaves your butt squeaky clean.
+++++++++++++++++++
Submitted by Migraineuse on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:22pm.
All females belong to the sex class; they are subhuman buckets for male incontinence.
Sucky,
Excuse me sir (?), but I was talking about Cotonelle WIPES. And my tp is Targay. Can you get the crust off your dirty kitchen pans with those pwetty sponges? No, you need some of that ruff scratchy shit. Your dingleberries ain't going nowhere with that Charmin rubbing like a pillow on your ass!
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"I don't think anything can separate anything that's super-connected. "
-LeAnn Rimes
miz cynical -- are we surprised that Kenya is calling Walter gay? She is such a crazy bitch! And yeah, you know Phaedra cut off Apollo's allowance. And isn't Faye Resnick like 60 years old or something?
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
Kenya rachet as hell. LBVVS
Submitted by Deb on Wed, 12/19/2012 - 3:25pm.
Whamo, the Thompson Twins were ok, but for my money, THIS is the best "Lies"!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMMDHUhSfpc
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Good call Deb, perhaps the last good album they did?
I love that album by the way.
she can market her world famous turds...btw what happened to all the Liz and Dick money, Playboy money, Scary Movie 5 money, Canyong Money...she makes a crackhead in a tent look like a Rhodes Scholar accountant, btw, that is were she is heading too, cause bitch turns trick for major money and has done movies and magazine covers and still has no fucking money....can someone pls shoot this std infested turd monkey, I have no guns turned all of them in for $200....each (just kidding I never had guns...only water guns...)
Submitted by johnnysgirl on Wed, 12/19/2012 - 3:48pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 12/19/2012 - 3:34pm.
Submitted by johnnysgirl on Wed, 12/19/2012 - 3:32pm.
Doesn't coke make you constipated? She was probably dropping giant hard pooplogs as soon as her hungover ass got to the set (and right after her first starbucks). I bet she has anal fissures.
Nasty, inside and out.
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Opposite. Coke and meth are stimulants.
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Well, there goes my highly-scientific theory, hehe.
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GIVES YOU THE COKO COKO DRIZZLES!!!!!!!!!!
*snorts*
Orangina - the gossip is that Walter and kenya aren't currently together, that he does have a young, pretty girl, is doing interviews admitting that the relationship was fake, he just wanted publicity for his company and that Kenya is going around town calling Walter gay.
Twatty - I think Phaedra looks like a pig in the face! Oh, and I nearly died when Kenya suggested a threesome and dumbass Apollo actually continued to converse, like, "what are we talking about here, some head, sex, what?" I know that Phaedra took his allowance away that day! Yes, Faye is the worst! I think that Mauricio has fucked one of Kyle's friends already, it's just a matter of which one!
Lily85 -- the one I'm amazed by is Lily. She's like Kim Kardashian times 10, she's so ridiculous. And that whiny voice, I want to slap the shit out of her. She's obviously had huge implants and some plastic surgery already, and Reza is fascinated by her & her vapid ways.
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
Submitted by Deb on Wed, 12/19/2012 - 3:48pm.
Fuckin' A, sucky! Charmin Extra Strong! Enjoy the go motherfuckers!
In the commercials the bears don;t have nasty butt klingons when they use the Charmin, so...
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yeah tell me about it, I remember when those commercials were first airing and they were like "these bears have pieces of butt toilet paper stuck to their butts" and I was like what kind of retard do you have to be to have toilet paper stuck to your ass, well it certainly was THIS kind of retard that did because I was seriously picking out those Cottonelle pieces like there was no tomorrow, and when they fell onto my shower floor, they looked like chunks of bird poop, I trust in the bears now, cha cha cha♫ Charminnn
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Submitted by Lisbet459 on Wed, 12/19/2012 - 2:06pm.
I totally agree about vomit rather than shit explanation. I shared a house with a bulimic for 3 months and she managed to back up four toilets in a London town house despite only ever using one. Bad British plumbing if you like but also lets give a nod to the superpowers of barf.
If you wax your ahnoose, then you get no butt klingons, Deb.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Dinggleberries on long anal hairs or cocoa drizzles-which is a worse condition? Discuss...
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"I don't think anything can separate anything that's super-connected. "
-LeAnn Rimes
Submitted by johnnysgirl on Wed, 12/19/2012 - 3:50pm.
Right? I swear to God. I mean, I'm not that creative to make up shit like that. (no pun intended)
Say, does anyone else see the ad for ALLI above this thread?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
CHRISTINE LOLOLOL *crying*
Submitted by CashewTime. on Wed, 12/19/2012 - 3:48pm.
Oh baby, hearts and flowers!!!
Kenya fuckin on Nene. HHMMM MMM
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 12/19/2012 - 3:34pm.
Submitted by johnnysgirl on Wed, 12/19/2012 - 3:32pm.
Doesn't coke make you constipated? She was probably dropping giant hard pooplogs as soon as her hungover ass got to the set (and right after her first starbucks). I bet she has anal fissures.
Nasty, inside and out.
**********************************************
Opposite. Coke and meth are stimulants.
------------------------
Well, there goes my highly-scientific theory, hehe.
Fuckin' A, sucky! Charmin Extra Strong! Enjoy the go motherfuckers!
In the commercials the bears don;t have nasty butt klingons when they use the Charmin, so...
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Christine,
Sigh, and I thought I was a romantic before..
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"I don't think anything can separate anything that's super-connected. "
-LeAnn Rimes
bitch don't you tell me about Cottonelle, that shit sticks to my long anus hairs and then I am spending 15min in the shower pulling them out like dingle berries, I switched to ♪Cha cha cha♫ Charmin and everything is cool now
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Well, no shitting times but when I was nine months preggers with my first, I was riding my husband and when I came, I peed all over him...
he said, "You don't know whether you're coming or going!"
Cashew - EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!
Cashew -- hey, love!
Orangina -- but don't you think Phaedra is ridiculous? She's so much older than Apollo! And she looks like a pug dog with makeup on. She's so fake with her funeral business. And when she showed up on vacation with that mesh outfit she looked like an old hooker. But yeah, Walter can't wait to shake Kenya loose. I don't think he can get a better-looking girl, but he can definitely get someone more sane. At this point, any woman is more sane than Kenya. I like Kandi the best.
miz cynical -- out of all the husbands, I like Ken the best. He's too damn old to want sex all the time, he's rich, and he carries Giggy around all the time, what's not to love? And fuck, does Faye Resnick look like an ape or what? What's she famous for, banging one of O.J. Simpson's friends 20 years ago? I wouldn't doubt if Mauricio & Brandi are screwing on the side; I see something going on there.
And what the fuck is going on with those koalaswim.com ads on dlisted? Shit, can you imagine Jon Hamm's hamm dong in one of those???
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
P.S. Spoiled tunafish smelling hands....
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
♪ I was reading a book
♫ when I felt something cook
DIARRHEA!!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Lofl!
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"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."
Leave LiLo aloooooone when she shits - have you fuckin hators no decency?!
--
Do you want a banana?
No i don't wanna
When you think your friends are joking
but your pants are brown and soaking
Diarrhea, diarrhea.
Ahahaha.
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"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."
Mickyholland,
Yep. Team Cottonelle here also. No excuses for that, unless you have major olds.
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"I don't think anything can separate anything that's super-connected. "
-LeAnn Rimes
Oh god CashewTime - that's awful.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
BITCH NEEDS TO BTFU!!!
Why are you guys doing this to me!!!! *sprays Febreez through thread*
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
ME-
I went on a couple of dates with a guy who worked at a nursing home. On our third date I smelled things. While we were making out. Still makes me shudder three years later.
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"I don't think anything can separate anything that's super-connected. "
-LeAnn Rimes
No GG! Poo and cigs and ball-cheese smelling hands! Gah!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
OMG I love Shahs of Sunset. How bitchy is Reza?!
And Lilo looks like Carmen Electra in this picture.
How are you going to fight for some dick if you don't even know whether or not the dick is good? The dick might not even be worth getting into a Rock-Paper-Scissors fight over, let alone a fist fight. - MK
Scientific studies have proven toilets to be proven bad influences!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Oh my god Deb...poo smelling hands *akkkk1*
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
UBF, ass-smellers???
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by johnnysgirl on Wed, 12/19/2012 - 3:32pm.
Doesn't coke make you constipated? She was probably dropping giant hard pooplogs as soon as her hungover ass got to the set (and right after her first starbucks). I bet she has anal fissures.
Nasty, inside and out.
**********************************************
Opposite. Coke and meth are stimulants.
Submitted by CashewTime. on Wed, 12/19/2012 - 3:12pm.
now I'm gonna imagine her smelling like poop all the time. Have any of y'all ever had to be around someone who has the bad wiper smell coming out of their backs?
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Several, most of them elderly or obese. Yesterday infact I happened upon one, elderly in the Walgreens while picking up NyQuil for BH.
*huah huah* he reeked of BenGay and diarrhea.