Open Post: Hosted By Jessica Simpson’s New Weight Watchers Commercial

December 19, 2012 / Posted by:

In Jessica Simpson’s first commercial for Weight Watchers, they only showed her FACE! and about 1/100th of her Cinerama Dome titties, because she wasn’t at her goal weight yet and Paula Abdul refused to give them the secret thinning technology she used for her Promise of A New Day video. Now here’s Jessica’s newest Weight Watchers commercial and they actually show her entire body. While trying to remind us that she was once Daisy Duke, she tells us that she’s free, 50 pounds lighter and she’s totally in control top panty hose. Well, she’s mostly in control. Jessica seemed to forget that she got knocked up again, because her gold digging piece switched her chocolate-covered birth control pills with chocolate-covered Smarties.

Since a Great Lake of Amniotic Fluid is forming in Jessica’s body, she’s not really going to look like that in a couple of months. But since she wants to keep that Weight Watchers money coming in, don’t expect her to ever admit that she’s pregnant. At CaCee Cobb’s wedding over the weekend, Jessica held a bouquet in front of her growing fetus cocoon the entire time. So as she continues to get bigger, she’ll cover her  bump with a briefcase, then a potted plant, then a basket full of German Shepard puppies, then a Kardashian and then Randy’s Giant Donut. She’s gonna Heather Locklear it the entire time.

via The Daily Mail 

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