Claire Danes Had A Baby

December 19, 2012 / Posted by:

I should be up to date on the vacancy status of Angela Chase’s uterus, but I’m not, so the ball of popped bubble wrap I call a brain completely forgot that she was knocked up. But Claire Danes is not knocked up anymore, because she gave birth to her first kid sometime yesterday. Seeing the words “Claire Danes” and “pregnant” in the same sentence makes me remember the days when Billy Crudup left a knocked up Mary-Louise Parker for her ass. Anyway, People has all the details you care about (aka the baby name):

It will be a very happy holiday for Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy!

The Homeland star, 33, and her actor husband welcomed their first child, son Cyrus Michael Christopher Dancy, on Monday, Dec. 17, her rep confirms to PEOPLE exclusively.

Yes, CYRUS MICHAEL CHRISTOPHER. That baby is a first name hoarder. How many first names does one baby need?! Bitch should’ve paid tribute to her roots by naming her kid Rickie Rayanne, but she just had to go with Cyrus. Cyrus as in Billy Ray. Cyrus as in that annoying movie starring Jonah Hill. Cyrus as in the guy from The Real World: Boston who spelt it “Syrus” and got in trouble for sexing the mother of a student from the after-school program he volunteered at.

The only good thing about Claire and Hugh giving their kid the name Cyrus is that when he grows up and writes a tell-all about how he hates them for naming him Cyrus, he can call it “Cyrusiously tho?

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