Ben Affleck And Kristen Stewart Aren’t Going To Bone In A Movie After All

December 19, 2012 / Posted by:

“Cheater Kristen Wrecking Another Marriage?” was the hilarious question on InTouch Weekly’s cover a month ago when Ben Affleck signed on to star opposite Kristen Stewart in a movie that required them to bump genital guards under bright lights in front of a film crew. InTouch basically said that Jennifer Garner should use a neti pot every day to keep her nostrils clean, because she’s going to need to sniff his dick for the scent of weed-infused saliva when he comes home from the set. But Jennifer Garner doesn’t need to do that anymore, because Ben Affleck dropped out.

Focus was written by the same writers who wrote Crazy Stupid Love and it’s about a con man who falls in love with a con woman and doesn’t know if he should choose her or the con. BLAH. It was supposed to star Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone, but right after they quit that bitch, Ben Affleck jumped on. Shortly after Ben Affleck signed on, a thousand “this is like Ben and Blake Lively all over again” jokes came up when Kristen Stewart signed on for the con chick role. Variety says that Ben really wanted to do the movie, but he’s not looking to make Gigli 2 too busy with other projects. They’re looking for another dude to replace him.

Please. Ben Affleck really exited stage left, because he knows that he just doesn’t have the trained skills as a thespian to handle the carousel of raw emotions that Kristen Stewart throws at her co-stars during scenes. Stick to your fluff movies like Argo, Ben Affleck!

And every time KStew signs up for a movie, are we going to get a story about how she’s going to fuck her married co-star? Do we really need to turn her into some master seductress who can pull a married man’s ring off of his finger with her coochie? Sienna Miller, she ain’t.

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