Ben Affleck And Kristen Stewart Aren't Going To Bone In A Movie After All
"Cheater Kristen Wrecking Another Marriage?" was the hilarious question on InTouch Weekly's cover a month ago when Ben Affleck signed on to star opposite Kristen Stewart in a movie that required them to bump genital guards under bright lights in front of a film crew. InTouch basically said that Jennifer Garner should use a neti pot every day to keep her nostrils clean, because she's going to need to sniff his dick for the scent of weed-infused saliva when he comes home from the set. But Jennifer Garner doesn't need to do that anymore, because Ben Affleck dropped out.
Focus was written by the same writers who wrote Crazy Stupid Love and it's about a con man who falls in love with a con woman and doesn't know if he should choose her or the con. BLAH. It was supposed to star Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone, but right after they quit that bitch, Ben Affleck jumped on. Shortly after Ben Affleck signed on, a thousand "this is like Ben and Blake Lively all over again" jokes came up when Kristen Stewart signed on for the con chick role. Variety says that Ben really wanted to do the movie, but he's not looking to make Gigli 2 too busy with other projects. They're looking for another dude to replace him.
Please. Ben Affleck really exited stage left, because he knows that he just doesn't have the trained skills as a thespian to handle the carousel of raw emotions that Kristen Stewart throws at her co-stars during scenes. Stick to your fluff movies like Argo, Ben Affleck!
And every time KStew signs up for a movie, are we going to get a story about how she's going to fuck her married co-star? Do we really need to turn her into some master seductress who can pull a married man's ring off of his finger with her coochie? Sienna Miller, she ain't.
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Submitted by Lisbet459 on Thu, 12/20/2012 - 8:32am.
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Oh I'm aware that snark is highly encouraged, if not one of the cards you have swipe to get in to these glorious forums(jk), however, I don't come here for the hate, I come here because I find it interesting and MK has a funny and awesome way of expressing himself, along with a lot of you sluts.
Also, I have to agree, her style is fucking jacked up, and even if she doesn't know what the fuck she is doing, she could atleast pay a professional who did. DAMN!
And of course she's a douche, anyone who acts like they hate the industry for which they work for when no one is forcing them in that industry is a fucking ungrateful douche...plus ya'know twilight...
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"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Thu, 12/20/2012 - 10:46am.
I thought he was pretty good in The Town (I think that's the name) I agree though, he is developing into a really good director.
I hope he get's a nom for Argo.
I like J Garner. Girl focuses on her kids then glams. up for films. And she doesn't feel the need to be gorgeous all the time. I think it's great.
That pic of K. Stewart is hideous.
Ben Affleck is a much better director than actor, IMO. He did pretty good in Argo, and the movie itself was excellent. But his previous roles have all been pretty meh.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
If you removed the scandal and tabloid romance with her more popular co-star, what you have is an actress with no formal training, who has outlasted her range. Her career has been extended by Twilight. Now she has little to offer. There is only so much angst in cinema. And I do find it appalling that she is publicly asking for acting work. Apparently the behind the scenes negotiations are no longer getting her roles. She has a crack PR team. They have micromanaged every step. Ruth managed LiLo before we know she was crazy. She specializes in difficult to sell starlets. It seems that Ruth has finally played all of her cards.
I am serious. As time passes, I do believe the affair was staged. I thought that it wasn't possible because who would do that to children? Who would publicly humiliate their partners like that? But the fact that the couples stayed together, and that Kristen is doing SWATH2 and Rupert Sanders got another directing job, and press (PR) is promoting Kristen as a femme fatale a la Jolie, therefore breaking the mold of the teen actress, smells like deceit to me.
Annoyed.
Why....does.....she....keep....getting....roles?
I went to see The Town screening at Fenway. Both Affleck and Damon were there, sitting in the crowd talking to us like they were regular Joe's. Very cool, both of them.
Fuck she has such an ugly mug, how do you perpetually have bags under your dull eyes at the age of 20-something (I don't know how old turtle face is and I want to keep it that way by not Googling her boring ass).
"No intelligent life form writes in caps lock" ~GOD
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
I really thought KStew was going to be gone after all of the twilight shit. She seems so unhappy all of the time.
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...the end
Thanks Lisbet459- I jump on the Dlisted bandwagon all the time. This time is the what-the-hell-is-so-special about this pale girl one.
If Kristen Stewart depended on my dollar to make a living she'd be broke as Lohan.
BLAH!!!
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Who decided KStew would be good in a comedy? Angsty emo is her bread and butter.
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"Somewhere, Jennifer Love Hewitt is vagazzling the words "FUCK MY LIFE" onto her crotch while deep throating a Pillsbury cookie dough roll".--MK
Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Thu, 12/20/2012 - 2:24am.
I'm not saying this because I'm trying to jump on the Kristen Stewart hate bandwagon, but ugh, I don't know if it's the shades of makeup she chooses to go for or what, but putting makeup on her is like putting makeup on a block of wood. Ugh...
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Honey, this is Dlisted. Jumping on hate bandwagons has to be one of the main purposes of coming here.
But yes, I agree about the makeup. It's not that she's exactly bad looking, even by H'Wood standards. It's that she's a horrible person, and she doesn't know how to work what she has. And learning would be, like, selling out, y'know, like? Same as it would be if she - *bites lip* - learned how to be, uh, articulate - *sighs* - and shit?
She needs to stop emphasising her lips. Just...stop. She needs to consistently wash her hair for events. She also needs to work out how to style it so as not to emphasise her ears. She needs to suck it up, do her job, and smile. If nothing else, it makes her prettier, and reassures directors that she's a team player and will actively promote the film, rather than deign to show up to a few events. (Her current demeanour can't be impressing the people in power.)
She needs to find a way to do eye makeup that doesn't involve smearing ever more black eyeliner on. (What is she, 14?) She has a full face - not quite baby fat, but no cheekbones. Nothing wrong with that, so why the blusher? It's harsh, and it's not fooling anyone that she has angles. Look at Jennifer Lawrence for tips.
She needs to work out the very basic wardrobe staples before she tries to be unique. (Sheer blue flower dress over 1940s bikini, I'm looking at you.) If she feels she needs 80s makeup to work such strong dresses, then she needs to wear simpler dresses.
Most of all, not acting like a sulky 14 y/o at a family Christmas would be great. I think I could forgive her total lack of style if she wasn't such a self important douche.
Submitted by dementa on Wed, 12/19/2012 - 11:00pm.
He probably knows that if he had the movie, he'd either end up fucking her or everyone would assume he fucked her. And that would be risking his image now that he's becoming a For-Real Srs Actor/Director!
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I'm not sure he'd care about his reputation as - I have to repeat this word for word - For-Real Srs Actor/Director! At least not most of the time. Most people, including yours truly, assume he did Blake Lively on the set of The Town. Didn't seem to hurt him too much.
The real problems are that (1) Jennifer Garner would have had something to say about it. I get the sense that she's resigned herself to the fact that he'll hump anything that's not furniture. Having it splashed around the tabloids, and everyone assuming she's a cockqueen (female version of cuckold) would be a step too far.
And (2) he's looking for an Oscar nomination right how. Normally, he wouldn't care who knows he's a dawg. But the Oscar voters could hurt him. No bad rumours until they lose that ability.
Grifters conning each other has been done lots in films. What carries it off is the basic likeability or sexiness of the con artists. In the case of KStew, there's no "there" there (to quote Gertrude Stein).
Submitted by johnnysgirl on Thu, 12/20/2012 - 3:50am.
Who wants to see either of these two boring poops get secksy anyway?
KStew: *lip bite* ehh
Affleck: hurrr
KStew: uhh, er, I mean, *lip lick* derrr
Affleck: Unnngh, I'm so...bleh
KStew: *inhale*.......... *exhale, DURRRR
Affleck: mmfffrrrrr, guh *face paw*
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Now THAT I would watch.
Think of the outtakes as she tugged his rug off.
Who wants to see either of these two boring poops get secksy anyway?
KStew: *lip bite* ehh
Affleck: hurrr
KStew: uhh, er, I mean, *lip lick* derrr
Affleck: Unnngh, I'm so...bleh
KStew: *inhale*.......... *exhale, DURRRR
Affleck: mmfffrrrrr, guh *face paw*
Submitted by dementa: " ... how can someone who looks like a teen boy in drag (and is even more awkward) and has the grace of a lobotomized rhino be the new homewrecker?"
HAHAHAHAHA. Poetry.
these two sorta look made for each other. completely common looking male and female, sub-par even (certainly by hollywood/celebrity standards anyway).
that would've been one helluva boring flick.
whew
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
Did anyone see that crazy Leane rimes fucked up performance on the x factor ??? Hope she didn't ruin Carly's chances at winning.
I'm not saying this because I'm trying to jump on the Kristen Stewart hate bandwagon, but ugh, I don't know if it's the shades of makeup she chooses to go for or what, but putting makeup on her is like putting makeup on a block of wood. Ugh...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."
They are both tools. Thank goodness we will not have to hear about these two in a movie together!
Absolutely, dementa. When Angelina was gorgeous and wild there would be no way I would have allowed my man to be in the same city with her, never mind getting paid to onscreen sex her. Oh, Angie. The face that launched a million lip injections.
Something nice about Stewart, when she washes her hair it's quite pretty.
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"If you're going through hell, keep going" ~ Winston Churchill
garner has him well controlled
Submitted by Talkdirty2me on Thu, 12/20/2012 - 1:15am.
We haven't had a decent femme fatale since back when Angelina was pretty.
Srsly, how can someone who looks like a teen boy in drag (and is even more awkward) and has the grace of a lobotomized rhino be the new homewrecker?
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Probably the saddest piece of news I have heard all day. How will I go on...to yank away such a promising on screen chemistry from the world is a crime.
;)
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She is just not,not,not sexy. him I have no opinion.
I can't stand either one of them. Never understood what all the fuss was over him. And I hate his cheesey smile.
I bet Jennifer was like 'OH HALE NO!' in her best NeNe Leakes voice.
* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *
www.poopreport.com :)
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
Really Hollywood? This is the face of our femme fatale now? Friday can't come fast enough, bring on the apocalypse.
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"If you're going through hell, keep going" ~ Winston Churchill
Holleyweird and their chosen ones... So many talented people out there, yet they always rotate the same mother fuckers they wanna shove down our throats.. Sick of it!
Being in a movie with her I think will be a step backwards for him.
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PEPPERS AND THE ALIENS
Well done, Jen Garner.
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"I don't know how to argue my existence with someone who has reviewed a gas station." ~~Laurie Notaro
good god, look at that self important smug look on him and great glum pic (are there any other?) of her also. she looks like she has two black eyes and hasn't slept in a week!
this movie smells like a shitfest. She'll forever be known as the Twilight star. I doubt she'll top that tween trilogy. I admit, I kinda found the first one alright, and it was a first for me that the book was much worse than the first movie. Reading that sent me back to fourth grade. It was written in ''50 shades of Gray'' style, from the quotes I read on the latter, but rated G.
I'd take a break, do some soul searching or growing up, hide away from that horrible black cloud hovering over her life everywhere she goes (those damn paps!!), and wait for a suitable role and movie, a bit. This is not it.
edited.
She really is the most awkward clothing model, even a simple white gown it looks like she's struggling. And I thought Affleck was running for Senator from Massachusetts. He and Fauxchohontas would be a lovely couple that state so richly deserves. That's probably why he quit the movie.
Submitted by mike on Wed, 12/19/2012 - 10:18pm.
I have a friend who's met him. He has a habit of looking right through people he doesn't deem important. I think he's intelligent, but most likely an a-hole.
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"I don't think anything can separate anything that's super-connected. "
-LeAnn Rimes
She's so gross. She is the anti-sexy.
The Twatlight franchise is mercifully over and done with. Shouldn't this trick's 15 minutes be up....yesterday?
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
matt damon is hotter than kstew... and im straight. i don't see what all the hoopla is about this broad
"Is your name Michael Diamond?" "Naw, mine's Clarence..."
Boning your costar...isn't that just normal practice for Hollywood? They should have just boned each other right away just to get it over with.
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...meh...they're both insufferable...
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...'Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason '...
He probably knows that if he had the movie, he'd either end up fucking her or everyone would assume he fucked her. And that would be risking his image now that he's becoming a For-Real Srs Actor/Director!
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Pretty sure his dropping out had nothing to do with too many projects, and everything to do with his wife saying "no way".
Affleck sniffed the air and found it was nasty...and moved on.
Good advise to anyone who thinks casting KStew is a good idea.
I like Ben. He's well-spoken and doesn't seem too much the douche.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Wed, 12/19/2012 - 9:39pm.
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Garner's "birth control" glasses? - bwak bwak bwak that made me laugh out loud. Evidently, they are broken GG!
KStew a seductress? Come on. They are milking it hard. Meh, the less I see of them, the hotter they are. Take their shirts off! ;)
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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I like Ben Affleck a whole lot even though he is a progressive liberal. He is a well spoken, cool dude, and doesn't try to shove his beliefs down your throat or say anything too liberally squirrelly. Unlike Matt Damon. My ass was laying in bed about a week ago and I started watching his movie The Town. Not my kind of movie, but I got sucked into it and it was surprising good. He is a very good actor, and a surprisingly thoughtful person.
Submitted by Nanners on Wed, 12/19/2012 - 9:18pm.
lmao
Jennifer Garner in Elektra looked pretty hot...I guess I'm one of the few who followed her from the early Alias days.
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"Carousel of raw emotions" har har har!!!!