What Did Tommy Get Suri Cruise For Christmas?
Suri Cruise gets to spend the Christmas holiday with her daddy and that's good news for her, because Tommy Girl is actually fun. Unlike strict ass Katie Holmes, Tommy lets Suri do whatever she wants like slap the maids for serving her hot cocoa two degrees too hot, slap the Christmas tree for getting too dry too fast and slap Tia John Travolta for eating all of the frosted fruitcake. Also, Katie probably got Suri a bunch of cheap boring gifts like educational toys, sneakers (so she can walk on her own more, BOO) and peasant clothes from Old Navy. Tommy knows what Suri really likes, because apparently this Christmas he got her a pony and a mansion! Eat it, Veruca Salt.
The incredibly reliable and not-at-all-fictional news source Grazia Magazine (via ShowbizSpy) says that on Christmas morning, Suri Cruise will open a box holding the key to her new $13.5 million mansion in Upstate NY. Some source (aka the intern at Grazia who is mad that they had to stay in the office during Christmas break) says that Tommy bought Suri a pony and the pony can't possibly live in Katie's Manhattan apartment, so he bought his daughter a house. (Side note: Tommy is the same size as a pony, is just as loud, always has accidents on the floor and Katie lets him inside of her apartment. So why wouldn't she let a pony live there?)
The source says that Suri has so many toys that don't fit in Katie's apartment, so Tommy is hoping she can keep them in her new mansion. The source put it like this:
“Tom is determined to make this the best Christmas ever. Obviously there isn’t anywhere to keep a pony at Katie’s apartment, so this place is ideal. It also has space for her toys, many of which have been in storage since Katie quit their LA mansion."
When Katie's mad, she'll scream at Suri, "Go upstate to your multi-million dollar mansion, young lady!" and that just feels right. It also feels right that Suri is the girl version of Richie Rich. I'm sure Suri's new mansion is actually a giant Scientology-made spaceship that will take her to her mother planet when Earth implodes, but whatever, she's still got her own place! Take that, Blue Ivy Carter.
Speaking of BIC, Suri Cruise probably thinks she showed her up, but all that will change on Christmas Day when we all find out that Beyonce and Jay-Z bought Blue Ivy the island territory of Guam.
Here's Katie and Suri in NYC this morning and Tommy leaving Letterman last night. Tommy's sweater, button shirt and undershirt can't contain his sweaty hotness.
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Submitted by Lisbet459 on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 4:58pm.
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Hey Lis can't get the clip to play but I think I know which one it was.
I liked Craig Ferguson's clip as well
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kEJ3a5ZMY1Y
Submitted by can be a pushy broad on Tue,
Hi Whamo:) yeah, this one is wound(sp?) tighter than a frog's ass.
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Hey there Pushy, that's a good one:)
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by miz cynical on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 4:56pm.
@ Whamo -
Jack Reacharound, etc. :)
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That's right too, I was half paying attention to it, I just remember when the interview was over I didn't really know what he was promoting. Now I'll have to look into it and see what the movie is about.
Jack "I'm not gay le't go for some not gay ice cream." Reacher
Watch Tome Cruise in his new film, JACK FLAMER
That's going to help her be totally appreciative and well-adjusted. Not.
I feel seriously bad for Connor and Isabella. Their parents had blood-related kids and it's like they won the g.d. lottery and they're all that we read about.
Lol@ Jesus Fucking Christ avi!
<"Submitted by SANS FARDS on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 5:05pm.
Batshit insane though he may be, Tommy Girl has aged incredibly well.">
Thanks to Brazil's famous plastic surgeons where the best in the world flock to have this nipped and that tucked from the best surgeons who have also fled there. It's pretty well know TommyGirl is a regular visitor.
Tommy always looks like his clothes are a size too small. Someone get this guy a stylist.
Boredasfuckyo,,,,,you said it best. I hate a fucking brat and their bratty parents. You just want to drive a nail thru their forehead,,,one of those big ones they use to build houses.
Submitted by louise_brooks on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 4:59pm.
Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 4:58pm.
Reminds me of Harry Potter's cousin, Dudley.
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Lmao! It's been forever since I watched a Harry Potter movie, was Dudley a brat who didn't fall far from the tree, because that's I clearly see why my friend's kids are such jackasses, I don't have to look any farther than her ass. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."
If Tommy Girl really did buy Suri a fucking mansion then Suri is going furious with Katie about the $24,000 'playhouse'.
Katie: "Here is your present darling."
Suri: "Oh that's cute. My dolls will love it here. It was nice of you to get them a present. Now....where is my real present?"
Katie: "This is your real present. It's for you to play in."
Suri: "WHAT!?!?!"
Katie: "Suri!"
Suri: "Daddy is right! YOU'RE A BITCH!!! I want to live with him!!!"
FML, the fucking heater is blowing cold air. Here comes a couple of hundred in repairs.
I'll bet Suri's doll house is heated! I hate 'em all!!!!!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
is that Will Smith?
Coma Caca!
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For why can't the pony live at Tommy's?
Batshit insane though he may be, Tommy Girl has aged incredibly well.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Why can't the pony live in this 24 grand playhouse?
I dont like Katie or her little kid anymore... Tom Cruise will forever be a movie star! Who the eff are they?
If Connor is his real son, who incubated him?
My kids are getting no bullshit toys or gadgets this year. Clothes, each a book they've been hounding us about, crossbows, new bikes. Stuff they will actually USE. And as always, socks and underwear as stocking stuffers, because I'm stupid like that. Kids always need more chonies and socks.
At least she has Katie has her other parent to offset the crazy parenting from Tom. I'm not sure why he thinks that more presents and spoiling her is the answer here -- I don't seem to remember that Conor and Isabella were treated like this.
Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 4:58pm.
Reminds me of Harry Potter's cousin, Dudley.
ETA: Yeah, that's totally Tom's son. Look at the thumb #2 where you see Conner in profile.
I'm totally Team Connor is his real son
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Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 09/19/2012 - 10:19am.
Bitch, you are not better then Keanu Reeves!
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 4:47pm.
There is nothing relaxed about Tom Cruise
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Anyone remember this?
http://tinyurl.com/3smnro
I'm all for giving your kids the shit you never had, but when your kid has everything in a toys r'us(Then this case the rich peoples version, same outcome in terms of insufferabilty) and spoiled as hell, and you're sitting wondering why they are uncontrollable insufferable little self-entitled assholes who think they are owed something simply for existing and didn't actually EARN IT, look in the mirror and blame yourself, because you are a fucking failure as a parent and just contributed to another future asshole adult. I have a friend(who is obnxious in public, which is why I hardly ever go in said public with them) whom I went Christmas shopping with, and she literally was just like, "well this is what they want" and every place we went as she was looking for shit to buy she was like, "what do you think i should get?" Everything I pointed to and suggested, was met with "they already have that", mind you, her kids are 13,6 and 7. The 13 year old is a girl, and is such a smart mouth little twat already. She was like what did you want at 13?...I was like...a computer (mind you this was back in the late 90s) and she was like, oh she already has that, along with an ipod, ipad and laptop....*punches a brick wall*
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"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."
LMFAO @ "wound tighter than a frogs ass"
@ Whamo - he was probably promoting his new movie "Jack Reacher"....the title lets the jokes write themselves....Jackmeoff Reacharound, Jack Reacharound, etc. :)
The padded upper-body Freshman-QB underfoundation by International Male has never been used to greater effect. It really takes attention away from those child-bearing hips.
Submitted by bridgjones on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 4:52pm.
Throwing this out there. Conner looks A LOT like Tom, down to the lifts in his shoes. Short dudes aren't THAT plentiful are they?
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A lot of people here, including me, believe Conner is Tom's bio kid. I see a major resemblance (sp?).
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Dark-sided!
Aww, man! Now I'm looking at his crotch! And, are those brown heels with black pants?
I noticed in Mission Impossible 4 or 20 or whatever, that even though he's fit, he can't fight the fact that he's just getting older, so it's some old man paunch on top of muscles, so I think that's why he's starting to look like he's pear shaped. I think he's wearing some Spanx under his clothes in that photo. Poor Tammy!
Wrinkles in crotch, time to go up a notch.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 4:47pm.
There is nothing relaxed about Tom Cruise
Hi Whamo:) yeah, this one is wound(sp?) tighter than a frog's ass. He has short thick legs I think.
Throwing this out there. Conner looks A LOT like Tom, down to the lifts in his shoes. Short dudes aren't THAT plentiful are they?
Do Scientoloholes even celebrate Christmas? I mean seriously Jehovah's Witnesses ignore it and from some employees I've know make it a point they don't celebrate it. Wonder if Ashton and Demi wear their red thread while spinning the dradle?
No good can come of this.
Someone flunking Home Ec had to have sewn that zipper in.
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If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.
I watched him on Letterman last night, he seemed to be doing an awful lot of laughing and again he just seems like he has his guard up 24/7. There is nothing relaxed about Tom Cruise.
Someone here said he looked pear shaped the other day, I did notice his legs seemed weirdly thick like the people that look perfectly normal when they're sitting at a table but then the stand up and it's like their torso is attached to a completely different heavier person.
I can't even remember what he was promoting
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 4:40pm.
Submitted by guest on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 4:28pm.
His sweater is too tight. *feels uncomfortable*
His crotch is groaning against the fabric too. Feel better? NO!!!!:)His pants are too tight. ugh Thx for the tune Lucy:)
Snowy- right? Let's find out where it is and become squatters in it.
Try and evict us, Suri! We're bigger then you!
*sticks out tongue*
Already getting ponies and mansions at 6 years old, WTF is she going to get at 16? Islands?
JFC.
Submitted by Few Words on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 4:39pm.
katie holmes spent $24,000 on doll out for that brat.
Project Runway must really be shelling out for guest spots.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 4:40pm.
Submitted by guest on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 4:28pm.
His sweater is too tight. *feels uncomfortable*
His crotch is groaning against the fabric too. Feel better?
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Now pay attention, kids. Lucifer has just pulled off the advanced rhetorical device of setting the house on fire to distract from the sauce stain on the sitting room floor.
(In other words, I was perfectly comfortable having not ever looked below Tommy Girl's belt, dammit.)
DP
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Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 09/19/2012 - 10:19am.
Bitch, you are not better then Keanu Reeves!
Connor looks like a stalker
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Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 09/19/2012 - 10:19am.
Bitch, you are not better then Keanu Reeves!
Lucy- "groaning"! LMAO
I can't say anything bad about his outfit. He's certainly looked worse.
Submitted by Few Words on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 4:39pm.
well aint this rich: katie holmes spent $24,000 on doll out for that brat. here is photo.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/17/suri-cruise-24000-playhouse-kat...
give that money to the poor you stupid moron.
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Wow! My girls would ADORE that! I think I'll get them that for Christms if I can find one for $50!
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Dark-sided!
Few Words: I saw that yesterday, that damn doll house is waaaay nicer than my real one
:(
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Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 09/19/2012 - 10:19am.
Bitch, you are not better then Keanu Reeves!
Pony? No problem. There's a stable in NY. Mansion? Big problem. Lord knows how many buttplugs Xenu left in the joint.
Submitted by guest on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 4:28pm.
His sweater is too tight. *feels uncomfortable*
His crotch is groaning against the fabric too. Feel better?
NO! & I'm not looking! Lalalalalala
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"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."
IF- I think Tommy Girl probably owns more heels then all of us on this forum combined.
well aint this rich: katie holmes spent $24,000 on doll out for that brat. here is photo.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/17/suri-cruise-24000-playhouse-kat...
give that money to the poor you stupid moron.
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Holy shit, Connor Cruise looks older than his dad.