My corroded vulture heart dropped out of my ass yesterday when some tricky motherfucker sent me an email with the subject: “Hot Reporter Kidnapped In Syria!” I thought The Silver Fox was getting tortured and slapped around in Syria. But it wasn’t Anderson Cooper who was kidnapped, it was a different hot reporter. NBC News’ chief foreign correspondent, Richard Engel, and his crew were kidnapped by unidentified captors while reporting in Syria five days ago. The media found out about the story early on, but were asked by NBC to keep their fat mouths shut while Jessica Chastain and Anna Faris’ husband looked for them. Yesterday, several media outlets broke the blackout and reported the story, but thankfully this one has a happy-ish ending.
Richard and his team were all freed yesterday after a firefight between rebels and their captors. Richard and his crew told their story on Today this morning. Richard said that while reporting in Syria, 15 masked gunmen grabbed them, blindfolded them and tied them up. For the next few days, they weren’t allowed to talk and were subjected to mock executions. They were also moved from location to location and put through psychological torture. Their captors kept asking them which one of them wanted to die first. Shit was looking bleak until their captors came across a rebel checkpoint and a gun fight went down. Two of their captors were killed in the battle and the rebels took them. After spending a night with the rebels, they were taken to Turkey.
Richard thinks that his kidnappers were from a pro-Assad group and were planning to trade them for Iranian agents. Richard and his crew are okay and his immaculate hair wave was left unharmed. Richard’s hair brings back memories of rolling my bangs with a roll brush in the bathroom mirror before drenching it with White Rain hairspray. I got up a half-hour early just to get hair like that.
Here’s Richard and his colleagues talking about their traumatic experience. In the NBC movie based on their ordeal, they will be played by Jeremy Piven, Dylan Walsh and Olivia Newton-John’s ex-boyfriend (the one who faked his death).