Pimp Mama Kris And Bruce Jenner Are Faking Their Love For The Sake Of What's Really Important
And no, by "what's really important" I don't mean their dumb kids. Who cares about them! Pimp Mama Kris and Bruce Jenner are pretending to be happily married for the sake of their checking accounts and relevancy. You know, things that REALLY matter.
There's been a rumor going around that claims when Bruce Jenner is awaken in the morning to the sound of Pimp Mama Kris unchaining him from the bed, he wishes that he was completely free of her and could calmly sit without the sound of cackling whores stabbing him in the ears. Bruce Jenner already denied that his marriage was in trouble, but that's probably because PMK told him he had to say that or she'd drug him, stuff his butt with silicone implants, throw a black wig on his head, legally change his name to "Kandee Kardashian" and whore him out on the stroll with her other girls. But a source tells Radar that the state of PMK and Bruce's marriage matches the state of her soul: cold and dead. The source went on to say that they're just faking it to keep their brand alive:
“Kris and Bruce are all but over. They have grown apart and their relationship is all about business these days rather than love or romance. They’ve built a brand together though, and that’s very profitable for both of them, not to mention the amount of valuable assets and business ventures they have together. There’s no way Kris is going to go through with a divorce right now, despite the problems they are having. She’s determined to keep up the façade of a happy marriage at all costs. Showbiz and her career come way before any chance of divorce."
The better question is, what haven't they faked for attention and money? They fake everything. But you'd think that faking a marriage is child's play for Pimp Mama Kris. I mean, her daughter did that. Obviously, faking a marriage is so easy that a dumb dumb can do it. PMK is a world-renowned pimp, so you'd think she'd have bigger ideas. Doesn't PMK know that if she fakes her death and moves far away from civilization never to be heard from again that she'd become even more famous and rich and legendary! (Shhh, nobody tell her that she wouldn't become any of things.)
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Submitted by Anita Bidet on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:28pm.
why the hell did he marry her?
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I wonder that myself, this guy was an accomplished athlete and didn't look like and old lesbian back in the day. Kris was an athlete groupie trying to latch on to a pro for his cash.
I wonder if this is karma since I heard he cheated on his previous wife.
Kris is a harpie on steroids.
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"Do I have to chop off my legs, install hard cutlets into my chest and learn Elvish in order to get some hot dick?"-MK
lol to the comments on this post!
Ditto MissAnn, but can we throw in Hohan and Falcor Rimes as well?
... OR... Americans could STOP watching their shit shows, STOP buying magazines with them on/in them, and STOP buying any product they get paid to produce/hawk. It's not that hard to understand that they are a product of what the media TELLS US we should LOVE and BUY. Bullshit! They are gross and disgusting, and I am inundated with the news of their disgusting lives simply by walking past a news stand, turning on my computer, of flipping through the channels. I don't WANT to know anything about these assholes and yet I DO. My point: A LOT of people buy what they are selling and that is why they still exist in your life and why they are so undeservingly RICH. I wonder if there's any way to start a movement. Sort of like what happened to that Kesha song. It disgusted people, and they turned on it/her. Why can't we do something like that to destroy the Kardashian fame?
Everything about this post is hilarious. PMK cracks me up.
Oh the humanity!!!!!!!!!
*cries over vintage Wheaties box*
Anytime you read a story that refers the "brand," it's a fake story released by their PR reps. I honestly hate these people.
Jesus h Christ... That nose job!
I'm still fascinated by the idea that anyone WOULD marry PMK. I mean, was he dazzled by her sociopathic lies? Did she drug him? I don't get it.
*********
I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
They both look like lesbians
"I used to work in a funeral home to feel good about myself, just the fact that I was breathing" - Chuck Palahniuk
Submitted by veryoldbat on Wed, 12/19/2012 - 2:38am.
Lol. I am still wondering how he managed to escape that one.
Her nose job is in the process of failing & Plastic Man is scary-looking as always.
Damn, he was cute back in the day, and actually accomplished something. WTF is wrong with this man, for his life to turn out the way it has? There's not enough money in the world to replace this gargoyle's balls or masculinity.
PHM... She will get her show right after they photoshop Kanye into the CHristmas card..
I'd say I'm surprised by this but the truth is I heard it in a song while I was sleeping upside down in my daughter's closet.- Dog
So when will PMK have her own dating reality show?
PMK nose appears to be caving in..after watching the non staged love fest at the ye olde christmas tree shoppe with Bruce pulling her around on a wagon.... my retinas fell out ... But I'm so sure this is twuw luwwwv and mawwage.
I'd say I'm surprised by this but the truth is I heard it in a song while I was sleeping upside down in my daughter's closet.- Dog
I also suspect Bruce's vagina has fully developed, causing friction into who's the grand dame of the marriage.
Christine The Hoff, I am a lifetime sufferer, now functioning depressive. Hugs to you, it's quite a fight (tho worthwhile). I have managed to avoid becoming a jaded husk.
Irish Fury, one of my besties has SAD. She uses the Lamp. Does that work for you?
Fuck. That's what I have done wrong all along. Getting an education, being respectful to others, but not having a "brand."
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Pitiful that it appears BJ only has contact with his children that have a high media profile. His other children used to be in the Khristmas Kards. PMK has wiped them out. PMK sucks the life blood from her own children and from athletes with whom she has contact. Witness the Golden Boy triathlete, a couple of basketball players and a football star.
Faking their love??? Look at those faces, is there anything on them that is real. Fake is all they know.
********************************************
I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.
No way. Kris is putting showbiz FIRST? It is so UNLIKE her.
************************************************
And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Bruce looks like a toy you can get from the dollar store.
Either I'm used to him by now, or Bruce is looking less hideous these days. (I said "less")
I hate Bruce's face. He looks like a lesbian burn victim.
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"Somewhere, Jennifer Love Hewitt is vagazzling the words "FUCK MY LIFE" onto her crotch while deep throating a Pillsbury cookie dough roll".--MK
why the hell did he marry her?
If I allow you to allow him to speak, we'll see.
_______________________________
Dark-sided!
Submitted by IrishFury on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 10:57pm.
Anyway, on to lighter stuff, Whamo is always MY bitch - been that way for too long to stop now! Just ask him!
^^^^
If I decide to allow him to speak, we'll see.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Thank you Hoff and Dog
This SAD happens to me every year and gets worse every year. Anywy, the rest of life is good so I can't complain. Hoff, actually I can't imagine year round depression, I have 5 months a year and it nearly kills me.
Dog, that's awful about that poor kid in CT. I do hope he copes ok. The day (and time) it happened, Mr F and I were in all the mini-Fury's school, attending small Fury's (age 6) Christmas concert. Middle and Oldest Fury are 7 and 8. Deeply close to home, I cried a lot over the weekened, even though we had our annual Christmas cocktail party (already had the invigtes out) and had a good time. But it was heavy on all out hearts. I cannot imagine the pain of these parents, I just can't.
Anyway, on to lighter stuff, Whamo is always MY bitch - been that way for too long to stop now! Just ask him!
________________________________
Dark-sided!
She is keeping that divorce in her pocket until she needs it, trust. Once the ratings start to REALLY dip, we will get Breaking Up with the Kardashians: Electric Boogaloo.
Submitted by IrishFury on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 10:43pm.
SAD is awful. I suffer from straight depression and I can't imagine it getting worse every winter.
feel better!
@Dog He'd probably end up like a Ken doll or Bruce with the hormone injections. But I think he'd do it. If he became a woman, that's all the more Louis Vuitton he could wear. And you know, fake lesbianism is pretty much the only thing he or Kim haven't done for attention.
Butterfly in the sky
I can go twice as high
Take a look
It's in a book
Pig-fucking movie
Pig-fucking movie
I have to agree. dragging kids into for anything other than love is disgusting. I mean, it's hard enough to raise kids when you TRULY LOVE each other, and there's still times you want to claw each other's eyes out.... jususssssss.
IF, I hate to break it to you but Whamo's actually not our bitch anymore. He and Sal have their own bromance going. It's rather revolting, actually.
Ireland! I'd love to see it some day. I'm sorry you have SAD. I don't know much about it but it doesn't sound pleasant. I hope the meds help.
Nothing much on this end. Found out this morning that a dear friend of ours knew one of the families in Newtown whose child was in the classroom. The boy is fine physically but otherwise, time will tell. Such a tragedy.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
@Whamo
It really is embarrassing. I'm the type who usually hates terms like "pussy whipped", but GOOD GOD is it appropriate in this case. I've only seen a few episodes of the Kardashians ( I stopped watching completely after the Kim marriage, even though I was never a big watcher in the first place). Seriously, if Kris were a man, she'd be accused of emotional and mental abuse. Their relationship kind of reminds me of why I hate Twilight so much, but with the genders reversed. He literally has nowhere to call his in his own damn house! I remember this one episode where they were remoldeling the garage, which was supposed to be Bruce's area. And Kris made it into a storage ro for all of her crap. Or when she gave him shit for buying expensive model airplanes then bought herself a gazillion dollar dress she planned to wear once. I'm sorry, but she's a sack of shit.
Butterfly in the sky
I can go twice as high
Take a look
It's in a book
Pig-fucking movie
Pig-fucking movie
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 10:33pm.
Isn't that the truth? and meanwhile, she peddles off with his balls in her glove box.
WendyNerd, if Lanye got pregnant it would have to be through surgery because everyone knows he's hung like a mosquito. Lim only fcks him for his $$, not the size of is little stinger.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Aww, no offense taken. Dawg.
I was in Ireland for a week and since October have been savaged by this thing called seasonal affective disorder but am on meds (and taking a couple of happy pills when needed) as well as light therapy, execise and physical therapy/training so trying to keep things together. Actually, our shared boyfriend (well, in your mind because he's MINE!) has been a good support to me here,as have others.
I hope you have been well, you filthy whore. What's going on in your life?
________________________________
Dark-sided!
I hope these people fall off of the earth.
They look like they came straight out of one of those devil/cult movies from the '80's.
* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *
www.poopreport.com :)
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
Submitted by WendyNerd on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 10:33pm.
But the bizarre thing with most of the lower paid reality stars doing this is that kids cost so damn much; they'd be better off with only one that they can afford raise after "retiring" (getting axed from the network). A parent spends an average about 300K per child up until age 18, and then add to that college (yeah right) or even technical school. And then there are the expenses that come along with becoming even mildly "rich," like housing in a safe area and possibly even a bodyguard (doesn't BooBoo have one?). If they're only doing it for the money, it doesn't seem like a smart investment.
Ugh, it's sad that we can talk about kids as investments. There are no words to describe this kind of scum. And the KKKs just do it for attention. That's all they fucking want. To take take and take some more from the world. Fucking bottom of the barrel vermin.
_______________________________________________
"I don't think anything can separate anything that's super-connected. "
-LeAnn Rimes
@Dog No offense taken. I was giggling when I read your response. Do you think Lanye (I'm calling him that now) would have to have octuples for his baby bump to rival the size of his head?
Butterfly in the sky
I can go twice as high
Take a look
It's in a book
Pig-fucking movie
Pig-fucking movie
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 10:28pm.
*do si do dances with Dog*... *loses grip while spinning*... *flings her into IF*... well, it gives you two time to catch up, right?... my work is done here!... heehee!
-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Submitted by christine the hoff on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 9:33pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 9:27pm.
If they did get divorced hopefully he'll be able to keep his favourite purse, you know the one his balls are in.
And his midol and his kotex
____________________________________________
What a Nancy boy he turned into. Does the guy not have any of his own friends that can pull him aside and have a talk with? I'll bet over the years they've slowly been whittled away so now the only people he knows are PR people, handlers and his wife's minions.
@CashewTime It's sickeningly common from what I hear, especially among the reality set. You know some of the Teen Moms who got pregnant again? I've heard through the grapevine that a lot of them do it so that they won't get replaced. Also, the relatable-mom/homemaker image is insanely marketable. Just look at the Gosselins or the Duggars. And then, of course, there is the 'reformed via baby' image Snooki is pimping right now. The fact that Spencer and Heidi haven't done it yet to me is proof that Heidi had her uterus replace with another black hole (the first three being where her brain, heart, and soul are supposed to be) to suck away any belly fat.
Butterfly in the sky
I can go twice as high
Take a look
It's in a book
Pig-fucking movie
Pig-fucking movie
"They’ve built a brand together"
The kind they use to mark livestock?
Fitting.
IF, please don't take this the wrong way because I don't mean anything bad but I haven't seen you! I've been sporadic in posting so I guess I missed that you were gone. I hope it was just a vacation? Good to see you, regardless, beesh!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by ESE on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 10:25pm.
Hootenanny?!?! Yeeeehaw, pard!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by WendyNerd on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 10:21pm.
Aw, I was just teasing. If you could see what my posts look like before I clean them up, you'd think I was typing Russian without the Cyrillic lettering!
Listen, if PMK could find a way to impregnate any of those broke-ass guys on the show, she'd have them in paternity clothes asap.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 10:15pm
heehee!... *Foghorn Leghorn impression*... i say, i say, i get around hit and run a bit these days, but the hootenanny always continues when the mood strikes!... HA!
OT: they should divorce and remarry to exact replicas of themselves... Kris to a wax sculpture of herself, and Bruce to... well, pretty much any wax made, stretched eunuch statue that resembles himself.
-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Dog,
I note you haven't made mention of missing me at all...
________________________________
Dark-sided!
Bruce: "My transformation into Martina Navratilova is almost complete! now, to get rid of the old hag ball n' chain once and for all....."
_______________________________________________
Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."